Tag: Live Blog

  • jury duty

    ECPA20140421_8781

    i was selected for jury duty yet again — every 26 months, like clockwork and for the first time ever went through a void dire that no lawyer in the world would let me survive.

    the case involved sibley hospital (where both my kids were born), the appearance of medical misdiagnosis (which we could accuse sibley of for sparkler’s cheek) and involved someone with a broken back (which the lady sparkler got when she was a kid)…

    … but i got bounced not due to a threat of me running away with the jury, but because of work travel I have scheduled for next week. oh well, all’s well that ends well.

    21 Apr 14 … released. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … do you remember when news anchors reported the news, and not their own personal thoughts on the news? #pepperidgefarmremembers
    21 Apr 14 … I’m in a jurors’ lounge that doesn’t have chaise lounges, swing music, or cocktails. can I sue for false advertising? #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … back in the jury pool. first time I’ve ever been excused in a peremptory challenge. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … just called for duty. goodbye, world. I’ll miss you. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … aaaaaand that clip was from “The Rainmaker.” nice to know someone has a sense of humor. is “Runaway Juror” next? #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … pretty sure the “inspirational” juror video just used a clip from 12 Angry Men. #nothelping #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … juror orientation video is titled: “We the People: A Call to Duty.” #epic #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … DVD player for orientation is broken (naturally) so I might have a chance to lead it after all. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … guy behind me is sick. guy in front of me is reading 20th century French poetry. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … fourth jurors’ briefing in just over 8 years. wonder if they’ll let me have a go at leading it? #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … I’m curious re: the relationship bathing has with my chances to get seated. #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … said this morning: “does my ESPN the Magazine hoodie make me seem too erudite?” #juryduty
    21 Apr 14 … #juryduty.
  • live: paralympics

    NBC must be trying to eek every last penny out of their $4.38 billion contract with the IOC, because (for the first time ever, that i know of) they’ve decided to air bits of the paralympics this year. all the same great sports as the “other” oympics, just commentary that’s even worse.

    15 Mar 14 … #sparklet is visibly upset that a girl “has” to ski down the mountain with only one leg. #Paralympics
    15 Mar 14 … if there is anything more awesome that a snowboarder going down the slope with two prosthetic legs, I don’t want to know. #Paralympics
    9 Mar 14 … wicked impressed by #Paralympics downhill seated monoskiers. #damn
    8 Mar 14 … fwiw, a guide goes down 20 feet in front of the blind skier, and barks out instructions. #EPIC #ParalympicsVirgin (2/2)
    8 Mar 14 … I’m quite literally watching “visually impaired” downhill alpine skiing. #OMG #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … this POV Of A Guy On Gymnastic Rings Is Better Than The Whole #Olympics, via @digg http://t.co/2WCaT4BiWw
    8 Mar 14 … am I the only one who associates Russian folk music with @billyjoel? #yeah #sorry #nevermind #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … the #Olympics wouldn’t license the #Paralympics their five rings? seriously?!? #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … I love how Russians will applaud wildly for anybody who speaks their language without butchering it. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … I seriously can’t imagine what is running through #Putin’s head right now. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine
    8 Mar 14 … turns out the #Paralympics involves athletes w/ a range of disabilities, including mobility, amputations, blindness, and cerebral palsy.
    8 Mar 14 … #Ukraine just got a standing ovation at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. I honestly don’t know what that means.
    8 Mar 14 … oy, #teamUSA for the #Paralympics still has to wear those horrible Polo christmas sweaters. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … cynicism aside, this is actually pretty awesome. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … sled hockey? #awesome #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … not sure how to say this, but there are more people walking during the parade of nations than I would have thought. #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … #fyi, the commercials aren’t any better during the #ParalympicsWinterGames.
    8 Mar 14 … “In Russia, it’s not typically a part of their culture to express joyousness.” #ParalympicsWinterGames #NBCFail #commentatingexcellence
    8 Mar 14 … wonder if the rings will open. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … Putin looks a little stressed. Wonder if everything is okay at home. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine
    8 Mar 14 … hmmm, making people stand for the national anthem has a different context at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … if @NBCOlympics brought the “B” team to the #Sochi2014 closing ceremonies, who did they bring to the #Paralympics? #nottheAteam
    8 Mar 14 … “Sports and politics do not mix.” #paralleluniverse #iwanttolivethere #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … interesting. The talking head on the #ParalympicsWinterGames says there is tension between #Ukraine and Russia. #whoknew?
    8 Mar 14 … am I the only one watching the Paralympic opening ceremony? #yeah #okay #thatsfine #bastards #ParalympicsWinterGames
  • live: oscars

    we’re live at the oscars, or at least on my couch in front of a really big tv that’s playing the oscars. it’s just like being there, i swear.

    3 Mar 14 … oy, the poor PA’s that had to find and stage all those typewriters. #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … someday I will grow up and won’t be horribly uncomfortable during acceptance speeches. #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … I honestly wasn’t sure that was Idina Menzel based on how badly Travolta butchered her name. #wtf #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … interesting that they found four celebrities to clap at the end of Bette Midler’s song. #humanitarianaward #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … I’m going to punch my TV. #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME BETTE MIDLER IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING. #Oscars #Oscars2014
    3 Mar 14 … pretty sure that’s the only time you’ll ever hear a Bill Pullman line at the #Oscars. #pullmannotpaxton
    3 Mar 14 … not going to snark on Pink’s performance, but want to meet whoever had the balls to select her over, well, everybody else. #Oscars
    3 Mar 14 … did the Academy actually pay someone to design a building that looks like Tom Cruise’s spaceship crashed into my college dorm? #oscars
    3 Mar 14 … somebody explain to me why watching Ellen deliver pizza was so $&@?ing funny. #Oscars
    3 Mar 14 … pretty sure Ellen just broke twitter. #Oscars
    3 Mar 14 … yup, every nominated movie I’ve seen is in the animated category. thank you, #sparklet. #Oscars
    3 Mar 14 … the #olympics just weren’t the same without @SamuelLJackson. #oscars
    3 Mar 14 … and, My So Called Life finally gets the recognition it deserves. #Oscars
    3 Mar 14 … when did navy blue tuxedos become okay? #oscars #stevemartinwouldbeproud
    3 Mar 14 … Bill Murray is starting to look like one of his characters from Scrooged. #oscars
    3 Mar 14 … if I was married to Julia Roberts, I wouldn’t have let her forget to wear underwear to the #oscars.
    3 Mar 14 … I’ve seen exactly zero of the best picture nominees, but I promise to still be indignant when [insert trendy movie] doesn’t win. #oscars
  • live: end of the sochi olympics

    24 Feb 14 … #okayimdone. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I had some nice things to say about NBC’s coverage this year, and then they have to go and poop on it on the last night. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I have no idea what’s going on. aren’t there supposed to be educated and engaged commentators to help me? #Sochi2014 #NBCFail
    24 Feb 14 … interesting that NBC shows clips from US v RUS hockey, instead of that game against Finland. #whitewashing #selectivehistory #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I love that Korea was given explicit instructions on how to tie their scarves so that the 2018 logo is clearly visible. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … yes, Cris, a 350 year old Russian ballet is exactly like Phantom of the Opera. #evendennismillerwouldbeanimprovement #Sochi2014 #nbcfail
    24 Feb 14 … okay, Chris Collingsworth officially needs to #shutthehellup. #Sochi2014 #nbcfail
    24 Feb 14 … where is Putin’s girlfriend? must have shown “too much personality” at the opening, #hmmm #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … kids choirs make everything awesomer. except “Kidz Bop.” that $&%?s rank. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … damn, I love the Russian sense of humor. #ringfail #Sochi2014 http://t.co/sc3lFA27Km
    24 Feb 14 … in my head, I have an image of Posner taking Remnick out back and kneecapping him, thus saving the world from his commentary. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I know watching is morally wrong, and that I’m losing brain cells as I speak, but this Nancy/Tanya special is #cracktastic. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I fundamentally dislike Sidney Crosby’s smirk. #TeamCanada #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … am I a horrible person for just assuming they’ve slept together, at least once? #IceDancing #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I tried to make it through this “gala” without drinking, but it’s just not going to happen. #alcoholnumbsthepain #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … frankly, I’m ready to watch something with significantly less inspiring commercials. #sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … just realized that Tara and Johnny’s comb over braids this week were a political statement in support of Yulia Tymoshenko. #sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … every time I see a Lindsey Jacobellis commercial, I involuntarily get a condescending pouty sad-face and think sad thoughts. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I hereby declare you a horrible human being if you weren’t teary by the end of the Jessica Long story. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … okay, NBC is actually pretty damn good at puff pieces. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … tho I was single parenting a 2 y.o. at the time, the @NBCOlympics special on Lokomotiv was pretty incredible. #Sochi2014 #NBCFTW
    22 Feb 14 … just found a stash of old mix tapes. based on the song selection, I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve ever known, dated or married.
    22 Feb 14 … how soon until NBC packages #Ukraine protests with olympic gold win, and sets it to the theme from “Terms of Endearment?” #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … has there always been this much country swapping at the #Olympics? #seemslikecheating #sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … what’s the thematic antonym for Miracle on Ice? #floptothefinns #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … conspiracies aside, looks like the math adds up. #Sotnikova #Sochi2014 via @nytimes http://t.co/3t9YOVC0T6
    22 Feb 14 … can we stop blaming the speedskating suits now?!? #Sochi2014 http://t.co/KKoRTxPaow
    22 Feb 14 … p.s. Ashley needs to shut it because transparency wasn’t the thing keeping her off the podium. #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … speaking of jackasses, Ashely Wagner is horrible but she’s right about transparency. #stillshutup #Sochi2014 http://t.co/o23bTNIiz7
    22 Feb 14 … well, turns out the penance for winking at the camera in the start house is to win gold. #imgoodnow #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … they’ve got to be so psyched to be skiing on something that kinda sorta actually resembles snow. #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … btw, I missed you guys. #dontgetthefluduringtheolympics #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … is that the same speed skater from GBR that keeps falling down? #Sochi2014
    21 Feb 14 … oh well, at least @DukeU lost last night. #Sochi2014 #USAvsCanada
  • live: bobsleds, snowboards, angst, and bob costas’ eyeball

    17 Feb 14 … I never thought I’d be happy to have Matt Lauer back, but here we are. Thanks for that, Meredith. #Sochi2014
    17 Feb 14 … the snowcross course is bucking so many riders, the commentators aren’t even bothering to point them out as they go down. #Sochi2014
    17 Feb 14 … is #Sochi2014 actually trying to kill off all their snowboarders?
    17 Feb 14 … I want to be the fat guy in the back of the bobsled. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … each time I turn away from the tube, #TeamUSA scores another goal. so, I’m going to stop watching. #USAvsSLO #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … Rebecca Lowe and Al Trautwig should never share the same screen. It creates a vortex of emotions that shreds my soul. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … seriously, I can’t see the #FACup through the glare from Mitt Romney’s teeth.
    16 Feb 14 … with two kids, a wife, and a 60-hour a week job, I’m fully caught up on @NBCOlympics coverage. how is that possible?!? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … the flirting between Rebecca Lowe and Al Michaels shouldn’t make me as happy as it does. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … in a #curling battle between Canada’s shirts and Norway’s pants, who wins?!? #NOBODY #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … South Korean speed skaters aren’t any less annoying when wearing Russian uniforms. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … yup, definitely the suits. #7thPlace #11thPlace #22ndPlace #37thPlace #TeamUSA #speedskating #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … we’re blaming the suits now? seriously?!? #yourejustold #speedskating #TeamUSA #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … so glad an Austrian skier is saving the cheetahs, because if she won’t then who will?!? #sigh #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … It’d be awesome if one of these Russians popped off their helmet and was Edward Snowden. #luge #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … twenty years from now, I’ll be having nightmares about turns 5 and 11. #luge #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … the #olympics aren’t the #olympics without @SamuelLJackson live tweeting the whole thing. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … my wife on her comment on Meredith Viera: “I hope that shows up on NBC’s social media monitoring in the morning.” #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … my wife on Meredith Viera: “ugh, I can’t stand looking at her cheeks. look, I can’t wiggle my face!” #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … I don’t care how bad you think Matt Lauer is, Meredith Viera is worse. #BobCostasForever #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … short track should only be a sport in futuristic, post-apocalyptic blood sport movies. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … where does all USOC’s money from McD’s and Coke go, if not to keep Olympians off food stamps?!? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … I’m nominating Elise Christie for saddest #Olympics appearance of 2014. #speedskating #tivo #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … Sweden wearing white, Korea wearing yellow, USA wearing black. did nobody look at their flags before they got dressed? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … #ohdeargod, how did no one think of team relay luge before this #olympics?!? #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … Vladimir Posner, I missed you. don’t ever leave me again. #ColdWarNostalgia #NBCFTW #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … “ya, you’d never dream of this type of drama for a team up by three in the final end. it’s amazing. it’s something you just don’t see.”
    15 Feb 14 … so glad that I’m watching #USAvsGER curling. they’re definitely not making the sport look, um, easy. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … the Midwestern-nice commentators for #USAvsGER curling sound like their calling a JV game. sadly, they’re right. #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … every event should have guns. cross-country, with guns. ski jumping, with guns. figure skating, with guns. #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … power-watching #TiVo’e #olympics coverage, making up for the past week’s silly distractions like work, wife, and kids. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … after falling for the #Olympics and the Mahre bros in Sarajevo, #Sochi2014 is a little hollow w/o an American man on the Alpine podium.
    15 Feb 14 … teeth per capita seems to be much higher for #TeamUSA. #GoUSA #USAvsRUS #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … this game was so much more epic when they were the Soviets. #USAvsRUS #ColdWarNostalgia #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … I have no idea who I’m rooting for. #USAvsRussia #RussianStudiesMajor #StockholmSyndrome #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … hey, hippie. pull up your pants. #TiVo #slopestyle #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … and the Al Trautwig award for most over-wrought commentary goes to whoever the hell is calling the women’s luge. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … nice to see the USA + South Korea speed skating mutual admiration society continues. #Grrrr #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … I’m deeply confused how Russia men’s hockey didn’t beat Slovenia by double digits. I’m guessing they are too. #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … drinking Cuba Libre’s, hold the cola. and, now that you mention it, don’t worry about the lime either. or the glass.
    14 Feb 14 … if/when I train for the #olympics, I’m brining sand toys so #mightyquinn can play in the long jump pit. @noellepikuspace #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … oh, Evgeni. nobody should have to go out that way. #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … how is it a false start if no one actually crosses the start line? #speedskating #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … Matt Lauer, has he found — gravitas? #BattlefieldPromotion #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … Once again, American women are cleaning up the mess left by American men. #halfpipe #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … goldpants the pirate. #wow #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … so USA and Canada don’t like each other any more? that hockey match was brutal. #thoughttheywerenice #eh #52ndState #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … women’s ski jumping is awesome. lots of happy athletes. shame it took 16 years to happen. #tivo #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … apparently success getting TV commercial deals does NOT equate to success getting medals at the #olympics. huh. #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … kinda surprised there’s better halfpipe conditions on Pennsylvania Ave than in Sochi. #DC2024 #Olympics
    13 Feb 14 … #sparklet has named her favorite stuffed animal “Sochi.” #FTW #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … wonder if the Russian homophobe police are patrolling the men’s double luge event. #lookssuspicious #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … mad props to the American fans at the sliding venue. #jingotastic #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … for the record, even 3 minutes and 31 seconds of Al Trautwig is too much. #FireAlTrautwig #CrossCountryDeservesBetter #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … Matt’s not bad. certainly better than watching Bob and trying desperately to avoid eye contact. #blegh #sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … having a hard time getting into the #olympics spirit tonight. #figureskating #flyingtomato #sadpanda #Sochi2014
  • live: first weekend of the olympics

    11 Feb 14 … Costas, drinking vodka: “tomorrow morning I’ll wake up on a curb in Minsk.” #NBCFTW #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … omg, there is a vodka museum in Moscow. #ofcoursethereis #whereelsewoulditbe #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … finally, @nbcolympics did a human interest story truly worthy of my attention. on vodka. #NBCFTW #Sochi2014 http://t.co/0E7KH8XNnn
    11 Feb 14 … bronze medalists everywhere should learn how to celebrate 3rd place like julia mancuso. #awesome #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … slalom: when bouncy sticks attack. #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … this #Olympics, the commentators are (largely) warm and compassionate. what are you up to, NBC?!? #soconfused #isthisthecbc? #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … would love to have witnessed the brainstorm that led to j.c. penny’s “when it fits, you feel it” tag line. #srsly #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … one thing I did not miss in the last 3.9 years: the US v South Korea short track speed skating rivalry. #ugh #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … I’m starting to feel that last 46 hrs of #Sochi2014 coverage, tho it’s admittedly easier when 30% are prime time re-airings. #goodnight
    10 Feb 14 … benefit of tape, delay #Sarka is fine but split her helmet open. #Sochi2014 http://t.co/VGHEMVUAud
    10 Feb 14 … video of American Bill Johnson winning Downhill Gold, Sarajevo 1984. #sochi2014 http://t.co/IktV6bkWnD
    10 Feb 14 … oh, Bode. #dude #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … if you want to love women’s hockey, watch the third period of Russia v Germany from this morning. #greatstuff #liveextra #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … #murica, where the boys are named Sage and the girls are named Ty. #slopestyle #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … women’s Olympic soccer > men’s Olympic soccer. women’s slopestyle > men’s slopestyle. #truth #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … my wife has pink eye. Bob Costas has pink eye. coincidence? #ithinknot #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … I desperately want to say something dark and cynical about Meryl and Charlie’s moms, but I’ve got nothing. #squeeee #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … jesus, Putin. stand and clap. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … dear. holy. god. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … my 4 y.o. is downhill skiing through the house. #Sparklet #FTW #Sochi2014 http://t.co/cS36Eddyl0
    9 Feb 14 … anybody know if I should watch ice skating now, or will NBC just make me rewatch it again tonight in prime time? #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … since when did the French get good with guns? #NoSurrender #Biathlon #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … this #Olympics my 4 yo has learned to ID the US flag, and to be sad when one isn’t on the leaderboard. #dropthemic #sparklet #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … women skiing with guns is good. #FredSavage #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … Al Trautwig must be blackmailing NBC, with the 379 times they’ve re-aired the same two #crosscountry races. #FireAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … I love you guys, @texasinafrica @MoElleithee. even more than I love @NBCOlympics, err, I mean, #Olympics.
    9 Feb 14 … turns out Team Russia thinks it should be illegal, too. http://t.co/6RIlbUpD4K #crosscountry #sochi2014 (2/2)
    9 Feb 14 … seems like running over someone else’s skis to prevent them from finishing before you should be illegal. #CrossCountry #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … i have literally lost track of what i’ve watched before and what @NBCOlympics is re-airing for the 24th time. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … despite all the #nbcfail’s, the deference @NBCOlympics is giving to Johnny Weir’s clothing choices is noble and awesome. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … luge is awesome. skeleton is awesomer. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … @NBCOlympics’ interview w/ Hannah Kearney last night was excruciating. maybe talk to the Canadians about what they did right? #NBCFail
    9 Feb 14 … please DM me your deets so that I can, um, thank you appropriately. love, your biggest fan. #NBCFail #Sochi2014 (2/2)
    9 Feb 14 … dear NBC programming director. thank you for saving all of your original programming until after 1am. #Sochi2014 #nbcfail (1/2)
    9 Feb 14 … making mental note to never stay at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. #subliminalprogramming #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … would love to meet the inventors of #moguls and to have been there when they pitched their idea to skiers the first time. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … as I near my 20th Olympiad, I feel comfortable saying that Americans aren’t very good losers. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … athletes are people who make hard things look easy. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … “I’ve never even tried that trick before.” #thingsyouneverwanttohearduringanolympicsinterview #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … I wish I could enjoy slopestyle, but all I can think about is that someone’s gonna kill themselves. #toobig #toohard #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … go after those twizzles! #ihavenoideawhatimdoing #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … there is a Canadian ice dancer named Virtue? I wonder what their stripper name is. #Sochi2014
  • live: opening ceremony of the 2014 winter olympic games

    Giant horses are seen during the opening ceremony of the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

    It’s that time of the year again, where I clear my couch, lock my self in the basement, and leer at my family when they try and take the remote from my hands. In short, exactly what I need to revise the soul.

    And for those of you with narrow views of social media, I’ll be live tweeting most of the olympics over here on Twitter. Come on in, the water is warm.

    9 Feb 14 … WOULD YOU LET THE %$&£?!ng SNOWFLAKE GO?!? #nbcfail #nbcfail #nbcfail
    9 Feb 14 … DOT regulations require 4 hours of rest for every 12 hours of #olympics watching. #WhatdImiss #BesidesAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … skiing, now with 100% more guns! #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … this is the 3rd time @NBCOlympics has aired the women’s skiathalon today. is there nothing else happening in #Sochi2014 today? #wtf
    8 Feb 14 … when I was fifteen I could barely walk. #Lipnitskaya #FTW #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I think the commentators have a different definition of “glaring mistake” than I do. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I love thinking of ice dancing as having a blood sport rivalry. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … so, if I eat at @McDonalds every morning will I become an #olympics champion, too? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Evgeni skating to “Roxanne” from Moulin Rouge was kinda awesome. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “No one picks their wax better than Norway, huh, Chad?” #FireAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … the first voice I heard this morning was Al Trautwig’s. #deargodwhyhaththouforsakenme #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “The first rule about smiling at Russians is do not smile at Russians.” #Sochi2014 cc: @texasinafrica http://t.co/OhhyzizLmk
    8 Feb 14 … I don’t remember ever thinking there wasn’t enough ice skating in previous Olympics. So, why did we add another event? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … that slope style course is a %£*^?ng monster. reason number 437 I’m not an athlete. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Bob Costas’ desk looks something from a Bond villain’s lair, making him #EVIL?!? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … running through the cast was a nice, nice touch. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … it’s cute how Matt thinks that Putin sleeping around with #olympic athletes somehow undermines his awesomeness. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … #Sochi2014 commercials are so much better than the crap I watched during the Super Bowl.
    8 Feb 14 … oooo, swan lake. nice touch. shoulda seen that one coming, tho. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … seriously, though. this is pretty and all, but where is the caravan of cheerleaders in white pickup trucks?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … remnick is giving Matt’s YOLO comment a run for its money. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … comparing the Russian Revolution to the next commercial break. #commentatingexcellence #NBCFail
    8 Feb 14 … there’s obviously no epileptic people in Russia either. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … SOME of the greatest ballet dancers? no, sweetie. Russia gave us ALL of the greatest ballet dancers. #falseequivalence #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … yup, no gay men in Russia. move along please. nothing to see here. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “We went up to the moon. What’d we get? Bored.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … it’s easy to forget how much better Russia is at theatrics than the rest of the world. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … don’t worry, Russia. every great country goes through an awkward French phase. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … #TeamUSA has #RussianUniformEnvy. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … so, is Putin’s ex-wife pissed, or relieved? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … really, Matt. is that what YOLO stands for? #commentatingexcellence #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … big win of the games so far? reintroducing me to bad Russian techno. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Putin: “Thank you, Ukraine, for coming. So we can crush you.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … there is no problem a little jingoism can’t solve. #TeamUSAoutfit #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … OMG, WHITE PANTS AFTER LABOR DAY?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “smile and wave, boys. smile and wave.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … madly preparing “jingoistic Christmas sweater” snipes for #TeamUSA’s arrival. #shootingfishinbarrel #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I’m proud to have represented Nepal at the 1987 ODU Model UN conference. #REPRESENT #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Meredith and Matt are now officially in a race to see who can be more culturally insensitive. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … god, I love the Russian national anthem. makes ours sound like a drinking song. #ohwait #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … remnick, you’re making baby Jesus cry. be a force for good. don’t give in to Matt and Meredith. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … corn mowing machines. #olympicmoments
    8 Feb 14 … I hope that there will be 20 white pickup sticks stuffed with cheerleaders. #olympicmoments #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … do you think there will be a shout out to socialized medicine? #olympicmoments
    8 Feb 14 … do you think that maria sharapova could afford to pay someone to dress her better? my rates are incredible affordable. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Obama looks like he’s on Skype. #SochiProblems #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … during Salt Lake 2002 did Matt and Meredith spend this much time talking about terrorism and U.S. human rights abuses? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Bob, yesterday didn’t happen. Stop trying to make yesterday happen. #HallmarkHoliday #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … is now the time to mention that I was a Russian Studies major? I’m lying. My diploma actually says “Post-USSR Studies.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “it begins on the edge of the western world.” #cryingalready #justkidding #noreally #Sochi2014
    5 Feb 14 … are unfinished rooms “appalling conditions?” I’m guessing @washingtonpost doesn’t cover disasters, poverty, or elections. #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … 35 minutes of #Olympics coverage, and I’ve already heard four pronunciations of the word Sochi. #hireafactchecker #alreadysucking
    5 Feb 14 … BREAKING NEWS: Al Trautwig was NOT taken out back and shot for his London 2012 #Olympics gymnastics commentary. #FireAlTrautwig
    5 Feb 14 … what made me think that watching an #olympics preview infomercial called “Winter Gold” wouldn’t be horrible?!?
    5 Feb 14 … retired athletes turned commentators are proof that the hardest part of acting is knowing what NOT to do with your hands. #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … Apollo Anton Ohno bantering with Gracie Gold is #ohmygod #soawkward. #alreadysucking #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … women’s ski jumping just got 12 seconds of coverage, and 6 of it came from a @NBCOlympics promo. #alreadysucking #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … must be insane to be the grandfather of your sport, and be just 27 years old. #theflyingtomato #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … dear @NBCOlympics, this year #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck. thank you.
  • live: democratic national convention

    i didn’t have the patience (or spare time, or the death wish) to sit through the Republican National Convention this year, but haven’t missed a beat of the Democratic alternative. i’m a horrible person, but i’m in a much better mood because of it.

  • live(ish): olympic aftermath

    as of the end of the closing ceremony, i was only about 50 hours behind in my olympics coverage — which, frankly, is a record. i’m typically still clearing through the last few days of events long after people have forgotten they even occurred.

    • evancparker… p.s. has NBC’s Animal Practice been canceled yet?!? #GodIHopeSo #Olympics

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… damn, I didn’t miss NBC’s shoddy editing of the #Olympics. wonder if I can move out of the country before #Sochi2014. #TivoDelay

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… #Sparklet just said she wants to watch the #Olympics. so proud. and so happy I still have 5 hours banked on ye ole TiVo.

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 9 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and holy crap this women’s boxing thing is for realz. #DidntGetTheMemo

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… still 16 hours of #Olympics coverage left on my tivo, and race walking looks like a scene from a Will Farrell movie.

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 20 hours of #Olympics left, and I swear all of it is platform diving. ps. the divers’ towels are stupidly small. wtf?!?

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 48 hours after the #Olympics concluded, and I’m not missing Ryan Seacrest at all. #Nope #NotEvenALittle #NuhUh

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 31 hours of #Olympics left, but in case you forgot the gymnastics commentators are still #Harpies. #FireElfiSchlegel

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 39 hours of #Olympics left. i’d lose my gourd as a handball goalie if getting scored on “just” 26 times was considered good. #Brutal

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker … 42 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and my 2 y.o. (#Sparklet) wants to watch nothing but rhythmic gymnastics. #GodHelpMe

      5 days ago Reply

  • live: closing ceremony

    it’s not over — i’ve got 52 hours of coverage stacked up on my Tivo — but it’s close enough for government’s sake. or, olympics sake. oh, yes. the closing ceremonies.

  • live(ish): the final weekend

    we’re getting close to the end — well, at least the rest of the world is. i’m already 40+ hours behind in my coverage, and my TiVo is starting to struggle under the weight of the 8-10 hour episodes that are backing up on the hard drive.

    the good news is that if i fast forward through any sport with mean, uninformed, or inane commentary then i should be caught up in no time.

  • live: olympics, week two

    i always start falling behind in the second week. intentions to watch 21+ hours of coverage a day, however good, start to wear thin in the face of other priorities — like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom.

    thank god i have two years until the winter games in Sochi to catch up.

  • live: three day weekend of awesomeness

    i took today off from work — hypotetically because it was my flex day, mostly so sparklet and i could go for a bike ride, but secretly so that i could blow through a dozen hours of olympic coverage (relatively) undisturbed.

    giggedy-giggedy.

  • live: olympics, week one

    going back to work is, well, awkward.

    the first day back during the olympics is always the worst, facing a tivo still full from the weekend and another 16 hours that taped while you were away. the “good” news is that NBC’s coverage is just as hyperbolic and manic-depressive as ever.

    time to catch up.

  • live: the first weekend

    i’ve cleared my weekend.

    well, other than you know having a toddler, having a new born, having a wife, probably having to work a little, but other than that i’m glued to the tube. and the computer. and the ipad. and the iphone.

  • live: london 2012 opening ceremony

    []
    it’s that time again.

    the time when our global attention turns to overly-earnest featurettes on athletes overcoming adversity, when we look for horrible commentary by television announcers pressed into service to describe a sport they know nothing about, when jingoism is not just tolerated but encouraged, and when even bob costas becomes annoying.

    it’s NBC’s coverage of the greatest sporting event on the planet.

    19:32 first “uplifting” montage of athletes. of the 2012 olympics. oh, yes. it’s on.
    19:39 i can almost smell the vaseline smeared all over their camera lenses.
    19:44 Matt Lauer needs a toupee.
    19:49 the mighty Quinn keeps wailing every time Meredith Viera comes on the air.
    19:55 look, it’s Hobbiton!
    19:58 what are these random rugby videos from? How are they going to get that meadow out of the stadium again? Why am I “afeared”? I have so many questions.
    20:04 honoring the decline of the pastoral-agrarian society? These Brits sure know how to parrrrtay.
    20:05 more breakdancing men in top hats, please!
    20:08 britain: we’re the country that brought you smokestacks.
    20:09 wonder what the random bloke in Sheffield thinks about his outcry right now.
    20:13 a friend of mine described this production as “crack-tastic.” I honestly don’t know that goes far enough.
    20:15 okay, the waterfalling fireworks from the Olympic rings was a pretty nice visual. Make a note: first compliment came 45 minutes in.
    20:18 first annoying Visa commercial. Wonder how many times we’ll see that in the next 18 days.
    20:23 would love to know who pitched the idea of jumping out of a helicopter with James Bond to the Queen. Oh, to be a fly on thaaaat wall.
    20:25 come on Queenie, smile.
    20:33 nothing says “Britain” like Tubular Bells and socialized medicine.
    20:35 OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY SPELLS OUT NAIONAL HEALTH SERVICE.
    20:39 Voldemort: the capstone of 400 years of British literature.
    20:41 we could have saved ourselves 6 movies if someone had just told Harry Potter that Voldemort was scared of Mary Poppins.
    20:45 my wife totally called that Chariots of Fire was coming.
    20:48 … but not Mr. Bean. Didn’t see that one coming. Nope.
    20:55 the Olympics are celebrating 40 years of air headed British teens. Awesome.
    20:59 Meredith and Matt needs to remember this isn’t actually the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.
    21:08 do you think the Queen knows what “Frankie Says Relax” means?
    21:13 the Brits created the interweb? I thought Al Gore did?!?
    21:14 oh, David Beckham. You’re so cute, at least when your lips aren’t moving.
    21:31 awww, I like the Aussies.
    21:33 my wife just suggested I do a blog post on Olympic commercials that are better than the opening ceremonies. Talk about a race to the bottom.
    21:39 is it a sign of Stockholm syndrome to say I’m optimistic for the 2016 opening ceremonies in Rio? I mean, the whole thing will be just half naked women dancing, no?
    21:50 new game: drink every time Bob Costas says something inane.
    21:52 I already can’t feel my face.
    21:54 get Djubuti on the floor toniiiight.
    21:59 my wife is talking international fiscal policy which, coincidentally, is more interesting than the parade of nations.
    22:12 kudos to Nike for their “other” London ad. Good stuff.
    22:20 on Wikipedia wondering what happened to Netherlands Antilles.
    22:32 the Mighty Quinn is out. Mommy is out. I’m watching St. Kitts march in. Where did my life go wrong?!?
    22:43 if I hear Bob Costas say one more time how “fast” this is going… Pow.
    22:58 Idi Amin joke, really? Ouch. Too soon.
    23:07 so nice to see team USA in something other than cowboy hats (which, ironically, we’re worn by Russia instead).
    23:09 feeling pretty bad for Team Great Britain and their gold lamé track suits — oif.
    23:12 Thank god for Kate Middleton, because the Queen seems surgically unable to smile.
    23:16 totally forgot about he flame. Not sure I’m going to make it.
    23:18 some one shut Bob Costas up before he insults another country.
    23:46 Paul McCartney and the cauldron lighting finally had the stuffy decorum I expected from this opening ceremony.
    23:46 the flame is awesome and all, but someone is going to get disqualified in the javelin for not clearing the cauldron in the middle of the field.
    23:48 is “hey, Jude” the national anthem or something? Just saying’.
    23:52 i hate forced audience participation.
    23:54 ILOVEYOULONDONGOODNIGHT!
  • live: the royal wedding

    [Tower of London, London, England, UK.]
    why in god’s name am i awake?

    i know, i know. i read vanity fair’s the royal watch alarmingly regularly, have been known to read the delicious awfulness that is the daily mail, and get more news/programming from the bbc than i do from all the american networks combined.

    so, it possible that i might be a bit of an anglophile. which, i guess, is exactly why i’m awake. and, so long as i’m up, i might as well live blog this thing.

    4:59 AM the lady sparkler, last night, on why she wasn’t going to get up this morning: “i love london. i love scottish whisky. i named my daughter after the bride. i think that’s enough.”
    5:01 AM looks like i have about 27 channels i can watch this thing on — hello, bbc america.
    5:02 AM seriously — i can’t stand NBC during the olympics, how in god’s name could suffer through an American network covering the royal wedding?
    5:13 AM the token “awkward american in the crowd” they just interviewed wasn’t quite as awkward as usual — the gods are truly smiling on the moment.
    5:21 AM someone appears to have planted trees in the middle of the abbey. guess i should have gotten up a bit earlier, to hear that one explained.
    5:33 AM there’s a corner of the abbey where they’re putting all the people under the age of 80, right? i mean, the bride and groom have to have at least one set of friends they slipped in under strict instructions to not get plastered and start dancing on the tables …
    5:38 AM in case anybody was wondering, karin vogel is officially the last person in line for the british throne. sadly, she did not get an invite.
    5:48 AM the queen looks great. charles looks old. isn’t that backwards?
    6:03 AM totally missed the big wedding dress reveal because the kettle just went off.
    6:09 AM need to redact my previous crack on the trees in the abbey. from the ground level, it’s actually quite lovely.
    6:15 AM well played, kate. well played, pippa. ease up on the gold tassles there, boys.
    6:20 AM “maawidge. maawidge is wat bwings us togethaaa, today.”
    6:25 AM <sniff> i promissed myself i wouldn’t cry… </sniff>
    6:33 AM they look tired — beautiful, but tired.
    6:35 AM wedding sermons still make me squirm, at least those since a wedding i attended 10 years ago where the catholic priest droned on about “copulation” for 15 minutes.
    6:41 AM sparklet’s awake. awake, and very confused why we’re watching something other than plaza sesamo.
    6:52 AM so, are the people at the back of the church excited they actually got in the door or ticked that they’re not 35 yards farther back so the could watch it on the jumbotron in hyde park?
    6:55 AM interesting, the queen doesn’t sing along to “god save the queen.” somewhat obvious in hindsight, i guess …
    6:56 AM wait! how are they married if they didn’t kiss??? everything in the princess bride was a lie.
    7:04 AM the lady sparkler is up. asked if the bride’s father was the one in the black suit.
    7:10 AM my wife is beaming — at least until sparklet tripped, fell over, cried, dusted herself off, and started beating on her little bongo drum.
    7:16 AM lovely.
    7:19 AM my arm hurts from just watching them wave.
    7:21 AM the queen looks ecstatic. hard to believe how much has change in the royal outlook from even just five years ago.
    7:24 AM where do they store all the carriages, limousines and flags when there aren’t any royal weddings pending? i have so many questions.
    7:36 AM um, the rather uncomfortable goth chicks with the crazy hats seated behind the queen during the ceremony were the children of Fergie, ex-Duchess of York. they just can’t catch a break, can they?
    7:48 AM diana had such style — but the 80s were still the 80s, and (in hindsight) her wedding dress was really just plain dreadful.
    8:03 AM we need more national holidays. are either of the obama girls old enough to get married yet?
    8:12 AM commentator: “as a people we’re not childish, we’re not stupid. we know we have problems. but for one day, we live in the moment where we can celebrate our past, our future, and our political stability. there is a kind of wisdom found when you suspend cynicism. it’s a different kind of knowledge, but it’s a knowledge found in the innocence of a wedding day.”
    8:21 AM they keep dragging the crazy people in the costumes on tv. hey bbc, stop encouraging these people.
    8:31 AM they finally kissed — whew, that would have been awkward had they missed that part.
    8:32 AM i’m pretty sure one of those 5-year olds in the doormouse costumes is actually taller than the Queen.
    8:35 AM wills is a lucky, lucky man — but needs to get that girl a cheeseburger, stat.
    9:42 AM in such a good mood. beautiful women should marry ugly, awkward men more often.
  • what’s next … an earthquake?

    well, after a brief return to normalcy, sparklet’s sleeping habits are back to being a royal pain in the rear. she’s fighting us going down, and isn’t usually staying down for long.at one point this week i stopped asking God for world peace, and started asking him to focus on letting me sleep.

    based on last night’s events, he wasn’t amused:

    • 8:20 pm — after 40 minutes of trying, sparklet is finally asleep … but not until a full hour after her bedtime.
    • 8:35 pm — ha, ha! just kidding, we’re awake.
    • 9:52 pm — seriously, sparklet. go to sleep. i walk in and she is sitting upright, but listing deeply to the side because she can’t keep her eyes open.
    • 10:28 pm — the lady sparkler finishes up pumping, and we bunk down for the night.
    • 1:10 am — it’s morning in babyland! the lady sparkler takes the first shift and stuffs a bottle in her face.
    • 1:25 am — the lady sparkler runs out of steam, and the hollering gets me up and out of bed. i take over.
    • 1:38 am — oops, looks like sparklet’s wet through her diaper! and now, after 25 minutes of feeding, she’s wide away and not the least bit interested in taking a bottle and/or going to bed.
    • 2:10 am — after tipping sparklet over for the umpteenth time (i swear she would try to sleep sitting up if we’d let her) she’s out, and i start for bed.
    • 3:01 am — i’m just about asleep when i get a call from a friend who is due to birth a baby girl in a couple of weeks. my heart leaps like a gizelle. turns out she hit the wrong button on her phone. false alarm.
    • 4:14 am — i’m just about asleep when sparklet’s up again, but (haha!) this time she is sound asleep once again by the time i get to the crib. funny.
    • 5:01 am — i’m rattled awake when an earthquake strikes suburban maryland. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP.
    • 5:30 am — just about asleep (for the first time since 1:10am) i remember to shut off my alarm so that i can squeeze an extra couple of minutes of sleep in the morning.
    • 6:58 am — the lady sparklet wakes me up to tell me that i don’t need to get up. (still figuring that one out.)
    • 7:20 am — i give up and go to work.

    there you go. independent proof that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. at least, not about sleep vs. world peace.

  • live: opening ceremony for the vancouver winter olympics

    It’s the most wonderful time of the Olympiad, and while I’m not exactly where I thought i would be right now (e.g. marooned in Austin waiting for DC to thaw) I’m still clearing as much of my calendar as i can for the Games. Thank God i had the sense to setup my TiVo before I left for Austin.

    A few thoughts about tonight’s Opening Ceremony:

    5:42 pm Wait, Jim Carrey is Canadian?
    6:13 pm Is Lindsey Voss’ shin the new Dwight Freeney’s ankle?
    6:38 pm Lindsey Jacobellis is never going to live down that awful, showboating mistake from Torino. I hope she gets a gold, just to shut the media up. Seriously, people. She was like 14. People make mistakes.
    6:44 pm Wait, Michael J. Fox is Canadian?
    6:44 pm Wait, Ryan Renolds is Canadian? I’m sensing a theme to my posts so far …
    6:45 pm Wait, Erick McCormack? Kim Cattrall? I feel like the Canadians are an alien species, walking among us … unknown, undetected.
    6:50 pm If I could rip on the new version of “We Are the World” without being a callow, heartless bastard … I would.
    7:02 pm The opening ceremony starts with an video, which (*surprise*) ends with the virtual snowboarder actually *entering* the stadium. Who saw that coming?!?
    7:05 pm This is going to be a long, cheesy night.
    7:07 pm Rocky and Bullwinkle has completely ruined my ability to look at the Royal Canadian Mounted Police with a straight face.
    7:08 pm Wait, Canada has a military?
    7:09 pm “O Canada” as a jazz ballad? Thank God there are no fundamentalist, patriotic Canadaians … else there would be rioting in the streets of the Canadian heartland tonight.
    7:18 pm After the dance-inspired welcomes from the Aboriginal nations of Canada, who else was looking for the English tribes to dance in with tea, and the French tribes to dance in with pea soup?
    7:39 pm It might have been the editing, but Georgia didn’t get quite the standing ovation that i was expecting after that horrific accident (the footage of which NBC has now shown three times in the last two hours).
    8:12 pm The U.S. enters, looking not quite as jingoistic as i was expecting. Is this a reflection of the post-Bush humility?
    8:19 pm Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams. Insert your own punchline here.
    8:33 pm Giant spirit bear emerges from the floor. Giant spirit bear is hungry. Giant spirit bear will now eat the dancing gnats before it. Mmmmmmm.
    8:37 pm As screwed up as the United States is, at least we don’t count Sarah MacLachlan as one of our national treasures.
    8:53 pm Tap-dancing, neo-punk wearing fiddle-players with sparklers coming out of their shoes. Now there is a stereotype of Canada that I missed somehow.
    9:12 pm Canada has a beat poet. They found him on YouTube. I wish I was making this stuff up.
    9:15 pm Maybe it’s too soon for perspective, but all the memorials for Nodar Kumaritashvili (the aforementioned Georgian slider) seem really forced. I wish they had found one really poignant way to remember him, instead of sprinkling in lots of superficial attempts.
    9:33 pm Wow. k.d. lang. I didn’t know she was Canadian, but I’m really glad to know she’s not American.
    9:39 pm Hey, i just *knew* Anne Murray would get dragged out before too long. Wayne Gretsky’s got to be next.
    9:58 pm Gretsky. Spoke too soon.
    10:00 pm One of the four pillars of the Olympic cauldron didn’t make it out of the floor, so one of the four torch bearers (Steve Nash) get’s screwed. Shouldn’t one of the other three bearers invited him over to “help” light their pillar? So sad.
    10:07 pm Even worse, Wayne Gretzky gets to light *two* cauldrons? Now I feel REALLY bad for Steve Nash.
    10:09 pm Who thought five minutes of Wayne Gretzky carry a torch on the top of a pickup truck was good television?
    10:15 pm It’s over. It wasn’t great, but at least it didn’t feature thirty-six pickup trucks full of cheerleaders roaring around the stadium.

    PHOTO: Courtesy of Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.

  • live: jury duty, pt 2

    i was seated for jury duty this month, and — as with all major life events — my initial response was that i should live blog the whole thing.

    but, a couple things held me back.

    first of all, while the jury is free to talk about the case after it has been decided, it’s not permitted to talk about it before a verdict has been rendered. needless to say, this puts a pretty big damper on the “live” part.

    second, i respect the whole judicial process enough to (a) be hesitant to air my version of other people’s dirty laundry, (b) not want to be focusing on blogging when i should be concentrating on the evidence before me, and (c) i really don’t want there to be enough specifics for anybody associated with the trial to track be down and either thank or assault me.

    as a result, there’s nothing here that discusses the substance of the case, i didn’t publish anything until well after the case was over, any times have been redacted and the times would have been unreliable anyway because i did all my “blogging” during recesses.

    so, yet again, my live blog is pretty far from being live.

    xx:xx why am I always the first one to show?  I should have learned by now.  in government, the early bird just waits longer.
    xx:xx the Boston red sox used to be the cincinatti red stockings.  not sure how I feel about that, or the fact that I learned that today in the jury room.
    xx:xx too much oxygen is pumped into the juror services staff room.  the prople giving the orientation are way too happy.
    xx:xx no more Ken Burns baseball, we’ve moved onto crowd-favorite (and queen latifa vehiccle) secret life of bees.
    xx:xx female attourneys/clerks wearing heels on tile floors sound suspiciously like clydsdales.
    xx:xx Dakota fanning would make a credible meth addict.
    xx:xx fellow jurors?  jeans and sweaters.  potential perps?  best suits I’ve ever seen.
    xx:xx man, some of these attourneys look really young.  or really old.  did anyone graduate law school between 1950 and 2000?
    xx:xx being seated.  i’m 54th of 70 for 14 jurors.
    xx:xx person next to me’s light reading material: 10 Year Strategy to End Homelessness.  further proof our city ain’t like your city.
    xx:xx person next to her?  reading the Belgian inheritance.
    xx:xx who architects courtrooms?  really, is there a practice/specialty required to make everything round and panel the walls with cheap pergo?
    xx:xx the whitenoise machine they use to keep bench conversations confidential is going to come to blows with me.  I feel like there are subliminal messages in there telling me to kill, kill, kill.
    xx:xx this trial is about stuff that is waaaay more exciting than I really want to be participating in.
    xx:xx i’m pretty sure “au bon pain” is French for “stale, crappy food.”
    xx:xx I got nervous about making it to the bench, but apparently they interview everyone, and come back through again for the formal selection.
    xx:xx the good news is if I don’t make this jury, it’ll be difficult to imagine that I’ll be back in the lounge for enough time to get selected into another one.  the bad news is that i’m going to make this jury.
    xx:xx if I ever saw a DC cop that wasn’t 6 ft 2 inches, 200+ lbs with a buzz cut, I’m not sure I’d believe they were legit.
    xx:xx this, but still not wild about being legally responsible for deciding someone’s residence for their forseeable future.
    xx:xx seated as part of the last group.  that keeps up my perfect “selection” record, having been seated each time I’ve been summunsed.
    xx:xx jury is 60% female, and two-thirds white. I wondered if I was going to have problems when the five of seven people excused before I was seated were 30ish white men. big departure from my previous experiences.
    xx:xx sam waterston has created such a high bar for prosecutors, it’s a wonder that anyone gets convicted anymore.
    xx:xx I want to google the defendant’s name so badly…
    xx:xx paranoia is sinking in.  I’m genuinely skiddish that I’m going to be approached by someone associated with the case, even though it’s never happened to me on any prior cases.
    xx:xx do people really do illegal things just for kicks?  on tv everything is always a crime of passion, and for some reason that’s more okay to me.
    xx:xx no one on either side of the aisle knows how to craft a narrative.  I honestly think both lawyers need message training, or should let me ask the questions.
    xx:xx heard the story today of a juror who was late coming back from lunch because she went shopping.  judge asked her what she bought, and then fined her the cost of those items.
    xx:xx one of the attourneys’ is trying to force being angry (and doing it very badly) to throw the witness.  feels like he must watch the “You can’t handle the truth!” scene from A Few Good Men every night before he goes to bed.
    xx:xx … oh, and his forced histrionics are really pissing off the Judge.
    xx:xx if I ever go on a crime spree, I’m going to retain good counsel beforehand.
    xx:xx people make me sad.
    xx:xx more juror reading material:  International Economic Management textbook, the New York Times, Other Boleyn Girl, an Excel spreadsheet, three iPhones and two Blackberries.
    xx:xx the phrasing of “The Govenment calls ______ to the stand” really skeeves me out.  Way too Orwellian for my taste.  The fact that DC’s “local” procecutors are actually Feds (an artifact of our being a Federal district) just makes it worse.
    xx:xx I’m pretty sure that i’ve caught the counsel smirking (twice) as witnesses have beaten back clumsey, ham-fisted attempts on cross to discredit their testimony.
    xx:xx It seems obvious in hindsight, but I’m having a hard time coming up with anybody who wants to be in this courthouse right now.
    xx:xx If we need juries for cases like this, I think juries should be required for weddings held up stairs … it seems unfair to know that, as soon as you get seated, you’re going to be depressed for the next week.
    xx:xx Turns out that the person who was most ornery about being seated is an executive assistant to a member of Congress.  Why is that not surprising to me?
    xx:xx … she’s also taking notes with a holiday Christmas light bulb pen.
    xx:xx can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be a defendant on trial.
    xx:xx pretty sure a juror is wearing a tennis skirt and running tights to court.
    xx:xx the marshall (?) tasked with guarding the defendent has fallen asleep.
    xx:xx the attorneys can identify and discuss evidence that doesn’t meet the burden to be formally introduced.  that strikes me as strange … if they can talk about it, why can’t we see it during deliberations?
    xx:xx overheard during deliberations, thrice: “maybe I am watching too much television, but why didn’t the police ….” damn you, CSI.
    xx:xx I’m struck by how civil jury deliberations are, even in the face of strong opinions and widly differing world views.
    xx:xx just heard not one, but two references to “Twelve Angry Men” during deliberations. i honestly thought i was the only person under 60 who had seen that play/movie.
    xx:xx during jury instructions, judge mentioned a case in another jurisdiction had to be retried because jurors became facebook friends and discussed the case during recess from deliberations.
    xx:xx the jury definately has it’s lions and it’s lambs. half are actively debating the merits of the case, and half seem content to follow along.
    xx:xx the guy next to me is/was a Leeds United fan.
    xx:xx I will say that the thoughtful, inclusive nature of the deliberation has restored most (if not all) of the faith in humanity I lost during the trial.
    xx:xx Consensus. I’m going home and hugging my baby girl.

    in other news, I’ve been summoned for grand jury duty this spring … which I am actually looking forward to a bit more. in grand juries, the burden of proof is lower, and the reprocussions (an indictment) are less severe.

    grand juries are also allowed to indict a ham sandwich, and that sounds like fun.

    UPDATE: You’ll never guess what happened the week of my grand jury summons. this and this. i’ll never be this lucky, again. ever.

  • live: the obama inauguration

    [Photo]
    ECPA20090120_1727, originally uploaded by [ecpark].

    again, i tried to live blog, but there was little chance with the telecom issues down on the mall. we’ve got an inaugural ball tonight (not one that he’s going to) so more thoughts later. here we go:

    5:12 am we’re up: go, go, go, go!
    5:35 am people are so … happy. I am sleep deprived, but “people” are awake, sunny and happy.
    5:44 am green line, Columbia heights station to l’ephant. trains are crowded, but not slammed.
    6:15 am tons of people backed up getting out of l’efant. saw man with “bush is a punk assed chump” bumper sticker on his back. nice.
    6:22 am in silver ticket screening line. line “starts” at third and independance. we’re on independance, a little before sixth.
    6:43 am 20 ft closer.
    7:10 am another surge. now we are *halfway* to fifth.
    7:24 am cops need to chill with the sirens. we’ve heard it before. hundreds of times. all this morning.
    7:32 am saw James carville, walking *away* from the Capitol. he did NOT look amused.
    7:41 am it’s getting markedly colder… just dipped below 20 degrees.
    8:12 am through the gates! onto the mall! storm the reflecting pool!
    8:33 am so, we went up to the front section, but all the spotsleft were obstructed views. picked a spot a little farther back, but with good view of the Capitol/jumbotron.
    9:12 am people have started singing (good) but first up is “if I had a hammer” … (bad)
    9:18 am “this little light of mine…”
    9:35 am “American Pie…” dear god.
    9:48 am people are booing Gingrich. we’re with a nasty, petty bunch.
    10:08 am Muhammad Ali just walked in … “Ali! Ali! Ali!”
    10:24 am john cusack? john cusack!
    10:41 am biggest ovation so far for ted Kennedy, tho ho-ho dean wasn’t too far behind.
    10:48 am huge jeers for liberman (youch!, but a great, warm reception for colin Powell. I guess the US took his side in that whole Bush/Powell divorce thing.
    10:51 am hova! hova! encore, do you want more …
    10:59 am well michelle’s dress makes up for that election night shag rug disaster.
    11:01 am bush is smiling so much he looks vaguely unbalanced.
    11:12 am bush one ain’t looking too good. didn’t realize he was hobbling so much. he needs to get health tips from jimbo carter, who looks like he could build a house, today, single-handedly.
    11:15 am can’t wait to see how hilary is announced. mrs. clinton? secstate elect? oh right, senator… (oops!)
    11:20 am catcalls for the bush twins. easy boys, this one’s taken!
    11:29 am try as I may, I can never get my hair to look like Lynn Chaney’s.
    11:35 am dick Chaney looks even meaner in a wheelchair. looks like old man potter from “it’s a wonderful life”
    11:42 am di-fi not looking so good, either. she’s hobbling more than bush one.
    11:52 am ick. not enchanted by that convocation. gene Robinson’s at the concert was 10 times better, and way more appropriate. too Jesus-ified doran official state event.
    11:55 am sing it areatha! first time Obama has smiled was at the end there.
    12:00 pm that whole “you may now be seated” thing is getting old for the odd million or so of us stuck back here in the fields.
    12:02 pm damn, yoyo and yitzak’s fingers look *cold*.
    12:07 pm I think I like Obama *more* for flubbing the oath.
    12:28 pm  great speech. hit all the right notes. little bummed his first words were “I’m humbled by the task ahead” as opposed to being humbled by the moment, his surroundings, the warm reception, his colleagues, etc. more thoughts later.
    12:34 pm it’s begun to snow 🙂
    12:43 pm me and my two million closest friends have decided to leave, starting riiiight about … now.
    1:14 pm we made it one whole block!
    1:28 pm there is something creepy/apocalyptic about “evacuating” the mall through an interstate highway tunnel. don’t get me wrong, it was a brilliant idea … but still creepy.
    2:18 pm well, we walked up the 395 tunnel (goes under the mall, following what would be third street) up to N street, and across to Scott Circle … where I just ordered a beer and a hamburger. god bless America.
  • live: obama inaugural concert

    [Photo]
    Obama Inaugural Conc, originally uploaded by [ecpark].

    Live blogging the Inaugural Concert on the mall today. Actually, not live blogging — because AT&T can’t maintain a #$%& signal on the mall — but kept blogging into my iPhone and uploaded it after the fact. Here you go:

    11:01 am on the 42 to the inaug concert on the mall. there is standing room only two stops in.
    11:42 am made it through security. no where near as nuts as I thought. no bags … except purses, shoulder bags, backpacks, bodybags …. *sigh.*
    12:10 pm lots of jumbotrons. early tweeters said there was only one. were they trying to drive down attendance?
    12:18 pm pre-flight entertainment has started. wonder if they will use the same 20 songs from the manassas rally.
    12:35 pm why does my blanket always end up as a prime cut through for people wandering the venue?
    12:38 pm elmo leading a chant of “we are one.” sweet Jesus, take me now.
    12:53 pm it’s nuts down here on the mall. two hours ’til showtime, and the place is packed.
    1:10 pm amy Hawthorne!
    1:25 pm The Lady Sparkler flipping out that people are stepping on her blanket. gonna be a long hour-twenty.
    1:52 pm Yup. same soundtrack.
    2:10 pm just noticed snipers on top of the Lincoln. btwn that and the low planes coming in to national, I’ve become temporarily distracted by mundane safetly concerns.
    2:20 pm convocation.
    2:31 pm nice reception for the first couples.
    2:36 pm denzel actually got more screams than Obama did in our little section. ear drums bleeding from pre-teens behind.
    2:44 pm Bruce Springsteen and a 100 person gospel choir. Sparkler’s happy. I think we can leave now. Oh, wait. Not until U2.
    2:49 pm mlk3 just mentioned the peace corps and half the crowd holla’d. think there are hippies around?
    2:52 pm jamie foxx doing an Obama impression is creapy good.
    2:56 pm clapping with gloves on makes people sound stupid.
    3:00 pm some just screamed “run forest run” when tom hanks took the stage.
    3:06 pm is it too much to ask for ATT to keep a functioning network for 2m people in then mall?!?
    3:11 pm I’m in such a good mood today, that I don’t even hate James Taylor … well, not *as* much.
    3:19 pm at the climax of mellencamp’s “pink houses” we had a dramatic fly-over by a perfect formation of 20 very confused looking Canadian geese.
    3:22 pm wow, the Daughters of the American Revolution just got thrown under the bus for denying African American singer Marian Anderson the right to perform at Constitution hall … in 1939. ouch.
    3:25 pm someone just asked if josh groban was an American idol winner. ouch.
    3:28 pm Is that the guy from “Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo bay”? what do you have to do to not deserve to appear at this thing?
    3:32 pm tiger woods? hmm.
    3:41 pm Garth Brooks singing American pie? this is the atlanta-olympics-memorial-36-white-pickups-stuffed-with-cheerleaders moment of the afternoon.
    3:43 pm nope. garth brooks just medley-ed into “shout.” *this* is the stuffed-with-cheerleaders moment. I guess “pie” was just the white-pickups part.
    3:47 pm celebrity #239 and #240 just spoke. can you imagine how big the greenroom must be?
    4:01 pm not one, but TWO songs by U2? Sparkler has left her mind. I repeat. Sparkler has left her mind.
    4:07 pm how do you follow that? two tethered eagles? ick.
    4:10 pm or, maybe, Obama?
    4:18 pm great speach. well written. made up for the awkward eagles thing.
    4:24 pm sing-a-long. I get the feeling I am in kindergarten, and beyonce is my teacher (WOHOO!)
    4:35 pm walking out.
    4:38 pm there is a boy on a leash rolling around on the ground like a dog. interesting lesson in socialized behavior.
    4:46 pm no way we are getting on public transportation. no way.
    5:10 pm wow! made it on a bus. a metro manager stopped a south bound S2 and turned it around in the middle of L street. it has these fuzzy seats, as if it were a charter. strange.
    5:16 pm Being interviewed by the Washington post. can’t wait to see how that story pans out. (pdf)
    5:21 pm final thought: if this many people showed for the concert, the inauguration is going to crazy. CRAZY!
  • live: the presidential election returns


    Final Obama Campaign Rally, Prince William Country Fairgrounds, Manassas, Virginia

    i’m posting out of order, but the lady sparkler and i went out to Manassas last night for barack obama’s final campaign rally, at the Prince William County Fairgrounds. (see the pictures on facebook, or check out the panorama above.)

    i’ll have more thoughts later (ie. tomorrow) but the rally was spectacular. they estimated the crowd at 90,000 and i’d absolutely believe it. he’s every bit as charismatic as clinton (mr, not mrs, who i met in early 1992) but hopefully without the, er, prominent character flaws. the lady sparkler and i went to the rally on a complete whim, but it felt great to be there for (hopefully) a little bit of history.

    we didn’t get back until just about 2am, so i am way too tired for coherent thought, much less coherent election night coverage … but we’ll see what happens as we get through the night.

    7:00 PM i love numbers! just like crack, only they are a little more addictive … and have a little less nutritional value.
    7:03 PM vermont is the first to go blue! as a former cog in the rep. bernie sanders (i-vt) machine, i am proud (i say) proud of this development … and can feel the entire city of Rutland (viva, rut-vegas!) having a conniption fit.
    7:18 PM cnn is using faux-hologram technology to project a chicago-based reported into the atlanta situation room. help me obi wan, you are my only hope. @#$%ng ridiculous.
    7:31 PM cnn has mccain up 8 to 3 … if that ratio holds, it’s going to be a landslide.
    7:40 PM What we should be watching … Early tells: Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina. Must McWins: Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri. Late flags: Montana, Colorado.
    8:02 PM on a bus, away from CNN and it’s killing me. I trust nothing important is happening?
    8:11 PM CNN mobile says electoral college is 77 to 34 in favor of Barack, but only KY and VT have been called. That’s a Palin sized WTF?!?
    8:27 PM oh, the northeast happened. and Maryland. and Illinois.
    8:34 PM Obama won granite staters who “never attend church” and “make less than 25k” … not sure that’s a good thing.
    9:02 PM dole goes down… burn, dole, burn! you godless heeeethan.
    9:10 PM 51 senators and Michigan. it’s early. why do the people on fox look so sad?!?
    9:13 PM it’s silly, but I was really hoping for Georgia. sad.
    9:20 PM fox calls Ohio for obama. stick a fork inmac, he’s gone!
    9:34 PM I [heart] the CNN magic state/county map. it may be my new celebrity exception. mmmmmmmmm.
    9:37 PM malvo (CNN) went a little heavy on the orange bronzer.
    10:13 PM giddy. just giddy.
    10:15 PM breaking news! CNN announces that a source in the McCain count says that he may have lost!
    10:20 PM Jessica Simpson appears to be providing election coverage on fox news, and seems to have just high-fives Brett Hume.
    10:28 PM Steve Forbes is on comedy central, and BET seems to have a “magic map” made from refrigerator magnets.
    10:35 PM William bennett looks like he wants to blink out of existance.
    10:42 PM Jon King just touched Joe Lieberman’s blue tile and it turned blue! Will someone please, please call something.
    10:55 PM wow, this has been a slow, slow 10-minutes…
    10:59 PM you heard it here first, BET just called virginia for Obama.
    11:00 PM that’s it kids!
    11:06 PM wow, Jesus. wow.
    11:09 PM ten minutes ago, this had nothing to do with race. now, it’s hard to see anything but …
    11:17 PM is saying “our long national nightmare is over” too strong?
    11:19 PM no, boos, repubs. no boos.
    11:24 PM McCain: Dude, if you gave this tone of a speech six months ago, you would have won. Who wrote this? Why now? Legitimately beautiful.
    11:27 PM This is the pre-2000 McCain … the one I could have been content as president way back when.
    11:29 PM well, lots of repub boos, but atleast no “drill, baby, drill!”
    11:41 PM Am I the only one who honestly doesn’t believe that this has happened?
    11:51 PM Florida, Nevada? Montana would be the end zone spike.
    11:56 PM CNN: “people are celebrating in front of the white house.” that’s not celebrating, bob. that’s taunting…
    12:00 AM Michelle Obama’s dress made me think nice things about Cindy McCain. Damn her!
    12:10 AM God, he makes a lot of sense.
    12:16 AM how long has he been writing this in his head?
    12:17 AM this is really happening, huh?
    12:25 AM seeing Jesse Jackson cry makes me hate him just a little less…
    12:45 AM the steers are a wall of noise. horns honking everywhere. trucks, cars. it’s beautiful.
    12:49 AM people are litterally shouting and clapping on each street corner. And I just face planted because i should have been walking instead of typing.
    12:56 AM if park road is half as noisy as Connecticut Ave, I won’t be sleeping tonight.
    1:05 AM I’ve seen a hundred people since the returns, maybe two… but not one hasn’t been happy, laughing, smiling, honking or shouting. even the one repub I’ve seen was happy.
    1:33 AM 18th and Columbia is a parking lot of people high-fiveing, strangers making eye contact and grinning, people shouting “yes, we did.” it’s like DC melted away, and became Portland, Oregon for a couple hours.
    1:34 AM screw people who say that DC isn’t a sports town. our sport is politics, it’s just that we don’t win often enough …
    2:20 AM watched CNN’s replay of obama’s acceptance speech. it’s even better the second time around.
    2:20 AM g’night.
  • live: the final night of presidential madness

    i’m desperately trying to come up with something else to liveblog tonight, mainly because i am struggling to come up with anything original that i could possibly say during another ninety minutes of political discourse.

    sure, mccain could come out with some kind of plan, and sure, obama could suddenly start spouting in arabic about the downfall of the great satan … but i am thinking the odds of this are a little low.

    I will say that there has been a lot of ink floating around lately which seems to be setting up nicely for an Obama win. The most interesting are from (admittedly moderate) Conservatives such as David Brooks:

    He’s phenomenally good at surrounding himself with a team,” Brooks said. “I disagree with them on most issues, but I am given a lot of comfort by the fact that the people he’s chosen are exactly the people I think most of us would want to choose if we were in his shoes.

    … and Andrew Sullivan:

    … McCain would have to concede that he didn’t vet her, made his decision impulsively based on no real knowledge of her, and that his first serious judgment as a presidential candidate was so monumentally irresponsible that it doesn’t just disqualify her for the vice-presidency. It disqualifies him for the presidency.

    This story line is the most interesting to me, as someone who was on the hill during the later part of Gingrich’s Republican revolution. I can say, the prevailing wisdom was that we had seen the death-knell of modern American liberalism, and that people we’re hoping that the Conservative lock on the halls of power would only be a couple of decades long.

    Sure, I’d take an Obama presidency in it’s own right, but just the possibility that we haven’t become a country of one permanent majority party is what’s making me feel warm and fuzzy right now.

    8:54 PM just heard five minutes on CNN where I couldn’t make out one pundit making one discernable point. it’s going to be a long, long night.
    8:58 PM tired of hearing deal people talking about real problems. can we have some fake voters talking about some artificial problems?
    8:59 PM john king: “john McCain is George bush’s older brother.” ouch!
    9:03 PM the candidates almost hugged. what are they up to?
    9:06 PM mccain has now started two-thirds of the debates with a hospital update about a prominent political figure. some one needs to explain to him that the demographic he should be targeting isn’t exactly on hospital watch.
    9:10 PM schaeffer: “senator mccain, would you like to ask a question?” mccain: “um, no.”
    9:11 PM obama: “senator mccain has obviously been listening to his own ads … now, let me tell you what I’m *actually* going to do.”
    9:12 PM eating 53-week old wedding cake. third slice. it’s *that* good …
    9:13 PM this is much more socially awkward that usual, and i honestly didn’t think that was possible.
    9:18 PM McCain shouldn’t talk about the Depression era like he was there. Oh, wait. He *was* there.
    9:20 PM I wonder if there is a “debate moderators” support group, where they go through therapy as a result of the candidates refusing to answer their questions.
    9:21 PM Ooo, McCain is getting feisty. “I’m not President Bush. If you wanted to run against him, you should have run four years ago.”
    9:22 PM … and he just tanked the rest of his response. a promising attack, snuffed out in its youth.
    9:27 PM multi-tasking. just posted pictures of a weekend of hiking in sky meadows state park, virginia.
    9:29 PM wow. jesus. finally. mccain brought his “a” game to this debate. him looking so hurt about the john lewis thing kinda made him look like a wuss, though.
    9:31 PM it seems like a slippery slope for either of them saying that the other one is going too “negative.”
    9:32 PM i’ve decided … these two need marital counseling.
    9:36 PM mccain pressing how he has been treated by the obama campaign is a bold gambit. i wonder if it pays off … or makes him look completely unfocused on the issues.
    9:40 PM obama: “I think that your focus on [Ayers and Acorn] shows more about your campaign, than it does about my campaign.”
    9:41 PM okay kids. that was fun. can we get back to the issues the rest of us care about now?
    9:48 PM i wish i had more to live blog, but nothing terribly original is happening … other than the rising levels of condescension.
    9:50 PM i wish the campaigns would watch the stupid little audience response graph on cnn. talk about issues? graph goes up. talk about each other? graph goes down. how hard is this to understand?
    9:52 PM the lady sparkler and texas in africa said within minutes of each other that this debate is waaaay too inside baseball.
    9:53 PM tee-hee! i’m going to start playing the “drink everytime McCain slips an attack in on Obama” game. think i will make it through the next 3 minutes?
    9:55 PM you know, we were *just* talking about how much better a model that Peruvian free trade pact was over the Columbian one. like, last night over dinner. this is the best debate ever!
    9:57 PM the lady sparkler just broke out the vodka. i was going to avoid telling you that it’s lemon vodka, but that tidbit was just too tasty.
    9:58 PM obama: “i was just talking to a couple of women who had to be in their mid-50s…” i hope they don’t turn out to be 40, because he may have just lost their votes. thank god he didn’t guess their weight.
    10:02 PM if mccains smile becomes any more forced, people are going to think he died.
    10:05 PM why does Joe the Plumber get all the love??? how about Evan the Fundraiser, or HGM the Freelancer, or Texas the Professor? oh, that’s why. we’re the white intellectual elites. damn.
    10:07 PM HEY! mccain is a self professed federalist. dig out those papers, kids!
    10:09 PM john, saying justices must strictly adhere to the consitution *is* a litmus test.
    10:11 PM I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of televisions cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
    10:12 PM we have to change the culture of america, john? i thought america was the most perfect country around. you can’t change it! that’s un-american …
    10:16 PM that stupid little audience response graph just went through the roof when obama started talking about education, and working to reduce the demand for abortions.
    10:16 PM last question! oh, thank god …
    10:21 PM i love soldiers too, but making them all teachers without requiring certification? i’m not sure that is such a great idea.
    10:25 PM the CNN pundits’ scorecard is currently 46% mccain, 54% obama.
    10:25 PM YES, SARAH PALIN KNOWS ABOUT AUTISM. YES. NEXT SLIDE, PLEASE.
    10:29 PM john mccain’s closing statement was perfect. it’s a damn shame (for him) that the rest of his campaign hasn’t carried out that theme …
    10:31 PM go vote now, it will make you feel big and strong …
    10:32 PM cindy needs to adjust her vertical hold, or her white balance, or something … i mean, daaaaaaaamn girl.

    final thoughts

    the pundits are saying that mccain was great out of the gates (agree) that it was mccain’s best debate (agree) and it wasn’t obama’s best (agree) and that obama was on the defensive for the first third of the debate (agree).

    but they are also saying that mccain let obama back in the debate by dwelling / looking emotionally disturbed by the ayers / john lewis thing (agree a hundred times over). mccain looked angry. obama looked like an academic. wonder how all this translated into the masses …

    after the last debate, there was a lot of conversation about how mccain’s window was closing, and that this closing window means he would have to take larger risks (attacking obama) and those risks would have a greater chance of backfiring.

    i certainly think that mccain has either slowed or stopped the hemorrhaging, but did he fundamentally change the course of the debate? dunno, but my guess is no. and i am certainly not going to loose any sleep about it.

    speaking of which, good night. god bless. i’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

  • debate, part 2: the revenge of mccain (live)

    crap. there is a debate tonight, isn’t there. ugh.

    8:07 PM who am i. why am i here? no, really. why *am* i here?
    8:59 PM blah, blah, red states. blah, blah, undecided voters. blah, blah, obama, blah, blah, ohio, blah. blah, blah, debates don’t matter. blah, blah.
    9:01 PM if tom brokaw is approving the questions, why doesn’t he just ask them? i hate the townhall format. does that make me an elitist?
    9:02 PM i think we need to reevaluate making me a despot. i promise to be benevolent.
    9:08 PM mccain looks like a compassionate human being. what is he up to?
    9:14 PM oh, man! naked gun 2 1/2 is on. what am i doing with my life?!?
    9:16 PM obama isn’t looking good pointing so many fingers. just ignore mccain, and talk about a PLAN.
    9:18 PM NO ONE OUTSIDE OF THE BELTWAY THINKS THAT WRITING A LETTER IS DOING ANYTHING AT ALL. DROP IT.
    9:23 PM i hate this format. now instead of not answering the media’s questions (which we all agree is perfectly acceptable) they are now ignoring the questions of the general public. how is this good thing?
    9:25 PM mccain is going to cut entitlements and build a bunch of nuclear plants. i’m guessing he isn’t trying to turn dems to his cause …
    9:26 PM good for Obama knowing the price of gas in Nashville. nice touch.
    9:30 PM mccain is really spending a LOT of time talking about his record. are there that many who are unsure about it? if the are unsure about it, are they going to take his word at face value? i’m guessing not.
    9:30 PM “we’re not rifle shots here.” what exactly does this mean?
    9:38 PM CNN: the little audience response graph at the bottom of the screen *flatlined* on mccains crack that keeping track of obama’s tax plans are like nailing jello to the wall.
    9:42 PM social security reform isn’t tough, why hasn’t it been done yet, John?
    9:45 PM i’m thinking john’s record on climate change is a little suspect if his veep isn’t even sure global warming is caused by human beings. speaking of, i wonder if she falls into the “caused by cow flatulence” camp.
    9:49 PM don’t do it, obama. don’t go negative on mccain. we expect it from him, not from you.
    9:51 PM i have to look up that “politicians haven’t done anything in 30 years about energy, and mccain has been there for 26 of them” comment. if you *have* to go negative, that’s the way to go. let people draw their own conclusions. lead the horses to water, and most of us will drink.
    9:58 PM health care as a right for every american. god bless that man. god bless him.
    10:02 PM john mccain’s response to when to use military might is the best he has ever given … right up until that patronizing part at the very end.
    10:03 PM either i’m drunk or these things are getting easier to sit through. wait a second, i am drunk. nevermind.
    10:07 PM CNN has these analyst score cards … and i added up all six results for both candidates — Obama, 60. McCain, 11. Youch.
    10:09 PM I’m so tired of McCain’s hero-worship of Petraeus and Reagan. Why does he feel he needs to do it, and what would the analogy be for Obama. Clinton? Kennedy? LBJ?
    10:12 PM Hey, McCain’s got a new hero!!! It’s Teddy Roosevelt, now. Maybe he will shut up about Petraeus. (Or maybe not…)
    10:19 PM McCain’s negative comments flatlining on the audience response graph reminds the missus of McCain’s heart flatlining, which reminds her that he’s old, which makes her sad.
    10:21 PM gawd, he really is old.
    10:22 PM crap, Obama forgot his lines about Russia. slow and steady, my friend. noun first, then try a verb, then maybe an object … nice and slow.
    10:27 PM i am soooo tired of the “pre-conditions before talking to iran” issue. even if you are right, it’s not a campaign issue. NEXT SLIDE, please.
    10:29 PM stupid question! iran will not attack israel, and (if they did) china and russia would never oppose a response. the entire question is non-sensical. not to mention, isreal would beat the bejeeebus out of iran, so there would be no need to respond by the time we could muster the troops.
    10:31 PM question from new hampshire: “what don’t you know and how will you learn it?” damn hippies. wiskey-tango-foxtrot?
    10:32 PM wrap it up kids, i’m done.
    10:34 PM there is such a generational gap between the two candidates, and it shows in every single word, look and response.
    10:35 PM Final score from CNN — McCain, 29. Obama, 69.
    10:37 PM the disdain between the two candidates is actually pretty sad, especially considering they have both run a (relatively) clean campaign … at least when compared to the last two elections.
    10:56 PM three debates down, one to go. i hope i’m out of town for that one. maybe i should start planning a trip …

    final thoughts

    The generational gap was more apparent tonight that it ever was before … and i’m guessing it was due to the absence of the podiums. McCain looked old, and the more he looks old, i think the more the rank and file Americans (who aren’t beguiled by Palin’s neocon-ly charms) bail on his campaign.

    I’m glad the onslaught of personal attacks didn’t come … i think slinging mud would hurt both sides more than they’d help, because it causes the middle to stay home. We’ve had enough elections in recent memory that were about mobilizing the base, and that doesn’t help the national discourse by any means.

    Yet again, I don’t there was anything here to change the conversation, and status quo favors the guy in the lead. My main concern is as it was after the very first one … Obama needs to start building up a lead, because once the white people are in the voting booth alone, all polls and predictions become bogus.

    update: i just heard cnn’s republican and democratic analysts hand the election to obama (pending major implosion, etc). basically, the argument was that the things that mccain would need to do to take the lead are either too late (policy shift, separation from bush) or have too high a potential to backfire (personal attacks).

    other interesting tidbit … in the initial poll, 50%+ thought that obama won (not news) but mccain’s unfavorable ratings are at 46%, while barack’s fell to 34% after the debate. if mccain is really 12% behind in unfavorables, there is no way he wins … you just can’t overcome a gap like that.

  • live: the veep debate

    I’ve been looking to avoid this evening since I heard the veep nominations…

    The expectations for Palin are so low, that if she strings two coherent sentences together she wins. If Biden crushes her, she wins. If the moderator asks her hard questions, she wins. If she shows up with a star-spangled swimsuit and poses with a gun, she wins.

    To quote the pimply faced boy from the Simpsons: this is only going to end in tears.

    7:33 PM To get warmed up, some favorite veep-debate quotes:
    7:33 PM “Who am I? Why am I here? I’m not a politician…”
    — Admiral James Stockdale
    7:34 PM “I will never have another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.”
    — Senator Dan Quayle
    7:36 PM “George Bush taking credit for the Berlin Wall coming down is like the rooster taking credit for the sunrise.”
    — Sen. Al Gore
    9:01 PM Ahhh … back on PBS, but I am already missing that little audience response graph on CNN.
    9:02 PM If you flip between CNN and PBS, CNN is on a 5 second tape delay. Are they expecting a wardrobe malfunction?
    9:04 PM How come Joe in a black suit looks professional, but Sarah in a black suit looks like she is going to a funeral?
    9:07 PM Well practiced responses from both candidates. Palin stumbled right out of the gate, but settled down quick.
    9:12 PM Wow. I mean, like wow. Satan prepped this woman. She is on point, on message, and (like all good pols interacting with journalists) completely ignoring the question.
    9:15 PM Joe’s gotta watch it … he’s going to come across as a inside-the-beltway wonk, and she is going to become the guardian of the people.
    9:18 PM Satan, i tell you, Satan. Ham-fisted (barking at Gwen where there is nothing to bark about) but is going to do great for the anti-PBS vote.
    9:20 PM She’s stumbling just enough to increase her foloksy cred, but not enough to embarass herself.
    9:22 PM Flip over to CNN. Human’s are perverts. I can understand the audience response for men jumping when she speaks, but the audience response for women jumping when *he* speaks?
    9:26 PM Oh. Need something to distract me.
    9:28 PM How is she being allowed to successfully stake out their ticket as the one of change? Joe’s got to step up his game …
    9:33 PM Am i the only one who is a little disappointed that she didn’t say that Climate Change is just God hugging us closer?
    9:39 PM Oh, my. She just used tolerance as a reason to be intolerant. Artful.
    9:44 PM She just paused about 5 seconds before responding to a question about Iraq, and you could actually see her sifting through the mental file folders / media training looking for the appropriate canned response…
    9:45 PM When, exactly, is she going to start drooling again?
    9:49 PM I think she wants to sleep with Petraeus, too. What is the deal?!?
    9:55 PM Joe Biden shouldn’t talk about Joe Biden in the third person …
    9:57 PM Is anybody buying Sarah Palin as the harbinger of change? The Dems are “spending too much time pointing backwards” to convince Palin that they are going to move us forward. Ouch.
    10:00 PM I want to live in the parallel universe that she’s living in.
    10:06 PM I never thought in a million years that Palin would be the one who would need to watch coming off as being condescending.
    10:07 PM SOMEONE BRING ME A DRINK!
    10:09 PM “a team of mavericks.”
    10:15 PM This folksy thing is at the point where it’s just making me mad … literally, and certifiably, angry. You, betcha!
    10:17 PM Does Cheney have a doctrine now? And is she actually supporting it? How in God’s name does she think that a more active role for the veep will get her ticket elected.
    10:22 PM Sarah Palin: the candidate of change and tolerance. Doublethink. Blackwhite. She must be a closet fan of Orwell.
    10:35 PM thank god that’s over.
    10:36 PM observation number one: this answers the question about whether she can be properly media trained, not about whether she can be a chief executive.
    10:37 PM observation number two: mark shields called her “relentlessly colloquial” and i think that hits the nail on the head. the open question is whether or not the people want that right now, after 8 years of someone who couldn’t pronounce “nuclear.”
    10:41 PM observation number three: she threw the bush administration under the bus. i know that it won’t be remembered in 50 years, but if bush is expecting a positive legacy … oiff.
    10:52 PM that’s it. i’m done. good night, kids …

    a couple more thoughts after the debate … it’s fascinating the sea change we have seen in regards to women and their roll in society. i’m sincerely happy that a woman can go into a veep debate with a folksy, soccer mom schtick and hold her own against opposition in a power suit.

    let’s be honest, if geraldine ferraro went for this approach 24 years ago, she would have been run off the ticket on a rail.

    to me, this election was all fun and games until tonight. honestly, i suspect i could live under a McCain administration … even if i would prefer pre-2001 as opposed to this particular incarnation. but, imho, the country just can’t survive even two years of a Palin administration.

    the way she looks down on intellect, forces herself to be colloquial, follows her politico-driven script, her obviously ultra-conservative credentials … that’s just a continuation of the bush approach which has proven bankrupt.

    that’s it for me. i’m (right now) going to go donate a lot of money to the Obama campaign, and go to bed to get the nightmares over with.

  • live: the first presidential debate

    Guess who live blogged the debate tonight? Tonight’s coverage came from waaaay out in suburban Maryland — home of the very mighty baby boig. Also, in case you missed it, I live blogged that joint appearance by Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton on Saturday night two weeks back.

    thoughts from the debate

    8:05 AM I honestly can’t imagine a better prologue for the debate than McCain calling for it to be canceled, and Obama educating John that a President needs to be able to walk *and* chew gum at the same time.
    12:08 PM debate is looking like it’s a go. washingtonpost.com reporting that mccain has agreed to participate, citing “significant progress” on the bailout.
    12:14 PM in case you hadn’t heard, mccain has already won the debate … and this “happened” while he was still trying to kill it.
    5:10 PM i’m more than a little nervous about rolling out new technology (posting from iPhone) in a live broadcast event … even if it there are just three of you watching/reading.
    8:18 PM at the party … negotiations have commenced as to which network coverage to watch. it doesn’t look good for PBS.
    8:55 PM So we have the option of watching RoboCop or the debate. Dunno, I do like Peter Weller.
    9:01 PM Here we go, in the land of the stars and bars. On CNN. *Sigh*
    9:03 PM I [heart] Jim Lehrer.
    9:05 PM Interesting how McCain entered from the *right* of the stage … hmmm.
    9:05 PM Barack = too much makeup.
    9:07 PM McCain trots out Kennedy’s illness? Nice try, but poor form … especially for what was deemed a “mild seizure.”
    9:08 PM At least McCain practiced his response to the financial bailout question. Barack should have had that speech polished. You’ve *got* to map out your first fifteen offensive plays if you want to coach in this league, kiddo.
    9:10 PM It’s going to be a long night if they don’t start answering Jim’s questions…
    9:11 PM How is the financial crisis like the landings at Normandy? I got WAY confused on that one…
    9:13 PM Point to John McCain for making a joke … proof that he’s actually alive. Especially important as he (a) isn’t moving much, and (b) his makeup makes him look like a corpse.
    9:16 PM That lighting makes McCain look like he has a comb-over … or maybe that’s just reality doing that.
    9:20 PM “I didn’t win Miss Congeniality in the US Senate..” NICE!
    9:27 PM Barack is looking great … and I don’t think McCain is winning many points being *so* focused on pork barrel spending. It’s a bullet point, John. It’s not the whole speech.
    9:31 PM Is McCain running for President or Accountant-In-Chief? Next slide, John-boy.
    9:35 PM Barack is much more nimble at jumping from issue to issue … John-boy isn’t flustered, but isn’t exactly fleet of feet here.
    9:44 PM I hope Petraeus doesn’t retire … who is McCain going gush over when he’s gone.
    9:48 PM Watching on CNN, I am fascinated by the little graph on the bottom of the screen measuring audience response, one line each for dems, indies and repubs … I know it prolly has no substance what-so-ever but I can’t tear my eyes away
    9:51 PM Barack is calling McCain out for “misrepresentation” a lot. People here are standing saying “Hallelujah,” but I wonder how the confrontation is looking to the undecideds.
    9:52 PM I feel like McCain keeps fighting the last argument.
    9:56 PM Is McCain sleeping with General Petraeus? I know about this “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing, but maybe John-boy should do a little more “don’t tell…”
    9:58 PM John-boy supports extinction for North Korea and jokes about bombing Iran? Two good lines to Obama. I’m thinking he was well prepped.
    10:00 PM McCain’s jowells are twitching … I think he’s getting ready to combust.
    10:01 PM Oy. A verbal battle of soldier’s mother’s bracelets … unseemly. You can see that Obama is wearing the bracelet, John. Why bring it up?
    10:05 PM McCain just called Iran an “existential” threat. Was that “existential” as in “existentialism,” as in Albert Camus and Friedrich Nietzsche … as in “I create my own reality?” Heck, I’d agree that John-boy creates his own reality …
    10:07 PM I know that I’m partial, but I’m pretty sure Obama is doing waaaay better keeping McCain honest than vice versa.
    10:09 PM “Punishing countries by not talking to them does not work…” *great* line from Obama, putting McCain square in the Bush camp.
    10:12 PM So, this reminds me of a funny joke I heard: Raul Castro, Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and President Obama walk into a bar — stop me if you have heard this one …
    10:18 PM I can’t hear the word “Russia” without thinking about Tina Fey saying: “I can see Russia from my back yard.”
    10:20 PM You know at least a hundred people outside Atlanta just called the Georgia state police to report that the Russians have invaded.
    10:24 PM That smirk on McCain’s face is positively Bush-ian. Do you think the general public finds it as pompous (and vaguely unstable) as I do?
    10:26 PM Does anyone know what Nunn-Lugar is? Two of you? Great. Are you an undecided living in middle America? No, not so much …
    10:28 PM If the U.S. is safer now than after 9/11, can we get step down from that “Code Orange” thing that’s messing up all the airports?
    10:30 PM I know Obama isn’t going to say it, but could the biggest threat to our security be to remain in Iraq? Or, for us to not fix our standing in the world?
    10:31 PM Spoke too soon. Obama just said “we must restore our standing in the world” and that statement shoved that audience reaction graph through the roof. Dems and Indies are way up. Even the repubs are up, up, up. Who knew America cared? Or, who knew a focus group in Atlanta cared?
    10:33 PM McCain just said “blood and treasure.” Which brings up an important point … does middle America celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and do they know it was actually last week?
    10:36 PM McCain just said Bush and Obama shared foreign policy stubbornness. Sharpest knock on the president so far, though (imho) it seemed a bit forced.
    10:37 PM John is tiring out, Barack. Just smile and nod… and say you love America, a lot. And babies.
    10:38 PM It’s over, enter the Stepford Wife!
    10:45 PM Well, that’s done … not sure anyone really won or loss, but I’m drooling over the next round of polling.
    10:46 PM How far up does Obama have to be to overcome people swapping teams in the voting booth due to the latent racism of Americans? Someone here at the party said 15%, though I’d guess Palin may have moderated that a bit (target for latent sexism).
    10:47 PM Okay, gotta drive home. More thoughts later …
    10:51 PM Not leaving quite yet. Was there any moment of this debate that we will remember in 20 years? I am thinking not. And it seemed to me that debating with McCain sullies Obama. I don’t like seeing such a gifted orator have to deal with a bean-counter like that.
    10:55 PM Lotta people talking (in person, on the telly) about Obama saying “John is right” so much, and that being a sign of weakness … I’m not so sure. A sign of bipartisanship, yes. Weakness? Maybe not.
    10:56 PM Okay, now I really am leaving…

    a couple thoughts from the drive home

    first, i liked how approachable obama seemed … he had a “kitchen table” schtick about him, and it think that will serve him well. it’s not him at his most eloquent, but i think everybody is expecting a good state of the union already. it’s still a question of if you want to drink beer with him, and the debate was a personal win for him here.

    second, that stupid audience reaction graph seemed to map indies and dems very closely together, with repubs more often swinging the opposite way. if that graph has value, which is a bold assumption, then this correlation is a very, very good sign for Obama. actually, anecdotally, i’d say that the three lines were more “together” when barack was speaking, and a little more separated when mccain was speaking. that could be good, too.

    finally, a Conservative commentator (not sure who) mentioned that foreign policy and national security are the bread and butter issues for McCain, and that if he doesn’t score in this debate, he probably isn’t going to score at any debate. Now, call the debate how you will, but i don’t think anyone is saying that McCain did any better than “holding his own” … so, that could be good, too.

    well, good night! god bless you … and god bless the united states of america.

    p.s. i want you to know i did this whole thing from a couch using my iPhone. come on in, my friends … drink the kool-aid. the water is *mighty* fine.

  • live (not really): McCain + Palin = The Coming Apocalypse

    so, i not going to watch the whole Repub convention (a man can only take so much), so it’s just Wednesday and Thursday this time around. To be fair, i wasn’t going to watch any of it … but i have to say that I think the nomination of Palin for Veep (or Trophy Veep, or VPILF, depending) is a masterwork. the dems are in real trouble on this one, and i hope she’s not the harbinger of the apocalypse for their ticket.

    Also, in full disclosure, I must confess that I am not live-blogging this, but instead “tivo-blogging” this … on wednesday night, the lady sparkler and I had to decide between going to RFK to watch D.C. United win its 12th major championship, or stay home and bear witness to the coming apocalypse. it didn’t turn out to be as hard of a decision as i’d have thought.

    UPDATE: I was going to try and tivo-blog both nights right now… but my weak psyche just can’t take another three hours on top of what i’ve already endured. You’re on your own until the weekend when i’ll plow through the final night.

    UPDATE #2: It’s two weeks later, and the last night of the convention is still untouched on my Tivo. I’m beginning to question my dedication to this effort …

    UPDATE #3: It took three-odd weeks to gain the courage to finish the repub convention. Boy, the things that I do for my loyal readers … all three of you.

    Random thoughts below.

    thursday night

    8:07 PM “Sometimes the best sermons aren’t preached, they are lived.” Pithy, but I don’t actually know who this guy is.
    8:08 PM eighth incancation of “John McCain put our country first.” at least those wacky repubs got that call and response thing down … drill, baby, drill!!!
    8:11 PM Now he’s extolling the virtues of “Sam’s Club republicans.” Big, empty, ugly, destroys family businesses, filled with crap you don’t need in quantities you can’t use. Interesting analogy.
    8:12 PM Who is he again? Oh, Governor of Minnesota … the state that brought you Jesse Ventura. Of course, I say this from the city that brought you Marion Barry.
    8:15 PM Bill Frist is talking about HIV/AIDS? That seems like an odd play for the Trade Federation. What’s he up to…?
    8:16 PM Interesting to see Frist explaining the genocide in Rwanda to the Convention … wonder if he is going to need a map. He might want to explain what “Africa” is first, and move on from there.
    8:17 PM Frist ended with “God bless the children of the world.” Is he some sort of Commie? Who ends a speach with something other than “God Bless the United States of America.” I mean, really?!?
    8:24 PM Nothing’s better than a white man in a $800 suit saying “Are you ready to rock, America?”
    8:25 PM Brownback is highlighting McCain’s historic vice presidential nomination. Has he forgotten about Geraldine Ferraro, or is he just highlighting that the RNC is historically 20 years behind the DNC on social issues?
    8:27 PM Great talking point for the repubs: “Last week in Denver, the other party was encouraging us to ‘believe.’ They told America over and over, ‘Yes we can.’ But when you look at the past two years with Democrats controlling the House and Senate, all we’ve seen is, ‘NO we can’t.’ They said we can’t reach energy independence by finding new sources of oil and gas in our own country. We can’t cut spending. We can’t have a health care system run by doctors and patients instead of a federal bureaucracy. They say we can’t win the war in Iraq. While the other side may say ‘yes we can’ and then votes ‘no you won’t’ — John McCain says ‘yes we will.’”
    8:28 PM okay, okay, okay, okay, okay … call and response. i get it. you guys are *just* like baptist preachers. i get it. please stop.
    8:34 PM Now Mary Fallin (R-OK) is digging up the OKC bombing? They really are the party of the past … how about we focus on health care, education, foriegn policy or the economy? Heck, I think talkin’ babies, guns, gays and jesus would be more useful for the party.
    8:37 PM Candidate for most forced soundbite of the evening: “We need a president who knows you can’t negotiate with Evil.”
    8:39 PM Oh, God. A video about 9/11. This can’t possibly be good news for either party.
    8:39 PM “The first attack came in Iran.” Wow. Subtle. I wonder who we should invade next.
    8:40 PM “And kill us they did.”
    8:41 PM “We remember buildings burning, bodies falling.”
    8:42 PM Video closes with: “We will never allow that to happen again.” Wonder if that statement comes with a life-time guaruntee. I can just imagine: “We voted for McCain, and then it happened again. Can we sue for false advertising?”
    9:01 PM Sen. Lindsey Graham is discussing the “surge” in Iraq, with a picture of military headstones (Arlington National Cemetary?) in the background. Now, *that’s* an unfortunate image …
    9:02 PM Newsflash: According to Lindsey Graham, John McCain is presponsible for the Surge! If we pair his surge up with Al Gore’s internet, I wonder what crazy things we could make …
    9:04 PM Oifff: “Ladies and Gentlemen … thank God for Joe Lieberman.”
    9:06 PM Graham just downgraded “Mission Accomplished” to “We are winning.” Maybe “we are doing pretty okay” is next?
    9:06 PM There are some *really* awkward pauses in Graham’s speach, while he waits on applause lines. Is the convention just waiting for big names, or does Lindsey have the speaking presence of a turnip?
    9:10 PM Video on Palin. Starts with: “Mother, Moosehunter, Maverick.” I don’t think they were kidding …
    9:11 PM Palin’s daughters make me … uncomfortable. How much of the under-25, Middle-American-male vote do you think they bring in for McCain?
    9:13 PM “Alaskan Oil and Gas Conservation Commission.” What noun exactly does “Conservation” modify in that sentance, “Alaska” or “Oil and Gas”?
    9:14 PM So, this whole “candidate as sex-symbol” thing the video is pushing … Sarah Palin creeps be out in one direction, and Hillary Clinton goes the other way. Isn’t there a happy median somewhere?
    9:18 PM Tom Ridge is great and all, but couldn’t they find a better setup man? And where is Cindy. I thought she was speaking today.
    9:20 PM Again, the applause from the audience is really weak. Where did they get these delegates? Shouldn’t they be making a ruckus?
    9:22 PM Not being glib (this time) but I honestly don’t understand this line: “For the consideration before us is not about who can take a 3 a.m. call. It’s about who has answered the call throughout his life.” Is it a reference to something I missed?
    9:25 PM Oh, no. I sense another “call-and-response” thing coming on. Do repub operatives read my blog? I’m honored and all, but i think you took my advice a little toooo literally.
    9:31 PM Hey, hey. Here she comes. Cindy McCain video: Why don’t they recognize his first wife, and those three kids? Strange, from the part of family values.
    9:35 PM Yup. I’m sold. Cindy McCain is just like me. I have a $300,000 dress, too.
    9:36 PM No podeum? Shut up and get on the stage, woman. No speaking for you!
    9:37 PM Speaking without a podeum?!? Interesting. Veeeeeerrry interesting.
    9:38 PM Nope, strike that. Without a podeum, she looks like a talk show host … only less Whoopi Goldberg.
    9:39 PM No, wait! An NFL sideline reporter … only more awkward.
    9:40 PM No, wait … Sally Struthers! Yes, I want to give money to the Christian Childrens Fund! Yes, yes, yes!
    9:41 PM Must. Resist. Fast forwarding.
    9:42 PM “From the beginning of time, no matter how accomplished in other fields, women have always sought a husband with an eye to what kind of father that man would be. Well, I hit a home run with John McCain!”
    9:45 PM No more! Where is the #@$%@ tivo remote?!?
    9:46 PM We get it. No animal is safe so long as Sarah Palin has a gun. Next slide, please.
    9:50 PM This speach goes … ever ever on, over rock and under tree, by caves where never sun has shone, by streams that never find the sea.
    9:52 PM Rwanda again. Crazy. It’s like there are at now atleast 10 or 12 other countries in the world.
    9:55 PM “STAAAAND BYY YEEEERRR, MAAAAANNN! ‘CAUSE AFTER ALLLLLL, HE’S JUST A MANNNN.”
    10:05 PM McCain video: John’s father ordered the place he was being held to be carpet bombed?!? Did I just hear that right? — "Gee, thanks Dad!"
    10:08 PM Okay, I admit … his Viet Nam story is great. I would have gone insane by day two. Okay, okay … hour two.
    10:10 PM Ooooooo. They just name-dropped “Mother Theresa.” They are goooooooood.
    10:13 PM Now, *there* is the audience applause that the GOP handlers have been waiting for. Thank god they showed up before the coverage shifted to the networks.
    10:15 PM How did we get here? He was written off more times than I can count …
    10:17 PM Listen to that applause for good ‘ol Dubya.
    10:17 PM “Finally, a word to Senator Obama and his supporters. We’ll go at it over the next two months. That’s the nature of these contests, and there are big differences between us. But you have my respect and admiration. Despite our differences, much more unites us than divides us. We are fellow Americans, an association that means more to me than any other. We’re dedicated to the proposition that all people are created equal and endowed by our Creator with inalienable rights. No country ever had a greater cause than that. And I wouldn’t be an American worthy of the name if I didn’t honor Senator Obama and his supporters for their achievement.
    10:23 PM What just happened? They showed three people tussling, one of them holding a flag.
    10:29 PM Fascinating. THe protester was holding a flag that said, “You can’t win an occupation” on one side, and “McCain votes against vets” on the other. Unfortunately, it appears to be the work of Code Pink, which almost completely de-legitimizes the whole thing.
    10:31 PM It’s a bad sign that I am paying more attention to researching the protest than I am the speach. Come on, McCain … earn your nomination.
    10:32 PM Hmm, didn’t realize CodePink disrupted Palin’s speach, too.
    10:33 PM McCain’s an environmentalist! He keeps recycling his lines … “I’d rather lose an election than see my country lose a war.”
    10:33 PM Good decision to bring regular people to shout out during speach. Very presidential. Very “state of the union,” actually.
    10:34 PM Senator Obama passed a corporate welfare bill for oil companies? That doesn’t even sound possible. Wonder if it was another republican rider to an appropriation bill.
    10:38 PM This is a sharp change in tone from the rest of the convention so far. I know you send your pitbulls to do the attacking, but it’s almost like a completely different convention …
    10:38 PM This is a sharp change in tone from the rest of the convention so far. I know you send your pitbulls to do the attacking, but it’s almost like a completely different convention …
    10:39 PM First time I have heard a call and response that consisted of “boo-ing.” Did the Dems do this? Doesn’t seem like a way to bring in undecideds and moderates.
    10:40 PM He’s doing a much better job that I’d have thought. Very mellow. Not snippy. Almost seems compassionate, which is something his public persona could use a little more of.
    10:40 PM Good line: “My opponent promises to bring back old jobs by wishing away the global economy. We’re going to help workers who’ve lost a job that won’t come back, find a new one that won’t go away.”
    10:40 PM Another good one: “Senator Obama wants our schools to answer to unions and entrenched bureaucracies. I want schools to answer to parents and students. And when I’m President, they will.”
    10:43 PM Speaking of … it’s amazing how intrenched charter schools are now in our culture. Not sure I saw that coming. Maybe it’s just because i’m in DC …
    10:46 PM So glad that America got to hear chants of “Drill, baby, drill!” in prime time.
    10:48 PM Georgia (the country, not the state) must be so happy to have gotten invaded at such an opportune moment. The republican party couldn’t even find it on a map two weeks ago.
    10:53 PM John has been practicing the “earnest” vibe. Wonder if he has been watching old tape of Ronald Reagan. The repubs only wish he had the same level of charisma.
    10:57 PM It all comes back to a prison cell in Hanoi. I wonder if that is going to be enough to get him elected…
    10:58 PM This whole “choosing” to stay another four years … if the Viet Cong really wanted to send him back, why would they be bound by the wishes of a prisoner? It seems a little non-sensical.
    10:59 PM He’s starting to get warmed up: “I’m not running for president because I think I’m blessed with such personal greatness that history has anointed me to save our country in its hour of need. My country saved me. My country saved me, and I cannot forget it. And I will fight for her for as long as I draw breath, so help me God.”
    10:59 PM Yup, definately going for the Reagan-esque grand finish: “Fight for what’s right for our country. Fight for the ideals and character of a free people. Fight for our children’s future. Fight for justice and opportunity for all. Stand up to defend our country from its enemies. Stand up for each other; for beautiful, blessed, bountiful America. Stand up, stand up, stand up and fight. Nothing is inevitable here. We’re Americans, and we never give up. We never quit. We never hide from history. We make history.”
    11:04 PM Well, time will tell. McCain definately came across as more of the 2000-01 McCain that moderates fell in love with, but he didn’t seem to make an overarching statement. There was a lot of traditional conservatism, and I’m guessing once Palin went right, McCain felt better about moving to secure the center. In my humble opinion, I don’t think this speach was a win for McCain … but it certainly wasn’t a loss either. One thing is for sure: Palin has oppened him up to whole new strategy in the last two months … and I think only time will tell if it’s going to pay off the way he hopes it will.

    wednesday night

    8:17 pm parade of female ceo’s (meg whitman, carly fiorina) testifying.
    8:26 pm michael steele is no baptist preacher, but holding his own. “we need someone who won’t play to the public applause.”
    8:28 pm beautifully framed argument against affirmative action: “the ideal of a color blind society is worth fighting for … because each man, woman, and child is an individual, and not the member of a hyphenated class or group.”
    8:29 pm good god, did steele really say “drill, baby, drill. and drill now.”
    8:30 pm omg. the crowd is now chanting “drill, baby, drill.” i’m not kidding. i swear, they are actually doing it. oh, god .. and there are signs, signs that say “drill now.”
    8:31 pm btw, the republicans get the call and response thing. steele’s use of “do you want to put your country first” was exactly how it should be done.
    8:34 pm damn. if i was african-american, i would have some poignant things to say about mr. steele’s position visa vis our shared ethnic background.
    8:35 pm “the only label that counts isn’t partisan, but ‘American.’”
    8:36 pm romney is up. oh, my.
    8:37 pm “For decades, the Washington sun has been rising in the east – Washington has been looking to the eastern elites, to the editorial pages of the Times and the Post, and to the broadcasters from the coast. If America really wants change, it’s time to look for the sun in the west, cause it’s about to rise and shine from Arizona and Alaska! “
    8:40 pm Oh, my. He’s not kidding when he says … “Is a Supreme Court liberal or conservative that awards Guantanamo terrorists with constitution rights? It’s liberal!”
    8:41 pm “Liberals would replace opportunity with dependency on government largesse. They grow government and raise taxes to put more people on Medicaid, to take work requirements out of welfare, and to grow the ranks of those who pay no taxes at all. Dependency is death to initiative, risk-taking and opportunity … It’s time for the party of big ideas, not the party of Big Brother!”
    8:43 pm I hate to be naive, but could we at least kind of not lie about your opponent’s positions? “Democrats want to use the slowdown as an excuse to do what their special interests are always begging for: higher taxes, bigger government and less trade with other nations.”
    8:44 pm Ouch: “And I have one more recommendation for energy conservation – let’s keep Al Gore’s private jet on the ground!”
    8:45 pm Well, good news if we elect McCain … “radical violent Islam is evil, and he will defeat it!” I was so worried … can we sue for false advertising if it turns out he can’t do it?
    8:46 pm Ooooff: “There’s never been a day where i haven’t been proud to be an American.”
    8:48 pm That speech was amazing. Who abducted Mitt Romney and replaced his brain with Newt Gingrich’s? I think he just staked out the Conservative right for 2012.
    8:52 pm I’m starting to get nervous. Sick to my stomach, but nervous.
    8:57 pm mike huckabee. he just called McCain his “second” choice for the nomination (behind himself, of course).
    8:58 pm Just thanked the “elite media” for unifying the republican party behind McCain and Palin.
    9:01 pm First props to Obama for being the “person of color” nominee.
    9:04 pm Good message point. “Barack Obama’s excellent adventure to Europe took his campaign for change to hundreds of thousands of people who don’t even vote or pay taxes here.”
    9:08 pm Biggest applause line of the night: “I’m not a Republican because I grew up rich, but because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life poor, waiting for the government to rescue me.” It’s going to take a long time for Dems to shake this image in middle America.
    9:14 pm Good line from Gov. Linda Lingle of Hawaii about the authenticity of Palin: “She will not be trying to reinvent herself during this campaign! She is who she is.” They are just daring the opposition to take her head on … sheesh.
    9:18 pm This is going to be tough … i the Dems don’t take Palin on, she gets a free pass. If the Dems do, then they are beating up on a girl. We are so screwed.
    9:22 pm Oh, God. Someone get Mrs. McCain a gay man. I didn’t know they *made* dresses in that color of florescent green. That being said, it’s the only thing that could have topped her gold dress that looked like it was made out of my grandmother’s drapes.
    9:32 pm Rudolpho Giuliani. Can you imagine his career if it weren’t for September 11th? I’m pretty sure, he wouldn’t be speaking at the Convention, that’s fer dern shure.
    9:34 pm He’s started off being quite conciliatory, but I can just feel the wheels getting ready to fall off the rationality bus.
    9:36 pm Another refrain the party is obviously pushing: “America comes first.” Fascinating in the number of nuances you can read into that.
    9:37 pm Sure Giuliani can rip on Obama’s Harvard education, but he’s ripping on him for being a community organizer?!?
    9:38 pm Did Obama really vote present at 100+ State Leg votes? “For president of the United States, it’s not good enough to be present.”
    9:39 pm Giuliani doesn’t know how good of a speech he has. He keeps looking surprised at each of the reactions he gets.
    9:41 pm Giuliani is such a good old boy. Audience is eating up all the condescension. Is the key to Conservatism about the promise that one day you might get the chance to be a good old boy?
    9:43 pm Best line yet (despite the poor delivery): “They would have you believe that this election is about change versus more of the same, but that’s really a false choice, because there’s good change and bad change. Because change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy.”
    9:44 pm “Drill, baby, drill” again. Is this a NIMBY thing? Repubs live in middle america, so they don’t care about drilling so long as it’s off the coasts of the Blue states?
    9:47 pm “For four days in Denver, the Democrats were afraid to use the words ‘Islamic terrorism.’ I think they believe it will insult someone. Please tell me, who are they insulting if they say ‘Islamic terrorism’? They are insulting terrorists.”
    9:50 pm “And I believe, ladies and gentlemen, when they gave up on Iraq, they had given up on America.”
    9:52 pm Israelies and Palestinians aren’t “morally equivalent” and some United Nations bashing. [Insert punchline here.]
    9:53 pm At least they recognize the problem: “Like Ronald Reagan, John McCain will enlarge our party, open it up to lots of new people.” [emphasis added mine.]
    9:55 pm Oiiff, that hurts: “She’s already had more executive experience than the entire Democratic ticket combined.”
    9:57 pm “One final point. And how — how dare they question whether Sarah Palin has enough time to spend with her children and be vice president. How dare they do that.” Who did this? Someone tell me the name of the Democrat who did this?!? Speeches should require footnotes.
    10:00 pm  More awful delivery, but good lines: “We’re the party that has expanded freedom from the very beginning, from ending slavery to making certain that people have freedom here and abroad … And we’re the party — and we’re the party that unapologetically believes in America’s success, a shining city on a hill, a beacon of freedom that inspires the world. That’s what our party is dedicated to.”
    10:02 pm Here come Palin, and she’s a’ wearin’ pink. Or is that a light taupe? Or is that lavender? Why the h-e-double-hockey-sticks did they put her in something that is even allowing me to think about this …
    10:05 pm Palin’s son (who’s service is being trotted out again) is deploying, to Iraq, on September 11th. There is no way we can win an election against these people.
    10:06 pm I’m going to hell, but i am not sure i can support a woman for elected office who named her children Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig.
    10:08 pm At least her flaunting of her special needs baby was a *little* less crass.
    10:13 pm More community organizer bashing, “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities.” I just don’t get it …
    10:18 pm This little gem is the byte I woke up to this morning on NPR (and my day never recovered): “Here’s a little newsflash for those reporters and commentators: I’m not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I’m going to Washington to serve the people of this great country.”
    10:23 pm Much better response to drilling (and certainly more subtle) than I had expected: “Our opponents say again and again that drilling will not solve all of America’s energy problems, as if we didn’t know that already. But the fact that drilling, though, won’t solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all.”
    10:26 pm More ouch: “But listening to him speak, it’s easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or even a reform, not even in the State Senate.”
    10:28 pm More comments I’d like to see the footnotes for: “America needs more energy; our opponent is against producing it. Victory in Iraq is finally in sight, and he wants to forfeit. Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay; he wants to meet them without preconditions.”
    10:30 pm She is trying incredibly hard to make McCain the candidate of change … “In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers, and then there are those, like John McCain, who use their careers to promote change.”
    10:32 pm I’m running out of nice things to say. “And though both Senator Obama and Senator Biden have been going on lately about how they’re always, quote, ‘fighting for you,’ let us face the matter squarely … There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you in places where winning means survival and defeat means death. And that man is John McCain.
    10:33 pm Another knock on community organizing.
    10:34 pm Apparently, It doesn’t count if you aren’t being shot at by foreigners: “And though both Senator Obama and Senator Biden have been going on lately about how they’re always, quote, ‘fighting for you,’ let us face the matter squarely … There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you in places where winning means survival and defeat means death. And that man is John McCain.”
    10:38 pm Objectively, a good speech … but I see the strength as energizing the base. Very aggressive against Obama, and (obviously) very positive about McCain, but I don’t think it will turn the undecided and there was very little on policy. There was a lot of mocking and condescension, and I don’t see how that grabs the independent, undecided middle.
    10:49 pm The more I think about this, there is no way she pulls disaffected dems. Big pull for the heartland, tho, but I don’t know how much of the heartland they didn’t already have.
    10:55 pm Gawd, I’m depressed.
  • live (mostly): oh, *that’s* why i don’t watch the democratic national convention …

    for some reason, i got a hankering this weekend to watch the dem’s convention … i also got a notion to do a triathlon, oddly enough, but that sounds much harder. maybe i’ll stick with politics for now, even though this certainly violates my prohibition on paying attention to the news.

    thursday night

    6:45 pm early start … and only CNN is covering so far. (resisting the urge to put my foot through the television.)
    6:55 pm tee-hee! gold medal winning u.s. olympic gymnast shawn johnson led the pledge of allegiance today. i don’t know why that makes me giggle, but it does.
    7:04 pm why couldn’t they have put civil rights legend rep. john lewis in prime time when someone would have seen him?
    7:11 pm and while we are asking stupid questions, what are the odds that obama’s acceptance speech would fall on the anniversary of the day m.l.k. gave his “i have a dream” speech?
    7:18 pm i just saw michael dukakis! no tank or helmet, tho. (booooo!)
    7:20 pm i hope u2 is getting royalties for each time “beautiful day” is played at the convention. they’d be like bajilionaires or something.
    7:36 pm oh, will.i.am. what have thou wrought?
    7:42 pm sheryl crow? dear god. i never thought i would say this … but i’d like a little more substance, and a little less wolf blitzer dancing.
    7:50 pm make. the. pain. go. away.
    7:58 pm “i cann seee cleeeeearly nowww the raiiiiiin has gonnnnne.”
    8:00 pm whew, pbs.
    8:10 pm i love when pols wave to the audience as if to recognize their cheers, but with no actual cheering … udall just left the stage as if he had sacked rome, and all to the sounds of crickets chirping.
    8:19 pm bill richardson looks, dare i say, statesman-like? well, except for the ferret that appears to have attacked his neck.
    8:26 pm we’ve got to lose this “take america back” message … too confusing from a party that keeps talking about moving us forward.
    8:38 pm the baylor bears are loosing (shocked, i say, shocked!) on the other tuner. no option but to watch stevie wonder.
    8:46 pm i *swear* i just saw Jin-Soo Kwon from Lost.
    8:52 pm gore got a great speech, but has the personality of a wooden plank. there was a glimmer there around the environment, but he couldn’t spin it into the traditional platform issues.
    8:56 pm jeez, al. slow down …
    8:58 pm al needs to go back to being an elder climate statesman … ugh.
    9:07 pm i know that michael mcdonald has a “core demographic” but i’m damned if i can figure out who that would be.
    9:17 pm an eisenhower at the dem convention? i can’t *wait* to see who the repubs dig up for theirs …
    9:22 pm you know, i’d think eisenhower and the generals were good enough to really make a difference … if i thought any undecideds were actually watching this convention.
    9:30 pm (yawn) isn’t someone important supposed to be speaking tonight? i want ice cream. speaking of, do you think that the ballpark vendors are working tonight? i’m guessing veggie burgers, freedom fries, and tofu ice cream. no! sushi, fruit smoothies and an organic espresso bar.
    9:36 pm okay, disadvantaged soccer mom just went off on “what has george bush done for me” and all i could think of was “ask not what your country can do for you…” jeez, i’m slipping into the abyss.
    9:38 pm now *there* is the message we want: “i voted for nixon, reagan, bush and bush — but i can’t afford four more years…”
    9:44 pm those average joes just changed the convention … who ever found them, wow. authentic. completely unforced. life just doesn’t get better than a crowd of 70,000 people chanting the name of someone they just met for the first time.
    9:47 pm the lady sparkler just finished her puzzle.
    9:52 pm watch out, folks. pbs commentator david brooks has started drinking the kool-aid.
    9:59 pm dick durbin is such a happy man. joey biden was just a happy man. *everyone* is happy, and (most importantly) not faking it. who’s party is this again?
    10:08 pm  is this what 1960 was like?
    10:09 pm … well, except the sixties probably had less u2.
    10:13 pm wide shot of the stadium, at capacity, with flashbulbs popping. awesomeness.
    10:19 pm “That’s why I stand here tonight. Because for two hundred and thirty two years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women — students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors — found the courage to keep it alive.”
    10:21 pm the convention is using the words “democrat” and “republican” too much. it’s got to turn away some centrists and moderates …
    10:25 pm okay, barack. we get it. time to stop going after McCain’s plans and start laying out your own …
    10:33 pm Better, thank you: “That’s the promise of America — the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother’s keeper…”
    10:38 pm No taxes: check. Energy independance: check. National service and higher education: check, check.
    10:42 pm Damn, he’s good. And he’s just getting warmed up. “We must also admit that programs alone can’t replace parents; that government can’t turn off the television and make a child do her homework; that fathers must take more responsibility for providing the love and guidance their children need.”
    10:44 pm The national security parts were, quite literally, perfect. “You don’t defeat a terrorist network that operates in eighty countries by occupying Iraq. You don’t protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can’t truly stand up for Georgia when you’ve strained our oldest alliances.”
    10:46 pm Keeps coming … “We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don’t tell me that Democrats won’t defend this country. Don’t tell me that Democrats won’t keep us safe.”
    10:48 pm Is the crowd chanting “USA, USA”? … I don’t think I have *ever* heard that one at a convention. “And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.”
    10:52 pm “I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don’t fit the typical pedigree, and I haven’t spent my career in the halls of Washington. But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don’t understand is that this election has never been about me. It’s been about you.”
    10:57 pm Unreal. I have no words. Crazy good.
    11:01 pm Big wins: going to be harder to cast him as soft, or as an aloof eastern liberal intellectual, and he made a solid play for the center.
    11:11 pm You know, he might just pull this off.

    wednesday night

    8:01 pm hillary moving to accept the nomination of barack obama by acclamation is a *really* nice touch. bravo, hillary (and her handlers), bravo.
    8:08 pm this notion of energy independence as an imperative to cut funding for “the terrorists” is a fascinating theme for the convention, and not one i was really expecting.
    8:16 pm the lady sparkler has given up and is doing a puzzle.
    8:26 pm why does Rep. Patrick Murphy have a men’s choir of secret service agents standing behind him?
    8:37 pm evan bayh?!? i *love* people named Evan … they are so smart, and handsome.
    8:40 pm note to senator bayh: if you are going to do an audience refrain, you need to wait for the audience.
    8:43 pm if i think evan is sexy, does that make me a monosexual?
    8:45 pm “We can no longer be divided into red states and blue states but must stand united as 50 red, white and blue states.” (groan…)
    8:53 pm in the movie of life, the Honorable Jack Reed (D-RI) would be played by William H. Macy.
    9:02 pm here he comes … jesus, bill. don’t screw up.
    9:06 pm four minute standing ovation. wow, we have a *very* short memory … has everyone forgotten the last 12 months?
    9:11 pm it’s like watching the Prodigal Son come home. jeez, he just exudes charisma.
    9:12 pm “Barack has the curiosity that every President needs.” wow, bill. now that you mention it, i think you needed a little less curiosity …
    9:15 pm “The world is always more impressed by the power of our example, than the example of our power.” Oh, Bill. I want to bear your children … hold me.
    9:24 pm *i love you, Bill!* i’m sorry i ever doubted you … take me back. please, take me back. (call me!)
    9:35 pm if we are dragging out john kerry, can michael dukakis be far behind? (ooo, and in his tank and helmet, please.)
    9:39 pm Is it just me, or does Kerry look positively gleeful to be asked to portray McCain as a flip-flopper? “Before he debates Barack Obama, John McCain should finish the debate with himself.”
    9:43 pm Did they just bring out Barack Obama’s white uncle?!? Oh no they didn’t!
    9:47 pm Note to Senator Kerry: Dude! Where was this four years ago? If you had showed this much spine in 2004, we’d be having a very different convention right now.
    9:59 pm Palace intrigue? How funny would it be if Bill Richardson got bumped because Bill Clinton went 10 minutes too long.
    10:04 pm  Quite a short film from Spielberg and Tom Hanks. Worth watching if they post it.
    10:20 pm Joe Biden’s dad told him that the reason we fall down is to learn to pick ourselves back up. I think that means he is Batman.
    10:31 pm For the record, I had no idea Joe Biden wrote the Violence Against Women Act. Now, I did know that he called Slobodan Milosevic a war criminal to his face …
    10:35 pm Get Grandma Biden’s face on a stuffed animal. Cutest. Celebrity Grandma. Ever. (Except for that “bloody the bully’s nose” story. Little scary.)
    10:44 pm Does anybody get it? If you do an audience refrain, you *must* wait for the audience. Come on, people. Please.
    10:52 pm Joey is going to be quite the pit bull. Between that and the international affairs background, Biden’s shaping up quite nicely. Wish he brought more than three electoral votes, tho.
    10:58 pm Awwww. And the DNC even sought fit to invite the nominee. Isn’t that sweet?
    11:01 pm All joking aside, I love it when the families crash the podium. If only they could select slightly less obvious music than “We are Family.”

    tuesday night

    8:01 pm first sign tonight is going to have a much different tone, from Gov. David Patterson of New York: “If McCain is the answer, the question must be ridiculous.”
    8:15 pm second sign tonight is going to have a much different tone, from Rep. Steny Hoyer of Maryland: “Eight years [after the start of the Bush administration], what do they have to show for it? Surpluses squandered, our national reputation tattered, jobs lost.”
    8:24 pm anna berger (Change To Win, SEIU) should be harnessed as a military weapon … her voice could shatter reinforced steel.
    8:51 pm is a mayor of fairbanks, alaska *really* the best republican the dem’s could dig up? (update: he’s actually the mayor of a borough of fairbanks, not even fairbanks proper…)
    9:06 pm Gov. Kathleen Sebelius (of Kansas) ain’t all that. She makes McCain look like a Baptist preacher. No way she makes national office, and would have been a *horrid* veep.
    9:17 pm Another refrain of “We can’t afford more of the same…” I’m sensing a theme, here. Not terribly original, but a theme none-the-less.
    9:26 pm It just dawned on me … Joe Biden is from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Dunder Mifflin is in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I’ve never seen Joe Biden and Andy Bernard in the same room. Coincidence?
    9:42 pm If Mark Warner’s jaw was any more square and rugged, it would be classified as a mountain range.
    9:50 pm Nominee for quote of the day: “When we look around today, we see … an energy policy that says let’s borrow money from China to buy oil from countries that don’t like us.”
    9:52 pm Now, *there* is the theme they need to keep hitting: “This election isn’t about liberal vs. conservative. It’s not about left vs. right. It’s about the future vs. the past.”
    9:59 pm Who wrote Warner’s speech? Damn, brother should get a raise …
    10:11 pm  Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA) just gave the third “shout out” of the Convention. We need to stop it with the “shout outs.” Pols just shouldn’t try to get “jiggy” wit da “lingo.”
    10:21 pm Is everyone on the planet from the southside of Chicago?!?
    10:33 pm The world needs more Brian Schweitzer’s in specific, and bolo ties in general.
    10:37 pm BWAHAHAH! The Hillary tribute video just featured Bill Clinton, and the only caption said “Hillary’s Husband.” Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
    10:41 pm I’ve loved Chelsea ever since that MTV inaugural ball where she gushed over Michael Stipe and 10,000 Maniacs.
    10:42 pm the lady sparkler is certain that Hillary’s had (at least one) face lift.
    10:52 pm Hillary just thanked “everyone in the 50 states, Puerto Rico, and the territories.” Damn it, D.C. get’s no love. *No* love at all.
    10:58 pm I (mostly) get the Hillary thing now. Once she got out of the thank you’s and into her stump speech, she became quite a speaker … and very eloquently told her supporters to stop yammering and get in line.

    monday night

    6:45 pm just started watching coverage on CNN.
    6:48 pm egads, it’s wolf blitzer! just stopped watching CNN. starting to watch “Family Guy” instead until convention coverage starts on PBS.
    8:05 pm i think that Jim Lehrer just referred to the next president of the united states as “beru.” as in, “aunt beru” from star wars. i don’t think that can be a good thing.
    8:22 pm early nomination for the most awkward moment of the convention: jimmy carter walks on stage, waves, walks off stage. you’d think if we trusted him with control of the nuclear football for four years, the dem’s would trusted him with a microphone for four minutes.
    8:33 pm second nomination for most awkward moment of the convention: somebody tell me why barack’s sister (Maya Soetero-Ng) wasn’t allowed to read her speech before she gave it.
    8:49 pm god, i love Jesse Jackson, Jr. now, only if his daddy would shut up.
    8:54 pm oh, that’s why carter wasn’t given a microphone … when asked by lehrer if obama had enough experience, carter said barack had more experience than he did when he was elected (ooof).
    9:16 pm carolyn kennedy taking the stage to the tune of “sweet carolyn.” i should be horrified by the cliche, but instead i’m getting my red sox garb.
    9:17 pm oh, god. why are they showing the kennedy’s at play on their yacht? are we trying to steal mccain’s $5-million-or-less middle class voters? let’s put him in a golf cart next, to seal the deal.
    9:27 pm ha! there’s the golf cart.
    9:33 pm damn, teddy looks and sounds good. can’t we find just one of the next generation of the kennedy clan who is fit for public office?
    10:04 pm   jim leach. glad he’s a republican. glad he supports obama. but, he sounds like kermit the frog.
    10:12 pm nominee for the soundbite of the evening from Leach: “This is not a time for politics as usual or for run-of-the-mill politicians. Little is riskier to the national interest than more of the same.”
    10:21 pm second nominee for the soundbite of the evening goes to Sen. Claire McCaskill of Missouri: “we’re not a red state. we’re not a blue state. we’re a united state.” (groan…)
    10:29 pm the lady sparkler is crying watching the michelle obama tribute video.
    10:37 pm the lady sparkler thinks michelle looks good. i’m a little nervous about her condi rice inspired hair cut.
    10:45 pm the lady sparkler is interested that “they” didn’t put michelle in a suit. i’m thinking she’s spoken in front of a crowd once or twice before …
    10:46 pm michelle spoke of military families saying grace with an empty place at the table for their deployed family. she’s gooood.
    10:47 pm … and *then* a shout out to hillary clinton. damn, that girl is crazy good.
    10:52 pm she’s got the entire audience in tears. i wish i had something snide to say, but i’m coming up a bit short … where is Cindy “20 year old face, 80 year old neck” McCain when you need her.
    10:58 pm one more nomination for most awkward moment of the convention: the satellite cameo by barack with his family. i know it was supposed to be cute, but *awkward*.

    man, i shouldn’t have watched … now i’m going to be really bummed when the republican machine rip the obama campaign to shreds.