theparkerfamily.org

Tag: Social Media

  • the five rules of baby names

    []
    photo.jpg, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    there has been a lot of talk about baby names, now that we know the gender of baby sparklet.  

    we have our favorites, but are very much in the “exploratory” stage of the naming process … and we are still adding as many names to the list as we are removing.

    before last week, we had only discussed one rule of baby naming: 

    • the “last name” test —  each first name has a last name, and it’s got to match.  with a last name like “Parker,” that means the first name needs be something from the same Anglo school … and while “Mariella” is a beautiful name, “Mariella Parker” is just crazy.

    originally, the lady sparkler and i thought that one rule would guide us home, but now that we have spent some serious time talking about names, we have a couple new rules to add to the collection:

    • the “CEO” test — sure we want the baby to have a cute name worthy of babydom, but will it look rediculous on business cards in twenty years?  for some reason “Kaylee” comes to mind.
    • the “elementary school” test — will the child be able to spell her name by the start of school?  will the teacher be able to call her name without a phoenetic guidebook?  I think “Nevaeh” manages to fail both at once, as I can’t spell or say without serious assistance.
    • the “gift shop magnet” test — while personally i hate those personalized rainbow magnets you find in gift shops, I fervently believe sparklet should have the ability to find her name if she’s looking.  this means no bizzaro names (“Estrella”, “Willow”) and no bizzaro spellings (“Nataly”, “Madisyn”).
    • the “place in the family” test — if history (or the lady sparkler) is any indication, baby sparklet will be a force of nature … and likely the alpha dog of the household.  as a result, we can’t use any flowery names (“Lily”, “Emma”, “Ashley”) that are ultimately better suited for a second baby sparklet.

    I think those are all the rules, though there are one or two corollaries we are also keeping in mind:  

    • there has got to be a workable nickname (all I ever wanted in life was a nickname);
    • have to watch those initials (“Isabella Constance Parker” would have the initials “I See Pee”);
    • there will be no gender ambiguity (“Chris”, “Taylor”);
    • and no stealing names from nieces/cousins (which is a shame, because I *love* the name “Natalie”);
    • our M.O.H. won’t let us name the baby after the cat (which is also a shame, because “Emily” is my favorite name ever).

    aside from that, it’s open season.  let me know what you come up with … 

    Explore the Photo Set:
    Album: the lady sparkler, Sue and Jeremy (facebook)

  • it’s (going to be) a girl!

    photo
    well, 142 days into this thing, and we finally know the gender of our baby sparklet … she’s a girl.  and frankly, after 20 weeks of discussions, i am just glad she’s a something.the lady sparkler announced about six weeks into the pregnancy that the baby was going to be a girl.  (she never said how she knew it was a girl, but she just knew.)

    i assumed she was just playing the odds based off her ancestry … the lady sparkler is the eldest of three daughters, her mother is the eldest of three daughters, and both her grandmother and great-grandmother were the eldest of three daughters.

    that 13 girls in 5 generations.  her maternal line is obviously hostile environment for boy sperm.

    anyway, things became unbearable after i let slip that an old-wives-tale predicted that baby-mamas with girls in the pouch craved fruit, while those with boys craved meat. within two days she had “developed” a craving for anything strawberry that she could get her hands on, and it’s still going strong.

    of course, i “knew” that — in her fervency — she was dead wrong.  she was so certain it would be a girl, that i knew God would rise up and smite her … if for no other reason than the comedic value.

    in fact, she was so certain it would be a girl, that she promised lightingchickknits that if the baby turned out to be a boy, we would name him Aesculapius.

    for what it’s worth, i’m guessing that why she’s a girl, because while God likes a bit of Karma … he knew the ramifications of a male heir were truly severe.

    but, besides narrowly avoiding destroying the life of our child through name selection, today is a landmark for another reason — it is the launch of our pregnancy’s facebook and twitter strategies.

    it seems rediculous, but we actually spent a decent amount of time trying to figure out when it was “appropriate” to social market our little baby sparklet, and few issues sparked as much controversy with our friends to boot.

    I’m the end, we decided that it’s been 20 weeks now … which means that we are over halfway to having a real live baby sparklet to mortifyingly embarass.  so why not practice?

    with that in mind, here is the pregnancy so far:

    • the clothes don’t make the (wo)man — the lady sparkler, and her battles with the maternity-clothing-industrial-complex.
    • into the closet, pt 2 — the first true battle with our home renovation / nesting instincts.
    • ultrasound — baby sparklet looks great, sounds great, and is already over achieving … and we’ve got proof.
    • the longest twelve weeks — i realized early on that i had the potential do a lot of damage in the twelve weeks where i was supposed to avoid talking about the pregnancy.
    • yup, we’re pregnant — and yes, we are going to find out the gender, and yes, we are going to pick a boring, anglo-friendly name.
    • how i met your mother — the latest in a whole series of posts about how i met and married mama de baby sparklet … preserved for posterity, and mutual embarrassment each major holiday.

    and now that we have a gender, i am going to head down to the pub and lift a pint to the fact that there will be no baby Aesculapius asking me what kind of drugs we were on when we picked names.

  • bad facebook meme week, part three: iphone psychologist

    in part three of “bad facebook meme” week, I’m supposed to shuffle my iPhone and use the first twenty song titles to answer the questions below:

    what do your friends think of you?
    imaginary (evanescense)

    what if someone says you’re okay?
    under the weather (kt tunstall)

    how would you describe yourself?
    buffalo (kathleen edwards)

    what do you like in a [wife]?
    stay (dave matthews band)

    how do you feel today?
    it’s the end of the world (REM)

    what is your life’s purpose?
    the mercy of the fallen (dar williams)

    what is your motto?
    lazy dreamer (liz phair)

    what do you think about often?
    city of blinding lights (U2)

    what is 2 + 2?
    chloe dancer (mother love bone)

    what do you think of your best friend?
    fuck and run (liz phair)

    what do you think of your love interest?
    who’s to say (vanessa carlton)

    what describes your life story?
    wish you were here (rasputina)

    what do you want to be when you grow up?
    crazy in love (beyonce)

    what [did] you dance to at your wedding?
    love me two times (the doors)

    what will they play at your funeral?
    hey, jupiter (tori amos)

    what is your hobby?
    hurt (johnny cash)

    what is your biggest fear?
    grey street (dave matthews band)

    what is your biggest secret?
    freakshow (muffy nixon)

    what do you think of your friends?
    pumpkin soup (kate nash)

    what will you post this as?
    in my head (anna nalick)

    some of these are disturbingly telling …

  • bad facebook meme week, part two: firsts

    in part two of “bad facebook meme” week, a list of firsts … which should be interesting considering i basically don’t remember anything before seventh grade:

    Who was your FIRST prom date?
    Sarah Bierenbaum, and saw her in NYC last week.

    Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
    Christine Holt, and the last time I saw here was ~15 years ago in an outlet mall in Williamsburg.

    What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
    Frozen Mudslide, at some bar in Richmond with Maya Larson.

    What was your FIRST job?
    Nick’s Pancake House, or Williamsburg Country Club … depends on what you count.

    What was your FIRST car?
    1978 Oldsmobile Delta 88. It was my grandmother’s car, and it was awesome.

    Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
    (Damn, i’m old.)

    Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
    Tasha Spindler.

    Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
    Pretty sure it was Mrs. Sidebottom (don’t laugh) at Rawls Byrd Elementary School.

    Where did you go on your FIRST airplane ride?
    No clue. The first one I remember was to the Middle East, but there was certainly something before that.

    Who was your FIRST best friend?
    Tie between Mark Drew and Tim Bilbo.

    Where was your FIRST sleep over?
    First I remember was a church lock-in, but that was in High School. Did i mention i have a horrid memory?

    Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
    My brother’s … I was Best Man.

    What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
    Wii Fit.

    What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
    I hope to God it wasn’t New Kids on the Block, but I am pretty sure it was. The things one does to try and impress a girl … especially one that didn’t look at me the whole night.

    What was your FIRST foreign country you’ve been to?
    Bahamas (but have no real recollection). First I remember was a summer scholarship to Jordan and Syria.

    What was your FIRST movie you remember seeing?
    Black Cauldron. Damn scary movie when you are eight.

    When was your FIRST detention?
    Never had one, but it should have been when I slugged Justin Timpane in 8th grade.

    What was the FIRST state you lived in?
    Virginia. Then Maryland. Then DC, and that’s it. I’m not much for variety.

    Who was your FIRST roommate?
    I’ve blanked on the name (Josh?) but he dropped out after a 0.0 semester, and last I heard he was working at a deli in Williamsburg.

  • bad facebook meme week, part one: twenty-five random things

    it’s bad facebook meme week here, so i’ll be posting not one, not two, but three of the worst facebook memes i could come up with. try not to read with any sharp objects lying around.

    I started writing this about a month ago, back when “25 Random Things” was still a meme on Facebook. Unfortunately, I’m no where near as interesting as I had originally thought, so it took forever to come up with a list that wasn’t tortuously dull to read through.

    1. I refuse on principle to have any regrets … you make the best decision you can with the information you have, and move on.
    2. When I wear a watch, I wear it on my “wrong” hand because that’s how my brother (left-handed) did/does it.
    3. In 5th grade, I won an award from Optimist International.
    4. I don’t remember anything that happened before seventh grade that isn’t a picture in a photo album.
    5. The first album I ever owned was The Police’s Synchronicity.
    6. I have the world’s worst taste in music (chick rock/chick pop) and place the blame squarely on my debbie gibson/shania twain-loving brother.
    7. I’ve been hit on by so many men that I’ve stopped counting, but I knew I was very, very straight ever since the first time I kissed Christine Holt in 9th grade (felt it in my knees).
    8. I named my future kids (three of them, all girls) back in high school and believe I still have a realistic shot of using the names.
    9. My 10th grade English teacher was awesome, and I often wonder what she’s up to.
    10. I can’t think of a single funny one-liner that I have said in the last two decades that wasn’t stolen from a movie.
    11. I was two classes away from being a Theatre major, but refused to take acting 101 and 102 on principle. I was a theatrical designer — did 35 light designs at nine different theaters before I graduated — and acting was “beneath” me.
    12. I’ve studied three different languages (Spanish, Arabic, Russian) for a total of twelve semesters, but sucked at all of them.
    13. If I could do College over again, I’d study Sociology.
    14. I occasionally worry that I will never reconcile my spirituality with the mess that is organized religion.
    15. I’m quite possibly the only person in the world to be turned on by women in colonial garb.
    16. I keep a list of every book I’ve read since 1997.
    17. I have incredible hair envy whenever I see a black man with short dreads (specifically Lenny Kravitz.)
    18. Up until five years ago, I had never been farther west than central Ohio.
    19. The most regularly trafficked part of my website exhibits paintings of Mary Magdalene through art history
    20. Even though i do it for a living, I hate technology, and refuse to buy the first generations of pretty much anything.
    21. I’m permanently concerned about being awkward in social situations, which (not surprisingly) usually makes me awkward in social situations.
    22. I’d give up every skill I have in my generalist (wide, not deep) skill set to be a virtuoso at any one thing, and it doesn’t matter a lick to me what that one thing would be.
    23. When I retire, I want to be a taxi cab driver in Washington, D.C.
    24. I don’t believe that Big Bird qualifies as a Muppet, and get angry when people make that argument … even though they are right.
    25. I have never been happier in my life than I am right now, and just about all of that is my wife’s fault.

  • dma 2009: revolution or evolution

    Presentation today with the fine people at Planit, an agency out of Baltimore. All my slides are mixed into the main presentation, but they are the case studies around registration form testing, landing page to donation form conversion, social media (flickr, facebook widgets) and lifecycle emails.

  • greenwebdc

    mmmmmm, beeer.

    hung out with a great group of greens tonight, drinking beer and otherwise promoting “good will” among eco-tweeting hippies (jcolman, starfocus, KSuzJ, and salsus … with special appearances by beautifulthangs and holdie1).

    all of this camaraderie should have amped me up to go to work tomorrow morning (and it did), but it mostly reminded me that i need to polish-up a presentation on engagement for the d.m.a. conference the first week of november.

    got pleeeeeanty of material, just need the time to put it all together … and work on my jokes. (“if you’re like me, and i am ….”)

  • the cat and the coffee maker

    Emily the Catthe lady sparkler wanted a french press for as long as anyone could remember, and only the possession of an existing coffee pot stood in between her and her dreams.

    in the wee hours of monday morning, however, this caffeine-driven lust percolated into a plan … with shattering consequences.

    according to initial reports, late sunday night ms. sparkler slipped treats to one “Emily the Cat,” who then proceeded to destroy said coffee pot as part of her 3:30 am caterwauling. the victim, a solid yet uninspired resident of the kitchen, was apparently pushed off the silestone cliffs near the sink district onto the cold, slate flooring below.

    when apprehended, ms. the cat declined to comment. old crate and barrel gift cards, left over from ms. sparkler’s recent wedding, have already been mobilized as part of the relief effort.

    in other coffee related news, sparkler fan-favourite burkina boy has recently published a sustainable coffee guide on the web site of some leading conservation organization working to protect life, preserve nature, etc., etc., etc.