theparkerfamily.org

Tag: Olympics

  • live: paralympics

    NBC must be trying to eek every last penny out of their $4.38 billion contract with the IOC, because (for the first time ever, that i know of) they’ve decided to air bits of the paralympics this year. all the same great sports as the “other” oympics, just commentary that’s even worse.

    15 Mar 14 … #sparklet is visibly upset that a girl “has” to ski down the mountain with only one leg. #Paralympics
    15 Mar 14 … if there is anything more awesome that a snowboarder going down the slope with two prosthetic legs, I don’t want to know. #Paralympics
    9 Mar 14 … wicked impressed by #Paralympics downhill seated monoskiers. #damn
    8 Mar 14 … fwiw, a guide goes down 20 feet in front of the blind skier, and barks out instructions. #EPIC #ParalympicsVirgin (2/2)
    8 Mar 14 … I’m quite literally watching “visually impaired” downhill alpine skiing. #OMG #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … this POV Of A Guy On Gymnastic Rings Is Better Than The Whole #Olympics, via @digg http://t.co/2WCaT4BiWw
    8 Mar 14 … am I the only one who associates Russian folk music with @billyjoel? #yeah #sorry #nevermind #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … the #Olympics wouldn’t license the #Paralympics their five rings? seriously?!? #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … I love how Russians will applaud wildly for anybody who speaks their language without butchering it. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … I seriously can’t imagine what is running through #Putin’s head right now. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine
    8 Mar 14 … turns out the #Paralympics involves athletes w/ a range of disabilities, including mobility, amputations, blindness, and cerebral palsy.
    8 Mar 14 … #Ukraine just got a standing ovation at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. I honestly don’t know what that means.
    8 Mar 14 … oy, #teamUSA for the #Paralympics still has to wear those horrible Polo christmas sweaters. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … cynicism aside, this is actually pretty awesome. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … sled hockey? #awesome #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … not sure how to say this, but there are more people walking during the parade of nations than I would have thought. #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … #fyi, the commercials aren’t any better during the #ParalympicsWinterGames.
    8 Mar 14 … “In Russia, it’s not typically a part of their culture to express joyousness.” #ParalympicsWinterGames #NBCFail #commentatingexcellence
    8 Mar 14 … wonder if the rings will open. #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … Putin looks a little stressed. Wonder if everything is okay at home. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine
    8 Mar 14 … hmmm, making people stand for the national anthem has a different context at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. #ParalympicsVirgin
    8 Mar 14 … if @NBCOlympics brought the “B” team to the #Sochi2014 closing ceremonies, who did they bring to the #Paralympics? #nottheAteam
    8 Mar 14 … “Sports and politics do not mix.” #paralleluniverse #iwanttolivethere #ParalympicsWinterGames
    8 Mar 14 … interesting. The talking head on the #ParalympicsWinterGames says there is tension between #Ukraine and Russia. #whoknew?
    8 Mar 14 … am I the only one watching the Paralympic opening ceremony? #yeah #okay #thatsfine #bastards #ParalympicsWinterGames

  • live: end of the sochi olympics

    24 Feb 14 … #okayimdone. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I had some nice things to say about NBC’s coverage this year, and then they have to go and poop on it on the last night. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I have no idea what’s going on. aren’t there supposed to be educated and engaged commentators to help me? #Sochi2014 #NBCFail
    24 Feb 14 … interesting that NBC shows clips from US v RUS hockey, instead of that game against Finland. #whitewashing #selectivehistory #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I love that Korea was given explicit instructions on how to tie their scarves so that the 2018 logo is clearly visible. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … yes, Cris, a 350 year old Russian ballet is exactly like Phantom of the Opera. #evendennismillerwouldbeanimprovement #Sochi2014 #nbcfail
    24 Feb 14 … okay, Chris Collingsworth officially needs to #shutthehellup. #Sochi2014 #nbcfail
    24 Feb 14 … where is Putin’s girlfriend? must have shown “too much personality” at the opening, #hmmm #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … kids choirs make everything awesomer. except “Kidz Bop.” that $&%?s rank. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … damn, I love the Russian sense of humor. #ringfail #Sochi2014 http://t.co/sc3lFA27Km
    24 Feb 14 … in my head, I have an image of Posner taking Remnick out back and kneecapping him, thus saving the world from his commentary. #Sochi2014
    24 Feb 14 … I know watching is morally wrong, and that I’m losing brain cells as I speak, but this Nancy/Tanya special is #cracktastic. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I fundamentally dislike Sidney Crosby’s smirk. #TeamCanada #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … am I a horrible person for just assuming they’ve slept together, at least once? #IceDancing #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I tried to make it through this “gala” without drinking, but it’s just not going to happen. #alcoholnumbsthepain #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … frankly, I’m ready to watch something with significantly less inspiring commercials. #sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … just realized that Tara and Johnny’s comb over braids this week were a political statement in support of Yulia Tymoshenko. #sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … every time I see a Lindsey Jacobellis commercial, I involuntarily get a condescending pouty sad-face and think sad thoughts. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … I hereby declare you a horrible human being if you weren’t teary by the end of the Jessica Long story. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … okay, NBC is actually pretty damn good at puff pieces. #Sochi2014
    23 Feb 14 … tho I was single parenting a 2 y.o. at the time, the @NBCOlympics special on Lokomotiv was pretty incredible. #Sochi2014 #NBCFTW
    22 Feb 14 … just found a stash of old mix tapes. based on the song selection, I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve ever known, dated or married.
    22 Feb 14 … how soon until NBC packages #Ukraine protests with olympic gold win, and sets it to the theme from “Terms of Endearment?” #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … has there always been this much country swapping at the #Olympics? #seemslikecheating #sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … what’s the thematic antonym for Miracle on Ice? #floptothefinns #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … conspiracies aside, looks like the math adds up. #Sotnikova #Sochi2014 via @nytimes http://t.co/3t9YOVC0T6
    22 Feb 14 … can we stop blaming the speedskating suits now?!? #Sochi2014 http://t.co/KKoRTxPaow
    22 Feb 14 … p.s. Ashley needs to shut it because transparency wasn’t the thing keeping her off the podium. #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … speaking of jackasses, Ashely Wagner is horrible but she’s right about transparency. #stillshutup #Sochi2014 http://t.co/o23bTNIiz7
    22 Feb 14 … well, turns out the penance for winking at the camera in the start house is to win gold. #imgoodnow #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … they’ve got to be so psyched to be skiing on something that kinda sorta actually resembles snow. #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … btw, I missed you guys. #dontgetthefluduringtheolympics #Sochi2014
    22 Feb 14 … is that the same speed skater from GBR that keeps falling down? #Sochi2014
    21 Feb 14 … oh well, at least @DukeU lost last night. #Sochi2014 #USAvsCanada

  • live: bobsleds, snowboards, angst, and bob costas’ eyeball

    17 Feb 14 … I never thought I’d be happy to have Matt Lauer back, but here we are. Thanks for that, Meredith. #Sochi2014
    17 Feb 14 … the snowcross course is bucking so many riders, the commentators aren’t even bothering to point them out as they go down. #Sochi2014
    17 Feb 14 … is #Sochi2014 actually trying to kill off all their snowboarders?
    17 Feb 14 … I want to be the fat guy in the back of the bobsled. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … each time I turn away from the tube, #TeamUSA scores another goal. so, I’m going to stop watching. #USAvsSLO #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … Rebecca Lowe and Al Trautwig should never share the same screen. It creates a vortex of emotions that shreds my soul. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … seriously, I can’t see the #FACup through the glare from Mitt Romney’s teeth.
    16 Feb 14 … with two kids, a wife, and a 60-hour a week job, I’m fully caught up on @NBCOlympics coverage. how is that possible?!? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … the flirting between Rebecca Lowe and Al Michaels shouldn’t make me as happy as it does. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … in a #curling battle between Canada’s shirts and Norway’s pants, who wins?!? #NOBODY #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … South Korean speed skaters aren’t any less annoying when wearing Russian uniforms. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … yup, definitely the suits. #7thPlace #11thPlace #22ndPlace #37thPlace #TeamUSA #speedskating #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … we’re blaming the suits now? seriously?!? #yourejustold #speedskating #TeamUSA #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … so glad an Austrian skier is saving the cheetahs, because if she won’t then who will?!? #sigh #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … It’d be awesome if one of these Russians popped off their helmet and was Edward Snowden. #luge #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … twenty years from now, I’ll be having nightmares about turns 5 and 11. #luge #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … the #olympics aren’t the #olympics without @SamuelLJackson live tweeting the whole thing. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … my wife on her comment on Meredith Viera: “I hope that shows up on NBC’s social media monitoring in the morning.” #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … my wife on Meredith Viera: “ugh, I can’t stand looking at her cheeks. look, I can’t wiggle my face!” #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … I don’t care how bad you think Matt Lauer is, Meredith Viera is worse. #BobCostasForever #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … short track should only be a sport in futuristic, post-apocalyptic blood sport movies. #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … where does all USOC’s money from McD’s and Coke go, if not to keep Olympians off food stamps?!? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … I’m nominating Elise Christie for saddest #Olympics appearance of 2014. #speedskating #tivo #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … Sweden wearing white, Korea wearing yellow, USA wearing black. did nobody look at their flags before they got dressed? #Sochi2014
    16 Feb 14 … #ohdeargod, how did no one think of team relay luge before this #olympics?!? #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … Vladimir Posner, I missed you. don’t ever leave me again. #ColdWarNostalgia #NBCFTW #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … “ya, you’d never dream of this type of drama for a team up by three in the final end. it’s amazing. it’s something you just don’t see.”
    15 Feb 14 … so glad that I’m watching #USAvsGER curling. they’re definitely not making the sport look, um, easy. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … the Midwestern-nice commentators for #USAvsGER curling sound like their calling a JV game. sadly, they’re right. #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … every event should have guns. cross-country, with guns. ski jumping, with guns. figure skating, with guns. #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … power-watching #TiVo’e #olympics coverage, making up for the past week’s silly distractions like work, wife, and kids. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … after falling for the #Olympics and the Mahre bros in Sarajevo, #Sochi2014 is a little hollow w/o an American man on the Alpine podium.
    15 Feb 14 … teeth per capita seems to be much higher for #TeamUSA. #GoUSA #USAvsRUS #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … this game was so much more epic when they were the Soviets. #USAvsRUS #ColdWarNostalgia #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … I have no idea who I’m rooting for. #USAvsRussia #RussianStudiesMajor #StockholmSyndrome #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … hey, hippie. pull up your pants. #TiVo #slopestyle #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … and the Al Trautwig award for most over-wrought commentary goes to whoever the hell is calling the women’s luge. #Sochi2014
    15 Feb 14 … nice to see the USA + South Korea speed skating mutual admiration society continues. #Grrrr #Sochi2014 #TiVo
    15 Feb 14 … I’m deeply confused how Russia men’s hockey didn’t beat Slovenia by double digits. I’m guessing they are too. #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … drinking Cuba Libre’s, hold the cola. and, now that you mention it, don’t worry about the lime either. or the glass.
    14 Feb 14 … if/when I train for the #olympics, I’m brining sand toys so #mightyquinn can play in the long jump pit. @noellepikuspace #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … oh, Evgeni. nobody should have to go out that way. #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … how is it a false start if no one actually crosses the start line? #speedskating #Sochi2014
    14 Feb 14 … Matt Lauer, has he found — gravitas? #BattlefieldPromotion #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … Once again, American women are cleaning up the mess left by American men. #halfpipe #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … goldpants the pirate. #wow #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … so USA and Canada don’t like each other any more? that hockey match was brutal. #thoughttheywerenice #eh #52ndState #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … women’s ski jumping is awesome. lots of happy athletes. shame it took 16 years to happen. #tivo #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … apparently success getting TV commercial deals does NOT equate to success getting medals at the #olympics. huh. #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … kinda surprised there’s better halfpipe conditions on Pennsylvania Ave than in Sochi. #DC2024 #Olympics
    13 Feb 14 … #sparklet has named her favorite stuffed animal “Sochi.” #FTW #Sochi2014
    13 Feb 14 … wonder if the Russian homophobe police are patrolling the men’s double luge event. #lookssuspicious #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … mad props to the American fans at the sliding venue. #jingotastic #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … for the record, even 3 minutes and 31 seconds of Al Trautwig is too much. #FireAlTrautwig #CrossCountryDeservesBetter #Sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … Matt’s not bad. certainly better than watching Bob and trying desperately to avoid eye contact. #blegh #sochi2014
    12 Feb 14 … having a hard time getting into the #olympics spirit tonight. #figureskating #flyingtomato #sadpanda #Sochi2014

  • live: first weekend of the olympics

    11 Feb 14 … Costas, drinking vodka: “tomorrow morning I’ll wake up on a curb in Minsk.” #NBCFTW #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … omg, there is a vodka museum in Moscow. #ofcoursethereis #whereelsewoulditbe #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … finally, @nbcolympics did a human interest story truly worthy of my attention. on vodka. #NBCFTW #Sochi2014 http://t.co/0E7KH8XNnn
    11 Feb 14 … bronze medalists everywhere should learn how to celebrate 3rd place like julia mancuso. #awesome #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … slalom: when bouncy sticks attack. #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … this #Olympics, the commentators are (largely) warm and compassionate. what are you up to, NBC?!? #soconfused #isthisthecbc? #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … would love to have witnessed the brainstorm that led to j.c. penny’s “when it fits, you feel it” tag line. #srsly #Sochi2014
    11 Feb 14 … one thing I did not miss in the last 3.9 years: the US v South Korea short track speed skating rivalry. #ugh #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … I’m starting to feel that last 46 hrs of #Sochi2014 coverage, tho it’s admittedly easier when 30% are prime time re-airings. #goodnight
    10 Feb 14 … benefit of tape, delay #Sarka is fine but split her helmet open. #Sochi2014 http://t.co/VGHEMVUAud
    10 Feb 14 … video of American Bill Johnson winning Downhill Gold, Sarajevo 1984. #sochi2014 http://t.co/IktV6bkWnD
    10 Feb 14 … oh, Bode. #dude #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … if you want to love women’s hockey, watch the third period of Russia v Germany from this morning. #greatstuff #liveextra #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … #murica, where the boys are named Sage and the girls are named Ty. #slopestyle #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … women’s Olympic soccer > men’s Olympic soccer. women’s slopestyle > men’s slopestyle. #truth #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … my wife has pink eye. Bob Costas has pink eye. coincidence? #ithinknot #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … I desperately want to say something dark and cynical about Meryl and Charlie’s moms, but I’ve got nothing. #squeeee #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … jesus, Putin. stand and clap. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    10 Feb 14 … dear. holy. god. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … my 4 y.o. is downhill skiing through the house. #Sparklet #FTW #Sochi2014 http://t.co/cS36Eddyl0
    9 Feb 14 … anybody know if I should watch ice skating now, or will NBC just make me rewatch it again tonight in prime time? #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … since when did the French get good with guns? #NoSurrender #Biathlon #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … this #Olympics my 4 yo has learned to ID the US flag, and to be sad when one isn’t on the leaderboard. #dropthemic #sparklet #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … women skiing with guns is good. #FredSavage #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … Al Trautwig must be blackmailing NBC, with the 379 times they’ve re-aired the same two #crosscountry races. #FireAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … I love you guys, @texasinafrica @MoElleithee. even more than I love @NBCOlympics, err, I mean, #Olympics.
    9 Feb 14 … turns out Team Russia thinks it should be illegal, too. http://t.co/6RIlbUpD4K #crosscountry #sochi2014 (2/2)
    9 Feb 14 … seems like running over someone else’s skis to prevent them from finishing before you should be illegal. #CrossCountry #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … i have literally lost track of what i’ve watched before and what @NBCOlympics is re-airing for the 24th time. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … despite all the #nbcfail’s, the deference @NBCOlympics is giving to Johnny Weir’s clothing choices is noble and awesome. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … luge is awesome. skeleton is awesomer. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … @NBCOlympics’ interview w/ Hannah Kearney last night was excruciating. maybe talk to the Canadians about what they did right? #NBCFail
    9 Feb 14 … please DM me your deets so that I can, um, thank you appropriately. love, your biggest fan. #NBCFail #Sochi2014 (2/2)
    9 Feb 14 … dear NBC programming director. thank you for saving all of your original programming until after 1am. #Sochi2014 #nbcfail (1/2)
    9 Feb 14 … making mental note to never stay at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. #subliminalprogramming #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … would love to meet the inventors of #moguls and to have been there when they pitched their idea to skiers the first time. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … as I near my 20th Olympiad, I feel comfortable saying that Americans aren’t very good losers. #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … athletes are people who make hard things look easy. #Lipnitskaia #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … “I’ve never even tried that trick before.” #thingsyouneverwanttohearduringanolympicsinterview #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … I wish I could enjoy slopestyle, but all I can think about is that someone’s gonna kill themselves. #toobig #toohard #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … go after those twizzles! #ihavenoideawhatimdoing #Sochi2014
    9 Feb 14 … there is a Canadian ice dancer named Virtue? I wonder what their stripper name is. #Sochi2014

  • olympic cross-livingroom skiing

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  • live: opening ceremony of the 2014 winter olympic games

    Giant horses are seen during the opening ceremony of the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

    It’s that time of the year again, where I clear my couch, lock my self in the basement, and leer at my family when they try and take the remote from my hands. In short, exactly what I need to revise the soul.

    And for those of you with narrow views of social media, I’ll be live tweeting most of the olympics over here on Twitter. Come on in, the water is warm.

    9 Feb 14 … WOULD YOU LET THE %$&£?!ng SNOWFLAKE GO?!? #nbcfail #nbcfail #nbcfail
    9 Feb 14 … DOT regulations require 4 hours of rest for every 12 hours of #olympics watching. #WhatdImiss #BesidesAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … skiing, now with 100% more guns! #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … this is the 3rd time @NBCOlympics has aired the women’s skiathalon today. is there nothing else happening in #Sochi2014 today? #wtf
    8 Feb 14 … when I was fifteen I could barely walk. #Lipnitskaya #FTW #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I think the commentators have a different definition of “glaring mistake” than I do. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I love thinking of ice dancing as having a blood sport rivalry. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … so, if I eat at @McDonalds every morning will I become an #olympics champion, too? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Evgeni skating to “Roxanne” from Moulin Rouge was kinda awesome. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “No one picks their wax better than Norway, huh, Chad?” #FireAlTrautwig #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … the first voice I heard this morning was Al Trautwig’s. #deargodwhyhaththouforsakenme #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “The first rule about smiling at Russians is do not smile at Russians.” #Sochi2014 cc: @texasinafrica http://t.co/OhhyzizLmk
    8 Feb 14 … I don’t remember ever thinking there wasn’t enough ice skating in previous Olympics. So, why did we add another event? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … that slope style course is a %£*^?ng monster. reason number 437 I’m not an athlete. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Bob Costas’ desk looks something from a Bond villain’s lair, making him #EVIL?!? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … running through the cast was a nice, nice touch. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … it’s cute how Matt thinks that Putin sleeping around with #olympic athletes somehow undermines his awesomeness. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … #Sochi2014 commercials are so much better than the crap I watched during the Super Bowl.
    8 Feb 14 … oooo, swan lake. nice touch. shoulda seen that one coming, tho. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … seriously, though. this is pretty and all, but where is the caravan of cheerleaders in white pickup trucks?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … remnick is giving Matt’s YOLO comment a run for its money. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … comparing the Russian Revolution to the next commercial break. #commentatingexcellence #NBCFail
    8 Feb 14 … there’s obviously no epileptic people in Russia either. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … SOME of the greatest ballet dancers? no, sweetie. Russia gave us ALL of the greatest ballet dancers. #falseequivalence #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … yup, no gay men in Russia. move along please. nothing to see here. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “We went up to the moon. What’d we get? Bored.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … it’s easy to forget how much better Russia is at theatrics than the rest of the world. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … don’t worry, Russia. every great country goes through an awkward French phase. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … #TeamUSA has #RussianUniformEnvy. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … so, is Putin’s ex-wife pissed, or relieved? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … really, Matt. is that what YOLO stands for? #commentatingexcellence #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … big win of the games so far? reintroducing me to bad Russian techno. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Putin: “Thank you, Ukraine, for coming. So we can crush you.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … there is no problem a little jingoism can’t solve. #TeamUSAoutfit #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … OMG, WHITE PANTS AFTER LABOR DAY?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “smile and wave, boys. smile and wave.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … madly preparing “jingoistic Christmas sweater” snipes for #TeamUSA’s arrival. #shootingfishinbarrel #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … I’m proud to have represented Nepal at the 1987 ODU Model UN conference. #REPRESENT #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Meredith and Matt are now officially in a race to see who can be more culturally insensitive. #NBCFail #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … god, I love the Russian national anthem. makes ours sound like a drinking song. #ohwait #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … remnick, you’re making baby Jesus cry. be a force for good. don’t give in to Matt and Meredith. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … corn mowing machines. #olympicmoments
    8 Feb 14 … I hope that there will be 20 white pickup sticks stuffed with cheerleaders. #olympicmoments #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … do you think there will be a shout out to socialized medicine? #olympicmoments
    8 Feb 14 … do you think that maria sharapova could afford to pay someone to dress her better? my rates are incredible affordable. #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Obama looks like he’s on Skype. #SochiProblems #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … during Salt Lake 2002 did Matt and Meredith spend this much time talking about terrorism and U.S. human rights abuses? #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … Bob, yesterday didn’t happen. Stop trying to make yesterday happen. #HallmarkHoliday #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … is now the time to mention that I was a Russian Studies major? I’m lying. My diploma actually says “Post-USSR Studies.” #Sochi2014
    8 Feb 14 … “it begins on the edge of the western world.” #cryingalready #justkidding #noreally #Sochi2014
    5 Feb 14 … are unfinished rooms “appalling conditions?” I’m guessing @washingtonpost doesn’t cover disasters, poverty, or elections. #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … 35 minutes of #Olympics coverage, and I’ve already heard four pronunciations of the word Sochi. #hireafactchecker #alreadysucking
    5 Feb 14 … BREAKING NEWS: Al Trautwig was NOT taken out back and shot for his London 2012 #Olympics gymnastics commentary. #FireAlTrautwig
    5 Feb 14 … what made me think that watching an #olympics preview infomercial called “Winter Gold” wouldn’t be horrible?!?
    5 Feb 14 … retired athletes turned commentators are proof that the hardest part of acting is knowing what NOT to do with your hands. #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … Apollo Anton Ohno bantering with Gracie Gold is #ohmygod #soawkward. #alreadysucking #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … women’s ski jumping just got 12 seconds of coverage, and 6 of it came from a @NBCOlympics promo. #alreadysucking #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … must be insane to be the grandfather of your sport, and be just 27 years old. #theflyingtomato #olympics
    5 Feb 14 … dear @NBCOlympics, this year #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck. thank you.

  • live(ish): olympic aftermath

    as of the end of the closing ceremony, i was only about 50 hours behind in my olympics coverage — which, frankly, is a record. i’m typically still clearing through the last few days of events long after people have forgotten they even occurred.

    • evancparker… p.s. has NBC’s Animal Practice been canceled yet?!? #GodIHopeSo #Olympics

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… damn, I didn’t miss NBC’s shoddy editing of the #Olympics. wonder if I can move out of the country before #Sochi2014. #TivoDelay

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    • evancparker… #Sparklet just said she wants to watch the #Olympics. so proud. and so happy I still have 5 hours banked on ye ole TiVo.

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    • evancparker… 9 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and holy crap this women’s boxing thing is for realz. #DidntGetTheMemo

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    • evancparker… still 16 hours of #Olympics coverage left on my tivo, and race walking looks like a scene from a Will Farrell movie.

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 20 hours of #Olympics left, and I swear all of it is platform diving. ps. the divers’ towels are stupidly small. wtf?!?

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 48 hours after the #Olympics concluded, and I’m not missing Ryan Seacrest at all. #Nope #NotEvenALittle #NuhUh

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 31 hours of #Olympics left, but in case you forgot the gymnastics commentators are still #Harpies. #FireElfiSchlegel

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker… 39 hours of #Olympics left. i’d lose my gourd as a handball goalie if getting scored on “just” 26 times was considered good. #Brutal

      5 days ago Reply

    • evancparker … 42 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and my 2 y.o. (#Sparklet) wants to watch nothing but rhythmic gymnastics. #GodHelpMe

      5 days ago Reply

  • live: closing ceremony

    it’s not over — i’ve got 52 hours of coverage stacked up on my Tivo — but it’s close enough for government’s sake. or, olympics sake. oh, yes. the closing ceremonies.

  • live(ish): the final weekend

    we’re getting close to the end — well, at least the rest of the world is. i’m already 40+ hours behind in my coverage, and my TiVo is starting to struggle under the weight of the 8-10 hour episodes that are backing up on the hard drive.

    the good news is that if i fast forward through any sport with mean, uninformed, or inane commentary then i should be caught up in no time.

  • found: not impressed

    []

  • found: cracktacular

    []
    I really have no idea what this is, but my wife is disturbingly attractive as a gymnast…

  • live: olympics, week two

    i always start falling behind in the second week. intentions to watch 21+ hours of coverage a day, however good, start to wear thin in the face of other priorities — like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom.

    thank god i have two years until the winter games in Sochi to catch up.

  • found: olympic watchers

    []

  • live: three day weekend of awesomeness

    i took today off from work — hypotetically because it was my flex day, mostly so sparklet and i could go for a bike ride, but secretly so that i could blow through a dozen hours of olympic coverage (relatively) undisturbed.

    giggedy-giggedy.

  • brainwashed

    []

  • live: olympics, week one

    going back to work is, well, awkward.

    the first day back during the olympics is always the worst, facing a tivo still full from the weekend and another 16 hours that taped while you were away. the “good” news is that NBC’s coverage is just as hyperbolic and manic-depressive as ever.

    time to catch up.

  • live: the first weekend

    i’ve cleared my weekend.

    well, other than you know having a toddler, having a new born, having a wife, probably having to work a little, but other than that i’m glued to the tube. and the computer. and the ipad. and the iphone.

  • live: london 2012 opening ceremony

    []
    it’s that time again.

    the time when our global attention turns to overly-earnest featurettes on athletes overcoming adversity, when we look for horrible commentary by television announcers pressed into service to describe a sport they know nothing about, when jingoism is not just tolerated but encouraged, and when even bob costas becomes annoying.

    it’s NBC’s coverage of the greatest sporting event on the planet.

    19:32 first “uplifting” montage of athletes. of the 2012 olympics. oh, yes. it’s on.
    19:39 i can almost smell the vaseline smeared all over their camera lenses.
    19:44 Matt Lauer needs a toupee.
    19:49 the mighty Quinn keeps wailing every time Meredith Viera comes on the air.
    19:55 look, it’s Hobbiton!
    19:58 what are these random rugby videos from? How are they going to get that meadow out of the stadium again? Why am I “afeared”? I have so many questions.
    20:04 honoring the decline of the pastoral-agrarian society? These Brits sure know how to parrrrtay.
    20:05 more breakdancing men in top hats, please!
    20:08 britain: we’re the country that brought you smokestacks.
    20:09 wonder what the random bloke in Sheffield thinks about his outcry right now.
    20:13 a friend of mine described this production as “crack-tastic.” I honestly don’t know that goes far enough.
    20:15 okay, the waterfalling fireworks from the Olympic rings was a pretty nice visual. Make a note: first compliment came 45 minutes in.
    20:18 first annoying Visa commercial. Wonder how many times we’ll see that in the next 18 days.
    20:23 would love to know who pitched the idea of jumping out of a helicopter with James Bond to the Queen. Oh, to be a fly on thaaaat wall.
    20:25 come on Queenie, smile.
    20:33 nothing says “Britain” like Tubular Bells and socialized medicine.
    20:35 OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY SPELLS OUT NAIONAL HEALTH SERVICE.
    20:39 Voldemort: the capstone of 400 years of British literature.
    20:41 we could have saved ourselves 6 movies if someone had just told Harry Potter that Voldemort was scared of Mary Poppins.
    20:45 my wife totally called that Chariots of Fire was coming.
    20:48 … but not Mr. Bean. Didn’t see that one coming. Nope.
    20:55 the Olympics are celebrating 40 years of air headed British teens. Awesome.
    20:59 Meredith and Matt needs to remember this isn’t actually the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.
    21:08 do you think the Queen knows what “Frankie Says Relax” means?
    21:13 the Brits created the interweb? I thought Al Gore did?!?
    21:14 oh, David Beckham. You’re so cute, at least when your lips aren’t moving.
    21:31 awww, I like the Aussies.
    21:33 my wife just suggested I do a blog post on Olympic commercials that are better than the opening ceremonies. Talk about a race to the bottom.
    21:39 is it a sign of Stockholm syndrome to say I’m optimistic for the 2016 opening ceremonies in Rio? I mean, the whole thing will be just half naked women dancing, no?
    21:50 new game: drink every time Bob Costas says something inane.
    21:52 I already can’t feel my face.
    21:54 get Djubuti on the floor toniiiight.
    21:59 my wife is talking international fiscal policy which, coincidentally, is more interesting than the parade of nations.
    22:12 kudos to Nike for their “other” London ad. Good stuff.
    22:20 on Wikipedia wondering what happened to Netherlands Antilles.
    22:32 the Mighty Quinn is out. Mommy is out. I’m watching St. Kitts march in. Where did my life go wrong?!?
    22:43 if I hear Bob Costas say one more time how “fast” this is going… Pow.
    22:58 Idi Amin joke, really? Ouch. Too soon.
    23:07 so nice to see team USA in something other than cowboy hats (which, ironically, we’re worn by Russia instead).
    23:09 feeling pretty bad for Team Great Britain and their gold lamé track suits — oif.
    23:12 Thank god for Kate Middleton, because the Queen seems surgically unable to smile.
    23:16 totally forgot about he flame. Not sure I’m going to make it.
    23:18 some one shut Bob Costas up before he insults another country.
    23:46 Paul McCartney and the cauldron lighting finally had the stuffy decorum I expected from this opening ceremony.
    23:46 the flame is awesome and all, but someone is going to get disqualified in the javelin for not clearing the cauldron in the middle of the field.
    23:48 is “hey, Jude” the national anthem or something? Just saying’.
    23:52 i hate forced audience participation.
    23:54 ILOVEYOULONDONGOODNIGHT!

  • 18?

    []
    in all the once-every-four-year world cup craziness, i’ve been struggling to keep up with the second-final-in-three-years boston celtics, even though admitting this publicly probably gives my father heart palpitations.

    in the interest of full disclosure, while i sucked every last drop of enjoyment out of the celtic’s championship run in 2008, i didn’t give them much chance to win *any* of their playoffs series this year (vs. miami, cleveland and orlando) and am still not sure they’ve got an advantage in the finals (even though they only need to win one of their next two in L.A. to claim their 18th championship banner).

    And so, I’ve tacked on 6 hours of daily world cup coverage to my after hours NBA responsibillities, not to mention I’ve still got tape of the winter olympics left on my tivo from February.

    somebody’s gotta win something, because i need my life back.

  • travel: salt lake olympics

    []
    with my well known obsession for the Olympics, I just couldn’t imagine being so close to an Olympic site and not checking it out.

    (although I have been to Vermont two dozen times and haven’t managed to make it to Lake Placid — a mere two hour drive west.)

    i’ve been to Atlanta’s Centennial Olympic Park, to Melbourne’s Olympic Stadium, and had near misses with Canada Olympic Park in Calgary (drove by, but couldn’t stop) and Sydney Olympic Park (saw it from the air, but only had 18 hours on the ground).

    Utah Olympic Park was home to 14 of the 28 events in the 2002 Olympics, including all the sliding events (bobsled, skeleton, luge) and the jumping events (ski jump, Nordic combined).

    at the park, a multiple-sport Olympian (one of them for ballet skiing, apparently) took us around to the five venues, and Terry Kent (sliding venue announcer for the last three Olympics) talked us through what it was like in Vancouver.

    great experience. stunning views.

    it was mainline-ing the Olympic experience to someone who’s already an Olympic junkie … something tells me it’s only going to make things worse.

    See All the Photos on Flickr:
    travel: salt lake olympics, utah

  • the olympics so far …

    [Vancouver Olympic Centre -- Photo Courtesy Chase N. via Creative Commons]

    while the rest of the world is watching the closing ceremonies, the lady sparkler and i still way back on day 9 (ski-jumping). i have watched every single medal event so far, but that approach has pretty much ruined any chance of finishing up before april.

    here’s my olympics so far:

    alpine skiing — definately my favorite olympic sport, ever since i snuck out of bed as a 9 year-old to watch the mahre brothers during the 1984 olympic games in sarajevo. i’m a little over Lindsay Vonn’s shin, but glad she (and Bode Miller) both picked up a win as nothing is worse than seeing nbc sports commentators blabber after watching their network-picked olympic stars fall flat on their faces.biathlon/cross-country — fire al trautwig. seriously.

    curling — what the bejezus happened to the u.s. olympic curling teams this year? what is the point of having minnesota and wisconsin in the union if they can’t produce decent curlers?

    figure skating — the men’s program was more flamboyant than ever, and i am seriously still trying to wrap my head around the thinking behind Johnny Weir’s pink corset number. i have no idea if he is gay, but if he is, the GLBT community needs to give him a lifetime award for “worst contribution to stereotypes by a gay man.”

    ice dancing — normally, this is my place to slam ice dancing … but you know what? it’s better than pairs ice skating. at least the result wasn’t determined by who fell down the least. i’m all for going out and giving it your best, but if the programs have gotten so hard that only *one* pair can make it through the whole thing intact … maybe it’s time to rethink things.

    freestyle skiing — moguls. i would love to hear the backstory behind the creation of this sport. pound your knees into your jaw a dozen times, pause for a flippy-twisty thing, more pounding, more flippy, more pounding. i’ve got a wide view of sports, but this seems more inline with bush-era interrogation techniques.

    luge — i’m pretty sure this is the first time i’ve ever had the “honor” of watching doubles luge. all i can say is that you’ve got to really, really like your partner.

    short track speedskating — watching this year has made me realize that i have developed an unhealthy dislike south korean athletics. it started back in 2002 with the reaction to their speedskater Kim Dong-Sung getting disqualified for cutting off Apollo Ohno, and made worse during the FIFA World Cup that summer when a goal-scorer (forget which one) celebrated the tie-ing goal by pretending to speedskate.

    actually, it may date back to 1988 when South Korean boxer Park Si-Hun was given the bout over American Roy Jones, Jr., despite Jones out punching Park 86 to 32 … though at least during *that* controversy Park later apologized to Jones for the loss. anyway, the animosity lives on.

    skeleton — i’ve got an idea … luge isn’t dangerous enough, so let’s do it head first.

    ski jumping — every olympics has to have a sport that’s like the equivalent of watching paint dry. what really trips me out is that determining the winner by distance jumped isn’t enough, they have to use some utterly uncomprehesible, esoteric artistic judging to make sure it is completely unwatchable for the average lay person. oh, and if i hear Simon Ammann refered to as the “Harry Potter of ski jumping” one more time … pow! right in the kisser.

    snowboarding / snow-cross — i’ve got to admit, i’m all about the snow-cross thing … any even which sends four people down the same course at the same time (rugby-style) is what i call a sport. i’m not looking forward to 2014 however, because Linsey Jacobelis fell *again*, which means we have to endure another four years of “redemption” coverage.

    snowboarding / half-pipe — i eat this stuff up, and it’s a great addition to the olympics. that said, two small complaints:

    (a) i saw the coverage of shaun white face planting on the pipe edge at least two dozen times, which was about three dozen times more than i needed to.

    (b) the tricks are becoming so ridiculous — the Double McTwist 1260 involves two flips and three and a half spins — that it’s near impossible for the naked eye to figure out what’s going on. either nbc’s got to figure out how to telestrate these things, or we need to go back to the days where a backside 540 was the shiznit.

    between travelling for work next week — not to mention a baby — i’ve got no clue when/how i’m going to get through the rest of the olympics, but i’ve got two years before i need to clear off the tivo for the London olympics.

  • fire al trautwig

    it’s winter olympics season at the sparkler household, and that means it’s time to get angry and the god-aweful commentary for olympic sports. here are some of my favorites:

    for some, this morning started with agony and shock.

    someone had fallen off the cross-country track.

    these are biathlon fans. they know when to cheer … when the target is hit!

    piercing insight there, friend.

    spillane looks solid for the gold if he can stand up right here. spillane’s got it … america breaks through!

    actually, spillane did *not* get it. in all the jingo-istic excitement, the commentator seems to have missed that a frenchman came in first.

    in the previous three olympics, this man has left with nothing but the memories.

    … nothing besides a gold medal.

    we have a deep russian team. then, the americans. then, the russians … that’s your trilogy.

    russians, americans, russians. yup, that’s three.

    he’s a bit the germaphobe … always taking purell around with him. he doesn’t drink except for the occasional swig of cognac to cleanse his mouth of germs.

    tmi. not quite to the clintonian/jacksonian/woodsian level, but seriously … he can sleep upside down in a hyperbolic chamber, and it’s none of my/our/your business.

    i wish i could just blame NBC as a whole (and i may later) but each one of these linguistic “gems” was said by the same man … NBC olympic commentator al trautwig.

    if the name sounds familiar, it should.

    he is the same #*&%$ who brought you grotesquely over-wrought commentary for NBC’s gymnastics coverage in Beijing (including his 2008 pièce-de-résistance, lamenting “a catastrophe of epic proportions” when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine).

    seriously, NBC … you’ve paid $3.5 billion for the rights to cover the Olympics since 1999, so maybe it’s about time you read the founding principles of the Games:

    The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

    i don’t think it’s much of an exaggeration to say that mr. trautwig’s over-wrought hyperboles are undermining the very games he’s covering.

    exiling trautwig from gymnastics to cross-country/biathalon coverage (while quite the statement about his perceived worth) isn’t enough. the problem is, he doesn’t have the commentary skills to cover little league matches in the Parkersburg, West Virginia.

    if he’s under a contract you can’t get out of, let me suggest you transfer him to KXGN in Glendive, Montana. as a parking attendant.

  • live: opening ceremony for the vancouver winter olympics

    It’s the most wonderful time of the Olympiad, and while I’m not exactly where I thought i would be right now (e.g. marooned in Austin waiting for DC to thaw) I’m still clearing as much of my calendar as i can for the Games. Thank God i had the sense to setup my TiVo before I left for Austin.

    A few thoughts about tonight’s Opening Ceremony:

    5:42 pm Wait, Jim Carrey is Canadian?
    6:13 pm Is Lindsey Voss’ shin the new Dwight Freeney’s ankle?
    6:38 pm Lindsey Jacobellis is never going to live down that awful, showboating mistake from Torino. I hope she gets a gold, just to shut the media up. Seriously, people. She was like 14. People make mistakes.
    6:44 pm Wait, Michael J. Fox is Canadian?
    6:44 pm Wait, Ryan Renolds is Canadian? I’m sensing a theme to my posts so far …
    6:45 pm Wait, Erick McCormack? Kim Cattrall? I feel like the Canadians are an alien species, walking among us … unknown, undetected.
    6:50 pm If I could rip on the new version of “We Are the World” without being a callow, heartless bastard … I would.
    7:02 pm The opening ceremony starts with an video, which (*surprise*) ends with the virtual snowboarder actually *entering* the stadium. Who saw that coming?!?
    7:05 pm This is going to be a long, cheesy night.
    7:07 pm Rocky and Bullwinkle has completely ruined my ability to look at the Royal Canadian Mounted Police with a straight face.
    7:08 pm Wait, Canada has a military?
    7:09 pm “O Canada” as a jazz ballad? Thank God there are no fundamentalist, patriotic Canadaians … else there would be rioting in the streets of the Canadian heartland tonight.
    7:18 pm After the dance-inspired welcomes from the Aboriginal nations of Canada, who else was looking for the English tribes to dance in with tea, and the French tribes to dance in with pea soup?
    7:39 pm It might have been the editing, but Georgia didn’t get quite the standing ovation that i was expecting after that horrific accident (the footage of which NBC has now shown three times in the last two hours).
    8:12 pm The U.S. enters, looking not quite as jingoistic as i was expecting. Is this a reflection of the post-Bush humility?
    8:19 pm Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams. Insert your own punchline here.
    8:33 pm Giant spirit bear emerges from the floor. Giant spirit bear is hungry. Giant spirit bear will now eat the dancing gnats before it. Mmmmmmm.
    8:37 pm As screwed up as the United States is, at least we don’t count Sarah MacLachlan as one of our national treasures.
    8:53 pm Tap-dancing, neo-punk wearing fiddle-players with sparklers coming out of their shoes. Now there is a stereotype of Canada that I missed somehow.
    9:12 pm Canada has a beat poet. They found him on YouTube. I wish I was making this stuff up.
    9:15 pm Maybe it’s too soon for perspective, but all the memorials for Nodar Kumaritashvili (the aforementioned Georgian slider) seem really forced. I wish they had found one really poignant way to remember him, instead of sprinkling in lots of superficial attempts.
    9:33 pm Wow. k.d. lang. I didn’t know she was Canadian, but I’m really glad to know she’s not American.
    9:39 pm Hey, i just *knew* Anne Murray would get dragged out before too long. Wayne Gretsky’s got to be next.
    9:58 pm Gretsky. Spoke too soon.
    10:00 pm One of the four pillars of the Olympic cauldron didn’t make it out of the floor, so one of the four torch bearers (Steve Nash) get’s screwed. Shouldn’t one of the other three bearers invited him over to “help” light their pillar? So sad.
    10:07 pm Even worse, Wayne Gretzky gets to light *two* cauldrons? Now I feel REALLY bad for Steve Nash.
    10:09 pm Who thought five minutes of Wayne Gretzky carry a torch on the top of a pickup truck was good television?
    10:15 pm It’s over. It wasn’t great, but at least it didn’t feature thirty-six pickup trucks full of cheerleaders roaring around the stadium.

    PHOTO: Courtesy of Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.

  • i love hope solo, and harry redknapp, and not necessarily in that order…

    after a lovely Saturday of belated anniversary present shopping (we settled on a one-third off console table from pottery barn) the lady sparkler and I settled in for a long evening at home … watching two-month stale coverage of the Beijing Summer Olympics.

    a couple things, looking back two months:

    • it’s been at least a week since I had heard any one say “michael phelps,” which made me wonder if he had fired his agent considering his best post-Olympic gig has been for Rosetta Stone.
    • It seems like (back then) John McCain actually ran ads that weren’t entirely focused on trashing Barack Obama. heck, August was so long ago that I didn’t even know that MILF had a political context.
    • I once again contemplated changing my celebrity exception clause to be U.S. Olympic indoor volleyball team silver medalist Logan Tom, but quickly realized I am already married to some one who can kick my @$& so what would the point be?
    • Whichever Olympic scheduler put synchronized swimming, canoeing, water polo, and rhythmic gymnastics in the same four hour block should be fired … or shot.

    • I got to thinking about politics, the economy and my 401k, and actually got nostalgic for a minute, thinking “wow. that was a simpler time, wasn’t it?!?”. yeah, way back in august.

    so, back to the present. much of our weekend was spent on the couch watching soccer.

    the taped USA vs. Brazil woman’s gold medal match was one of the best this year. goalie hope solo (I heard she is Han Solo’s niece) pitched a shut out over 120 minutes, making her world cup benching last year — and USA’s subsequent 4-0 drubbing at the hands of Brazil — that much more inexplicable.

    but perhaps the best news of the weekend came from the English premier league, where my team (Tottenham Hotspur) finally won their first game after nine attempts (that, and the midnight firing of the entire management structure.) while the win wasn’t enough to get them out of last place, they are now just one win away from a once unthinkably-good 15th place. (weeee!)

    to be fair, Tottenham could have actually been the second best news of the weekend … the best may have been the news that the Anchorage Daily News endorsed *Obama,* saying something about “putting her one … heartbeat from the leadership of the free world is just too risky at this time.”

    in the words of conservative blogger Andrew Sullivan, the Anchorage Daily News editorial board is obviously filled with “goddamn East Coast elitist hippies.”

  • a surprise of epic proportions

    i have to share… right now, if you google “nbc gymnastic commentators,” the search results feature my rant about the Olympic coverage from earlier this month as result #7. if you google “a disaster of epic proportions,” i’m result #5.

    i don’t think i have ever been this cool in my life.

  • wait, the olympics aren’t over yet …

    unlike the rest of the world, the Olympics aren’t wrapping up this weekend for the lady sparkler and I.

    we’re only 200+ hours into the coverage, and have a solid 80 hours still to be watched on our tivo. (i know 200 hours sounds like a lot, but remember that one third of the coverage was commercials, and i swear another 20% was rowing or handball.)

    from what i have heard, every one seems to think that the games were a solid “A+” for China, and so far I absolutely to agree.

    unfortunately, i have started to hear some rumblings that the Olympics are starting to lose meaning. common talking points include:

    the Olympics are from a more simplistic time — Since the 1972 Madrid crisis, national politics have mattered nearly as much as the sporting events themselves, and this year the games were held in China despite their miserable human rights record.

    the Olympics promote rampant nationalism — there was an obsession about the total medal count (USA vs. China), an “our country is better than your country” measure if there ever was one. NBC’s coverage was pro-American to the point of being jingoistic (except for gymnastics, which was pro-Chinese once Al Trautwig finally shut up about the age of their women).

    maybe there is some truth to this, but it seems to me that this is a bit simplistic. each of us watch the Olympics and take away exactly what we want to:

    the internationalists see a great coming together of cultures to promote cooperation and understanding. the nationalists see a chance for us to prove our dominance in yet another arena. mommy-figure liberals see a reason to break out the kleenex box. daddy-figure conservatives see a reason to spend 2 weeks exploring the other 236 channels on their television.

    george w. bush sees a chance to be relevant (and human) again.

    sure, the coverage could be better. sure, the little sports (high jump, javelin, shooting) should get their due compared to the big sports (diving, beach volleyball, track). sure, tivo should be able to record all seven olympic channels at once and should be able to record more than 86 hours of coverage at once.

    but, in the end, it’s been a kick-butt two weeks … even ignoring Michael Phelps (which a dark, hidden side of me was trying to do after medal five or so). i discovered a version of the Star Spangle Banner doesn’t sound like the British drinking song that it is. i discovered that the Chinese know how to party, and are freaky good at coordinated dance moves.

    but, most poignantly, i discovered (finally) why every field hockey player i ever knew could crush me with their pinkie.

  • the olympics so far

    [Photo]
    National Aquatics Center aka Water Cube, originally uploaded by vivelavodka.

    a couple of observations from seven days of olympic coverage so far:

     

    • archery — these bows have technology that rivals most nuclear missle silos. where are the purists that are complaining about the competative advantage of the new swimming suits?!?

     

     

    • badminton — i some how managed to watch the u.s. lose all four of their competitions, and wasn’t able to muster much interest after that.

     

     

    • beach vollyball — i swear. i am rooting for the men’s teams as much as the women’s teams. really. i promise.

     

     

    • cycling — the woman’s road race was held in the worst rain storm i have ever seen. at one point towards the end, you couldn’t tell if they competitors were on a bicycle or a kayak.

     

     

    • equestrian — dressage (the sport of walking a horse around a ring) is the most ridiculous “human” competition i have ever seen. they should give the medals to the horses, not the people holding up the top-hats.

     

     

    • fencing — absolutely addictive. so far, this my curling for the beijing olympic games. bonus: the bulky outfits that the competitors wear helps “prove” that my interest in beach volleyball and field hockey have nothing to do with their sexy outfits.

     

     

    • field hockey — awesome. i never knew this sport existed, outside of seeing girls at my high school in their pleated skirts. the worst player for worst team could put me in a hospital with their pinkie. that’s my kind of sport.

     

     

     

     

    • shooting — my first “cheer out load” moment came when an american snagged the bronze in trap shooting. unfortunately, it happened to be while i was “multitasking” at work.

     

     

    • soccer — the men flamed out in the group stage, the women have advanced to the medal rounds. it’s nice to know that some things never change for the u.s. national teams.

     

     

    • table tennis — despite all of nbc’s attempts to glamorize this sport, it’s still ping-pong. it will *always* be ping-pong. except it doesn’t have beer. (not a good thing.)

     

     

     

    the serious winner from the olympics so far is the divine marriage of my tivo to the lady sparkler’s HD tv. it’s amazing how much difference the high-def “experience” actually makes, and (more importantly) how quickly you can watch a 24 hours worth of Olympic coverage when you “tivo” out the fluff pieces, the commercials, and the awful commentary…

  • nbc’s gymnastics commentators: a disaster of epic proportions

    just finished up the olympic women’s gymnastics team all-a-round competition … and we are *done* with the manic-depressive rantings that spew from nbc’s gymnastics commentators.

    update: for 2012’s NBC gymnastics coverage — live commentary is here, or follow on twitter.

    some snapshots:

    • when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine, it was a “a catastrophe of epic proportions.”
    • when an men’s gymnast fell off the apparatus: “High bar 101, grab the bar.”
    • apparently, japan and romania’s women “don’t show the proper respect for the olympics” by enjoying themselves on the gym floor, and they would be ultimately unsuccessful because they were “unfocused” (romania went on to medal).
    • they won’t shut up about the age of the chinese gymnasts, saying at least three times that “nothing more need be said” about the controversy (if they would only *heed* this themselves).
    • when the chinese started their final routine: “Pick your measure of pressure and multiply it by one point three billion.”

    really, people. they weren’t negotiating a peace treaty. they weren’t transporting nuclear waste. this is a sport. frankly, Sacramone going to have all sorts of undeserved shrink bills even without your drama queen commentary. (we still love you, alicia…)

    turns out that we aren’t the only haters. their are tons of nasty commentary about NBC’s lousy commentary.

    anyway, we’re using the mute button from here on out.

  • where are the pick-up trucks?

    [Photo]
    2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony by cavenli2008.
    i love the olympics, and have ever since the 1984 Winter Games in Sarajevo. i was nine, and sick at home, and my parents put a 2-inch portable black and white tv in my room, and i watched the games just about 24 hours a day.

    but the olympic moment i remember the most? it was the summer of 1996, and i was in moscow for a summer abroad program.

    it was horrifying.

    i missed much of the games, but happened to check into a moscow hotel during the opening ceremonies. we walked into the lobby, where a handful of russians were gathered around a tiny black and white green television.

    suddenly, on the tv a fleet of pickup trucks roared into Atlanta’s Olympic Stadium, with their truck beds filled with scantily clad cheerleaders. the russian men started howling, and we were looking for any rock, log, or carpet to crawl under.

    not an olympic ceremony goes by that i don’t marvel at how little culture our young nation actually has.

  • melbourne olympic stadium

    [Melbourne Olympic Stadium]
    with an apparent genetic predisposition to sneaking into sports venues, the lady sparkler and I talked our way into the Melbourne Olympic Stadium today.

    being an Olympiphile (sounds dirty, huh?) I wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to checkout a venue, and so I led us on a walk around the city that “conveniently” went past the stadium.

    unfortunately, it’s now a private training venue.

    not to be denied, I marched right up to the security gate and proceeded to barrage the (60+, toothless) lady with how honored i was to be at the Stadium, how incredible the 1956 games were, how I reveared Australian national icon (and three time Melbourne gold medalist) Betty Cuthbert, and how important the games became when they were the first to allow all the atheletes enter the closing ceremonies together (as opposed to marching in by country).

    needless-to-say, she was confused by my knowledge and excitement which it became obvious that, as she stammered to keep up, she didn’t share.

    (what I neglected to tell her was that I had watched a two hour documentary on the Melbourne Olympics on the flight over … details, details.)

    finally, I assume out of boredom or desparation, she waved us through and asked us not to wander too far.

    and while the stadium itself doesn’t look too different from the track at my college, seeing the same venue from the documentary (only less scratchy, and less black-and-white) was incredible.

    not that i need an excuse to Become more obsessed with the Olympics, but it’s nice to have one regardless.

    See All the Photos on Flickr:
    melbourne olympic stadium

  • Travel: Atlanta, Georgia

    [Photo]
    ECPA20071105_0880, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    I went down to Georgia on Monday and Tuesday, for a donor metrics conference hosted by the American Cancer Society. I was on the ground for less than 36 hours, so didn’t have much time to get out … but I walked around Centennial Olympic Park for a few minutes Monday evening.

    It was quite lovely, but I can see why there was so much criticism about the 1996 Altanta Olympics for being so horrifically commercial. Everything in the park — and I mean everything — had a corporate sponsor on it: bricks, plaques, buildings, statues, etc. I can’t imagine what it would have been like when lined with 100s of booths representing a patheon of corporations preying on the American consumer culture.

    Explore the Photo Set:
    Travel: Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta, Georgia, USA