Tag: Activities | Gymnastics
-
live: paralympics
NBC must be trying to eek every last penny out of their $4.38 billion contract with the IOC, because (for the first time ever, that i know of) they’ve decided to air bits of the paralympics this year. all the same great sports as the “other” oympics, just commentary that’s even worse.
15 Mar 14 … #sparklet is visibly upset that a girl “has” to ski down the mountain with only one leg. #Paralympics 15 Mar 14 … if there is anything more awesome that a snowboarder going down the slope with two prosthetic legs, I don’t want to know. #Paralympics 9 Mar 14 … wicked impressed by #Paralympics downhill seated monoskiers. #damn 8 Mar 14 … fwiw, a guide goes down 20 feet in front of the blind skier, and barks out instructions. #EPIC #ParalympicsVirgin (2/2) 8 Mar 14 … I’m quite literally watching “visually impaired” downhill alpine skiing. #OMG #ParalympicsVirgin 8 Mar 14 … this POV Of A Guy On Gymnastic Rings Is Better Than The Whole #Olympics, via @digg http://t.co/2WCaT4BiWw 8 Mar 14 … am I the only one who associates Russian folk music with @billyjoel? #yeah #sorry #nevermind #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … the #Olympics wouldn’t license the #Paralympics their five rings? seriously?!? #ParalympicsVirgin 8 Mar 14 … I love how Russians will applaud wildly for anybody who speaks their language without butchering it. #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … I seriously can’t imagine what is running through #Putin’s head right now. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine 8 Mar 14 … turns out the #Paralympics involves athletes w/ a range of disabilities, including mobility, amputations, blindness, and cerebral palsy. 8 Mar 14 … #Ukraine just got a standing ovation at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. I honestly don’t know what that means. 8 Mar 14 … oy, #teamUSA for the #Paralympics still has to wear those horrible Polo christmas sweaters. #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … cynicism aside, this is actually pretty awesome. #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … sled hockey? #awesome #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … not sure how to say this, but there are more people walking during the parade of nations than I would have thought. #ParalympicsVirgin 8 Mar 14 … #fyi, the commercials aren’t any better during the #ParalympicsWinterGames. 8 Mar 14 … “In Russia, it’s not typically a part of their culture to express joyousness.” #ParalympicsWinterGames #NBCFail #commentatingexcellence 8 Mar 14 … wonder if the rings will open. #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … Putin looks a little stressed. Wonder if everything is okay at home. #ParalympicsWinterGames #Ukraine 8 Mar 14 … hmmm, making people stand for the national anthem has a different context at the #ParalympicsWinterGames. #ParalympicsVirgin 8 Mar 14 … if @NBCOlympics brought the “B” team to the #Sochi2014 closing ceremonies, who did they bring to the #Paralympics? #nottheAteam 8 Mar 14 … “Sports and politics do not mix.” #paralleluniverse #iwanttolivethere #ParalympicsWinterGames 8 Mar 14 … interesting. The talking head on the #ParalympicsWinterGames says there is tension between #Ukraine and Russia. #whoknew? 8 Mar 14 … am I the only one watching the Paralympic opening ceremony? #yeah #okay #thatsfine #bastards #ParalympicsWinterGames -
live: opening ceremony of the 2014 winter olympic games
It’s that time of the year again, where I clear my couch, lock my self in the basement, and leer at my family when they try and take the remote from my hands. In short, exactly what I need to revise the soul.
And for those of you with narrow views of social media, I’ll be live tweeting most of the olympics over here on Twitter. Come on in, the water is warm.
9 Feb 14 … WOULD YOU LET THE %$&£?!ng SNOWFLAKE GO?!? #nbcfail #nbcfail #nbcfail 9 Feb 14 … DOT regulations require 4 hours of rest for every 12 hours of #olympics watching. #WhatdImiss #BesidesAlTrautwig #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … skiing, now with 100% more guns! #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … this is the 3rd time @NBCOlympics has aired the women’s skiathalon today. is there nothing else happening in #Sochi2014 today? #wtf 8 Feb 14 … when I was fifteen I could barely walk. #Lipnitskaya #FTW #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … I think the commentators have a different definition of “glaring mistake” than I do. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … I love thinking of ice dancing as having a blood sport rivalry. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … so, if I eat at @McDonalds every morning will I become an #olympics champion, too? #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Evgeni skating to “Roxanne” from Moulin Rouge was kinda awesome. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … “No one picks their wax better than Norway, huh, Chad?” #FireAlTrautwig #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … the first voice I heard this morning was Al Trautwig’s. #deargodwhyhaththouforsakenme #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … “The first rule about smiling at Russians is do not smile at Russians.” #Sochi2014 cc: @texasinafrica http://t.co/OhhyzizLmk 8 Feb 14 … I don’t remember ever thinking there wasn’t enough ice skating in previous Olympics. So, why did we add another event? #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … that slope style course is a %£*^?ng monster. reason number 437 I’m not an athlete. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Bob Costas’ desk looks something from a Bond villain’s lair, making him #EVIL?!? #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … running through the cast was a nice, nice touch. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … it’s cute how Matt thinks that Putin sleeping around with #olympic athletes somehow undermines his awesomeness. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … #Sochi2014 commercials are so much better than the crap I watched during the Super Bowl. 8 Feb 14 … oooo, swan lake. nice touch. shoulda seen that one coming, tho. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … seriously, though. this is pretty and all, but where is the caravan of cheerleaders in white pickup trucks?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … remnick is giving Matt’s YOLO comment a run for its money. #NBCFail #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … comparing the Russian Revolution to the next commercial break. #commentatingexcellence #NBCFail 8 Feb 14 … there’s obviously no epileptic people in Russia either. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … SOME of the greatest ballet dancers? no, sweetie. Russia gave us ALL of the greatest ballet dancers. #falseequivalence #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … yup, no gay men in Russia. move along please. nothing to see here. #GayingUpSochi #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … “We went up to the moon. What’d we get? Bored.” #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … it’s easy to forget how much better Russia is at theatrics than the rest of the world. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … don’t worry, Russia. every great country goes through an awkward French phase. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … #TeamUSA has #RussianUniformEnvy. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … so, is Putin’s ex-wife pissed, or relieved? #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … really, Matt. is that what YOLO stands for? #commentatingexcellence #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … big win of the games so far? reintroducing me to bad Russian techno. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Putin: “Thank you, Ukraine, for coming. So we can crush you.” #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … there is no problem a little jingoism can’t solve. #TeamUSAoutfit #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … OMG, WHITE PANTS AFTER LABOR DAY?!? #SochiFail #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … “smile and wave, boys. smile and wave.” #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … madly preparing “jingoistic Christmas sweater” snipes for #TeamUSA’s arrival. #shootingfishinbarrel #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … I’m proud to have represented Nepal at the 1987 ODU Model UN conference. #REPRESENT #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Meredith and Matt are now officially in a race to see who can be more culturally insensitive. #NBCFail #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … god, I love the Russian national anthem. makes ours sound like a drinking song. #ohwait #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … remnick, you’re making baby Jesus cry. be a force for good. don’t give in to Matt and Meredith. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … corn mowing machines. #olympicmoments 8 Feb 14 … I hope that there will be 20 white pickup sticks stuffed with cheerleaders. #olympicmoments #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … do you think there will be a shout out to socialized medicine? #olympicmoments 8 Feb 14 … do you think that maria sharapova could afford to pay someone to dress her better? my rates are incredible affordable. #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Obama looks like he’s on Skype. #SochiProblems #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … during Salt Lake 2002 did Matt and Meredith spend this much time talking about terrorism and U.S. human rights abuses? #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … Bob, yesterday didn’t happen. Stop trying to make yesterday happen. #HallmarkHoliday #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … is now the time to mention that I was a Russian Studies major? I’m lying. My diploma actually says “Post-USSR Studies.” #Sochi2014 8 Feb 14 … “it begins on the edge of the western world.” #cryingalready #justkidding #noreally #Sochi2014 5 Feb 14 … are unfinished rooms “appalling conditions?” I’m guessing @washingtonpost doesn’t cover disasters, poverty, or elections. #olympics 5 Feb 14 … 35 minutes of #Olympics coverage, and I’ve already heard four pronunciations of the word Sochi. #hireafactchecker #alreadysucking 5 Feb 14 … BREAKING NEWS: Al Trautwig was NOT taken out back and shot for his London 2012 #Olympics gymnastics commentary. #FireAlTrautwig 5 Feb 14 … what made me think that watching an #olympics preview infomercial called “Winter Gold” wouldn’t be horrible?!? 5 Feb 14 … retired athletes turned commentators are proof that the hardest part of acting is knowing what NOT to do with your hands. #olympics 5 Feb 14 … Apollo Anton Ohno bantering with Gracie Gold is #ohmygod #soawkward. #alreadysucking #olympics 5 Feb 14 … women’s ski jumping just got 12 seconds of coverage, and 6 of it came from a @NBCOlympics promo. #alreadysucking #olympics 5 Feb 14 … must be insane to be the grandfather of your sport, and be just 27 years old. #theflyingtomato #olympics 5 Feb 14 … dear @NBCOlympics, this year #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck #pleasedontsuck. thank you. -
“daddy!”
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6954068185_470b005609.jpg)
i was running late to gymnastics class.dropped off mommy and sparklet in front of the building, and then went to look for parking. about 15 minutes later, i found parking about 10 blocks away. needless to say, i arrived well after the class had begun.
i snuck in, turned around to put my stuff down, and by the time i turned around i had a baby girl’s face planted into my stomach. she had run the length of the room (with 10 kids and 20 parents watching) to say hello.
life is pretty good.
See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
“daddy!” -
out: final gymnastics class
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6954067641_6998f3fd011.jpg)
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6954067107_987ed0f0411.jpg)
![[talimo]](/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6807950270_c0c514fba21.jpg)
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6807950908_f193d71d171.jpg)
it was a great course, and sparklet had a lot of fun, but I’m glad it’s over — the instructor had a vocal tenor that could shatter bulletproof glass, which was made 1.2 million times worse because the classroom was actually a raquetball court. I may need therapy. the things we do for our daughter’s love…See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
out: final gymnastics class -
fire al trautwig
it’s winter olympics season at the sparkler household, and that means it’s time to get angry and the god-aweful commentary for olympic sports. here are some of my favorites:for some, this morning started with agony and shock.
someone had fallen off the cross-country track.
these are biathlon fans. they know when to cheer … when the target is hit!
piercing insight there, friend.
spillane looks solid for the gold if he can stand up right here. spillane’s got it … america breaks through!
actually, spillane did *not* get it. in all the jingo-istic excitement, the commentator seems to have missed that a frenchman came in first.
in the previous three olympics, this man has left with nothing but the memories.
… nothing besides a gold medal.
we have a deep russian team. then, the americans. then, the russians … that’s your trilogy.
russians, americans, russians. yup, that’s three.
he’s a bit the germaphobe … always taking purell around with him. he doesn’t drink except for the occasional swig of cognac to cleanse his mouth of germs.
tmi. not quite to the clintonian/jacksonian/woodsian level, but seriously … he can sleep upside down in a hyperbolic chamber, and it’s none of my/our/your business.
i wish i could just blame NBC as a whole (and i may later) but each one of these linguistic “gems” was said by the same man … NBC olympic commentator al trautwig.
if the name sounds familiar, it should.
he is the same #*&%$ who brought you grotesquely over-wrought commentary for NBC’s gymnastics coverage in Beijing (including his 2008 pièce-de-résistance, lamenting “a catastrophe of epic proportions” when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine).
seriously, NBC … you’ve paid $3.5 billion for the rights to cover the Olympics since 1999, so maybe it’s about time you read the founding principles of the Games:
The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.
i don’t think it’s much of an exaggeration to say that mr. trautwig’s over-wrought hyperboles are undermining the very games he’s covering.
exiling trautwig from gymnastics to cross-country/biathalon coverage (while quite the statement about his perceived worth) isn’t enough. the problem is, he doesn’t have the commentary skills to cover little league matches in the Parkersburg, West Virginia.
if he’s under a contract you can’t get out of, let me suggest you transfer him to KXGN in Glendive, Montana. as a parking attendant.
-
a surprise of epic proportions
i have to share… right now, if you google “nbc gymnastic commentators,” the search results feature my rant about the Olympic coverage from earlier this month as result #7. if you google “a disaster of epic proportions,” i’m result #5.i don’t think i have ever been this cool in my life.
-
wait, the olympics aren’t over yet …
unlike the rest of the world, the Olympics aren’t wrapping up this weekend for the lady sparkler and I.
we’re only 200+ hours into the coverage, and have a solid 80 hours still to be watched on our tivo. (i know 200 hours sounds like a lot, but remember that one third of the coverage was commercials, and i swear another 20% was rowing or handball.)
from what i have heard, every one seems to think that the games were a solid “A+” for China, and so far I absolutely to agree.
unfortunately, i have started to hear some rumblings that the Olympics are starting to lose meaning. common talking points include:
the Olympics are from a more simplistic time — Since the 1972 Madrid crisis, national politics have mattered nearly as much as the sporting events themselves, and this year the games were held in China despite their miserable human rights record.
the Olympics promote rampant nationalism — there was an obsession about the total medal count (USA vs. China), an “our country is better than your country” measure if there ever was one. NBC’s coverage was pro-American to the point of being jingoistic (except for gymnastics, which was pro-Chinese once Al Trautwig finally shut up about the age of their women).
maybe there is some truth to this, but it seems to me that this is a bit simplistic. each of us watch the Olympics and take away exactly what we want to:
the internationalists see a great coming together of cultures to promote cooperation and understanding. the nationalists see a chance for us to prove our dominance in yet another arena. mommy-figure liberals see a reason to break out the kleenex box. daddy-figure conservatives see a reason to spend 2 weeks exploring the other 236 channels on their television.
george w. bush sees a chance to be relevant (and human) again.
sure, the coverage could be better. sure, the little sports (high jump, javelin, shooting) should get their due compared to the big sports (diving, beach volleyball, track). sure, tivo should be able to record all seven olympic channels at once and should be able to record more than 86 hours of coverage at once.
but, in the end, it’s been a kick-butt two weeks … even ignoring Michael Phelps (which a dark, hidden side of me was trying to do after medal five or so). i discovered a version of the Star Spangle Banner doesn’t sound like the British drinking song that it is. i discovered that the Chinese know how to party, and are freaky good at coordinated dance moves.
but, most poignantly, i discovered (finally) why every field hockey player i ever knew could crush me with their pinkie.
-
the olympics so far
a couple of observations from seven days of olympic coverage so far:
- archery — these bows have technology that rivals most nuclear missle silos. where are the purists that are complaining about the competative advantage of the new swimming suits?!?
- badminton — i some how managed to watch the u.s. lose all four of their competitions, and wasn’t able to muster much interest after that.
- beach vollyball — i swear. i am rooting for the men’s teams as much as the women’s teams. really. i promise.
- cycling — the woman’s road race was held in the worst rain storm i have ever seen. at one point towards the end, you couldn’t tell if they competitors were on a bicycle or a kayak.
- equestrian — dressage (the sport of walking a horse around a ring) is the most ridiculous “human” competition i have ever seen. they should give the medals to the horses, not the people holding up the top-hats.
- fencing — absolutely addictive. so far, this my curling for the beijing olympic games. bonus: the bulky outfits that the competitors wear helps “prove” that my interest in beach volleyball and field hockey have nothing to do with their sexy outfits.
- field hockey — awesome. i never knew this sport existed, outside of seeing girls at my high school in their pleated skirts. the worst player for worst team could put me in a hospital with their pinkie. that’s my kind of sport.
- gymnastics — oy, the commentators. don’t get me started.
- shooting — my first “cheer out load” moment came when an american snagged the bronze in trap shooting. unfortunately, it happened to be while i was “multitasking” at work.
- soccer — the men flamed out in the group stage, the women have advanced to the medal rounds. it’s nice to know that some things never change for the u.s. national teams.
- table tennis — despite all of nbc’s attempts to glamorize this sport, it’s still ping-pong. it will *always* be ping-pong. except it doesn’t have beer. (not a good thing.)
- water polo — i think i actually understand this as a sport now. before, i just thought of it as the only swimming activity that had headgear more ridiculous than synchronized swimming.
the serious winner from the olympics so far is the divine marriage of my tivo to the lady sparkler’s HD tv. it’s amazing how much difference the high-def “experience” actually makes, and (more importantly) how quickly you can watch a 24 hours worth of Olympic coverage when you “tivo” out the fluff pieces, the commercials, and the awful commentary…
-
nbc’s gymnastics commentators: a disaster of epic proportions
just finished up the olympic women’s gymnastics team all-a-round competition … and we are *done* with the manic-depressive rantings that spew from nbc’s gymnastics commentators.
update: for 2012’s NBC gymnastics coverage — live commentary is here, or follow on twitter.some snapshots:
- when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine, it was a “a catastrophe of epic proportions.”
- when an men’s gymnast fell off the apparatus: “High bar 101, grab the bar.”
- apparently, japan and romania’s women “don’t show the proper respect for the olympics” by enjoying themselves on the gym floor, and they would be ultimately unsuccessful because they were “unfocused” (romania went on to medal).
- they won’t shut up about the age of the chinese gymnasts, saying at least three times that “nothing more need be said” about the controversy (if they would only *heed* this themselves).
- when the chinese started their final routine: “Pick your measure of pressure and multiply it by one point three billion.”
really, people. they weren’t negotiating a peace treaty. they weren’t transporting nuclear waste. this is a sport. frankly, Sacramone going to have all sorts of undeserved shrink bills even without your drama queen commentary. (we still love you, alicia…)
turns out that we aren’t the only haters. their are tons of nasty commentary about NBC’s lousy commentary.
anyway, we’re using the mute button from here on out.
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/10501736856_f35d318711.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/10501748574_522af2172f.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/8499513028_d4885ac259.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/8499512406_b1fc4d6b1f.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/8498407137_109bef34e7.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/8499510888_c1bbd35b78.jpg)
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/6786350085_3eeeb4641e1.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/6913317697_db64a112e91.jpg)
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/6913323607_4b2eef0a131.jpg)
![[]](https://theparkerfamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/6778114347_0554d4f9231.jpg)
![[]](/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/6778111929_f77ebe28c81.jpg)
![[Photo]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3063/2284477053_52d5c537f7.jpg?v=0)
silver stars gymnastics, silver spring, maryland