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evancparker … the Olympic afterglow ends real quick when you realize we’ve been dumped into the last 90 days of a presidential election again.
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MartinCloake: Despite tonight, #olympics2012 have been great and restored my faith in Britain. I’ll treat tonight as a massive memory loss
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker … meh, I always liked the winter #Olympics better anyway.
11 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … is #kate on a date with #harry? #WTF #closingceremony
14 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … “when our time came, we did it right.” #HereHere #closingceremony #london2012
17 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … okay, I agree with the “wonderful city” bit. #london2012 #closingceremony #Olympics
19 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … pele. #DidntSeeThatComing #closingceremony #Olympics
23 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … #done. I’m now officially ready for #Rio2016. #closingceremony #Olympics
30 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “should I be following your tweets? what’s your name again?!?” #closingceremony #Olympics
35 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … still the best. cauldron. ever. #london2012 #closingceremony
36 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … wait, #Rio2016 ? #considerpants! #closingceremony #Olympics
40 mins ago Reply
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evancparker @oliviiadrrew @mynameiskels3y … I know ur parents, fwiw. 🙂
45 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “They’ve got something for everyone, so long as you’re old and white.” #closingceremony
45 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … #considerpants! #considerpants! #closingceremony
47 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … old white people #rock!!! #closingceremony #Olympics
49 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … just what I was thinking. #NeedsMoreFreddieMercury #closingceremony #Olympics
52 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … Monty Python = #awesome. Phil Collins = #awesomer. #closingceremony #Olympics (ht @mikedebonis)
58 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … how is it that #wonderwall is the bit that annoys me the least? #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … for a reunion, one of them should actually be singing, right? #SpiceGirls #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … which spice is which?!? #WTF #closingceremony #Olympics #SpiceGirls
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “Did they just say #SpiceGirls? Time to drink.” #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … awesome. #GlowInTheDarkBra #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “Wait, she doesn’t have any pants on?!?” #considerpants #JessieJ #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker RT @texasinafrica: Jessie J, it’s time to #considerpants.
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … what better sentiment than #money #money #money for the #closingceremony. #Olympics #awesome
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … sure, Fatboy Slim in inflatable octopus. why not?!? #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … Russell Brand as Wiily Wonka definitely makes as much sense as anything I’ve seen so far. #IAmTheWalrus #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … is “Wish You Were Here” a nice sentiment, or a curse? #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MoElleithee: Can’t wait for the Austin Powers tribute in the closing ceremonies!
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … Annie Lennox? i’m guessing old, dead white people are the target audience of this #closingceremony. #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … now hoping for “Life on Mars.” #closingceremony @MarsCuriosity #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … hoping for “Anarchy in the UK.” #SexPistols #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MoElleithee: Wow. So cool. It looks like they got George Michaels’ grandfather to sing at the closing ceremonies!
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “where did they find him!?!” #GeorgeMichael #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … wait, John Lennon was British? #closingceremony
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … dare I say #TeamUSA looks classy in all white? #WhereAreTheCowboyHats? #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … #MightyQuinn. http://t.co/szoMQyfU
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @texasinafrica: Many tweeps insisting that Stomp came from Brighton. Okay. But I find the idea of culture originating in Brighton a bit dubious.
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … my 4 mo. old (#MightyQuinn) just started bawling hysterically when One Direction took the stage. #MeToo #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “well, I have high hopes for Rio.” #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … @BBC_TopGear must have been ecstatic about the exploding Reliant Robin. #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “Brits are weird, Rory.” #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
Tag: Live Blog
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live: three day weekend of awesomeness
i took today off from work — hypotetically because it was my flex day, mostly so sparklet and i could go for a bike ride, but secretly so that i could blow through a dozen hours of olympic coverage (relatively) undisturbed.giggedy-giggedy.
live: the royal wedding
![[Tower of London, London, England, UK.]](/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/3511195741_5fa001e162.jpg)
why in god’s name am i awake?i know, i know. i read vanity fair’s the royal watch alarmingly regularly, have been known to read the delicious awfulness that is the daily mail, and get more news/programming from the bbc than i do from all the american networks combined.
so, it possible that i might be a bit of an anglophile. which, i guess, is exactly why i’m awake. and, so long as i’m up, i might as well live blog this thing.
4:59 AM the lady sparkler, last night, on why she wasn’t going to get up this morning: “i love london. i love scottish whisky. i named my daughter after the bride. i think that’s enough.” 5:01 AM looks like i have about 27 channels i can watch this thing on — hello, bbc america. 5:02 AM seriously — i can’t stand NBC during the olympics, how in god’s name could suffer through an American network covering the royal wedding? 5:13 AM the token “awkward american in the crowd” they just interviewed wasn’t quite as awkward as usual — the gods are truly smiling on the moment. 5:21 AM someone appears to have planted trees in the middle of the abbey. guess i should have gotten up a bit earlier, to hear that one explained. 5:33 AM there’s a corner of the abbey where they’re putting all the people under the age of 80, right? i mean, the bride and groom have to have at least one set of friends they slipped in under strict instructions to not get plastered and start dancing on the tables … 5:38 AM in case anybody was wondering, karin vogel is officially the last person in line for the british throne. sadly, she did not get an invite. 5:48 AM the queen looks great. charles looks old. isn’t that backwards? 6:03 AM totally missed the big wedding dress reveal because the kettle just went off. 6:09 AM need to redact my previous crack on the trees in the abbey. from the ground level, it’s actually quite lovely. 6:15 AM well played, kate. well played, pippa. ease up on the gold tassles there, boys. 6:20 AM “maawidge. maawidge is wat bwings us togethaaa, today.” 6:25 AM <sniff> i promissed myself i wouldn’t cry… </sniff> 6:33 AM they look tired — beautiful, but tired. 6:35 AM wedding sermons still make me squirm, at least those since a wedding i attended 10 years ago where the catholic priest droned on about “copulation” for 15 minutes. 6:41 AM sparklet’s awake. awake, and very confused why we’re watching something other than plaza sesamo. 6:52 AM so, are the people at the back of the church excited they actually got in the door or ticked that they’re not 35 yards farther back so the could watch it on the jumbotron in hyde park? 6:55 AM interesting, the queen doesn’t sing along to “god save the queen.” somewhat obvious in hindsight, i guess … 6:56 AM wait! how are they married if they didn’t kiss??? everything in the princess bride was a lie. 7:04 AM the lady sparkler is up. asked if the bride’s father was the one in the black suit. 7:10 AM my wife is beaming — at least until sparklet tripped, fell over, cried, dusted herself off, and started beating on her little bongo drum. 7:16 AM lovely. 7:19 AM my arm hurts from just watching them wave. 7:21 AM the queen looks ecstatic. hard to believe how much has change in the royal outlook from even just five years ago. 7:24 AM where do they store all the carriages, limousines and flags when there aren’t any royal weddings pending? i have so many questions. 7:36 AM um, the rather uncomfortable goth chicks with the crazy hats seated behind the queen during the ceremony were the children of Fergie, ex-Duchess of York. they just can’t catch a break, can they? 7:48 AM diana had such style — but the 80s were still the 80s, and (in hindsight) her wedding dress was really just plain dreadful. 8:03 AM we need more national holidays. are either of the obama girls old enough to get married yet? 8:12 AM commentator: “as a people we’re not childish, we’re not stupid. we know we have problems. but for one day, we live in the moment where we can celebrate our past, our future, and our political stability. there is a kind of wisdom found when you suspend cynicism. it’s a different kind of knowledge, but it’s a knowledge found in the innocence of a wedding day.” 8:21 AM they keep dragging the crazy people in the costumes on tv. hey bbc, stop encouraging these people. 8:31 AM they finally kissed — whew, that would have been awkward had they missed that part. 8:32 AM i’m pretty sure one of those 5-year olds in the doormouse costumes is actually taller than the Queen. 8:35 AM wills is a lucky, lucky man — but needs to get that girl a cheeseburger, stat. 9:42 AM in such a good mood. beautiful women should marry ugly, awkward men more often. what’s next … an earthquake?
well, after a brief return to normalcy, sparklet’s sleeping habits are back to being a royal pain in the rear. she’s fighting us going down, and isn’t usually staying down for long.at one point this week i stopped asking God for world peace, and started asking him to focus on letting me sleep.based on last night’s events, he wasn’t amused:
- 8:20 pm — after 40 minutes of trying, sparklet is finally asleep … but not until a full hour after her bedtime.
- 8:35 pm — ha, ha! just kidding, we’re awake.
- 9:52 pm — seriously, sparklet. go to sleep. i walk in and she is sitting upright, but listing deeply to the side because she can’t keep her eyes open.
- 10:28 pm — the lady sparkler finishes up pumping, and we bunk down for the night.
- 1:10 am — it’s morning in babyland! the lady sparkler takes the first shift and stuffs a bottle in her face.
- 1:25 am — the lady sparkler runs out of steam, and the hollering gets me up and out of bed. i take over.
- 1:38 am — oops, looks like sparklet’s wet through her diaper! and now, after 25 minutes of feeding, she’s wide away and not the least bit interested in taking a bottle and/or going to bed.
- 2:10 am — after tipping sparklet over for the umpteenth time (i swear she would try to sleep sitting up if we’d let her) she’s out, and i start for bed.
- 3:01 am — i’m just about asleep when i get a call from a friend who is due to birth a baby girl in a couple of weeks. my heart leaps like a gizelle. turns out she hit the wrong button on her phone. false alarm.
- 4:14 am — i’m just about asleep when sparklet’s up again, but (haha!) this time she is sound asleep once again by the time i get to the crib. funny.
- 5:01 am — i’m rattled awake when an earthquake strikes suburban maryland. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP.
- 5:30 am — just about asleep (for the first time since 1:10am) i remember to shut off my alarm so that i can squeeze an extra couple of minutes of sleep in the morning.
- 6:58 am — the lady sparklet wakes me up to tell me that i don’t need to get up. (still figuring that one out.)
- 7:20 am — i give up and go to work.
there you go. independent proof that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. at least, not about sleep vs. world peace.
live: opening ceremony for the vancouver winter olympics
It’s the most wonderful time of the Olympiad, and while I’m not exactly where I thought i would be right now (e.g. marooned in Austin waiting for DC to thaw) I’m still clearing as much of my calendar as i can for the Games. Thank God i had the sense to setup my TiVo before I left for Austin.A few thoughts about tonight’s Opening Ceremony:
5:42 pm Wait, Jim Carrey is Canadian? 6:13 pm Is Lindsey Voss’ shin the new Dwight Freeney’s ankle? 6:38 pm Lindsey Jacobellis is never going to live down that awful, showboating mistake from Torino. I hope she gets a gold, just to shut the media up. Seriously, people. She was like 14. People make mistakes. 6:44 pm Wait, Michael J. Fox is Canadian? 6:44 pm Wait, Ryan Renolds is Canadian? I’m sensing a theme to my posts so far … 6:45 pm Wait, Erick McCormack? Kim Cattrall? I feel like the Canadians are an alien species, walking among us … unknown, undetected. 6:50 pm If I could rip on the new version of “We Are the World” without being a callow, heartless bastard … I would. 7:02 pm The opening ceremony starts with an video, which (*surprise*) ends with the virtual snowboarder actually *entering* the stadium. Who saw that coming?!? 7:05 pm This is going to be a long, cheesy night. 7:07 pm Rocky and Bullwinkle has completely ruined my ability to look at the Royal Canadian Mounted Police with a straight face. 7:08 pm Wait, Canada has a military? 7:09 pm “O Canada” as a jazz ballad? Thank God there are no fundamentalist, patriotic Canadaians … else there would be rioting in the streets of the Canadian heartland tonight. 7:18 pm After the dance-inspired welcomes from the Aboriginal nations of Canada, who else was looking for the English tribes to dance in with tea, and the French tribes to dance in with pea soup? 7:39 pm It might have been the editing, but Georgia didn’t get quite the standing ovation that i was expecting after that horrific accident (the footage of which NBC has now shown three times in the last two hours). 8:12 pm The U.S. enters, looking not quite as jingoistic as i was expecting. Is this a reflection of the post-Bush humility? 8:19 pm Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams. Insert your own punchline here. 8:33 pm Giant spirit bear emerges from the floor. Giant spirit bear is hungry. Giant spirit bear will now eat the dancing gnats before it. Mmmmmmm. 8:37 pm As screwed up as the United States is, at least we don’t count Sarah MacLachlan as one of our national treasures. 8:53 pm Tap-dancing, neo-punk wearing fiddle-players with sparklers coming out of their shoes. Now there is a stereotype of Canada that I missed somehow. 9:12 pm Canada has a beat poet. They found him on YouTube. I wish I was making this stuff up. 9:15 pm Maybe it’s too soon for perspective, but all the memorials for Nodar Kumaritashvili (the aforementioned Georgian slider) seem really forced. I wish they had found one really poignant way to remember him, instead of sprinkling in lots of superficial attempts. 9:33 pm Wow. k.d. lang. I didn’t know she was Canadian, but I’m really glad to know she’s not American. 9:39 pm Hey, i just *knew* Anne Murray would get dragged out before too long. Wayne Gretsky’s got to be next. 9:58 pm Gretsky. Spoke too soon. 10:00 pm One of the four pillars of the Olympic cauldron didn’t make it out of the floor, so one of the four torch bearers (Steve Nash) get’s screwed. Shouldn’t one of the other three bearers invited him over to “help” light their pillar? So sad. 10:07 pm Even worse, Wayne Gretzky gets to light *two* cauldrons? Now I feel REALLY bad for Steve Nash. 10:09 pm Who thought five minutes of Wayne Gretzky carry a torch on the top of a pickup truck was good television? 10:15 pm It’s over. It wasn’t great, but at least it didn’t feature thirty-six pickup trucks full of cheerleaders roaring around the stadium. PHOTO: Courtesy of Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/7658796634_dcb393850e.jpg)
the time when our global attention turns to overly-earnest featurettes on athletes overcoming adversity, when we look for horrible commentary by television announcers pressed into service to describe a sport they know nothing about, when jingoism is not just tolerated but encouraged, and when even bob costas becomes annoying.
it’s NBC’s coverage of the greatest sporting event on the planet.