The quick brown fox jumped over the good, but lazy Parker family.

the five rules of baby names

Sunday, 28 June 2009

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
there has been a lot of talk about baby names, now that we know the gender of baby sparklet.  

we have our favorites, but are very much in the “exploratory” stage of the naming process … and we are still adding as many names to the list as we are removing.

before last week, we had only discussed one rule of baby naming: 

  • the “last name” test —  each first name has a last name, and it’s got to match.  with a last name like “Parker,” that means the first name needs be something from the same Anglo school … and while “Mariella” is a beautiful name, “Mariella Parker” is just crazy.

originally, the lady sparkler and i thought that one rule would guide us home, but now that we have spent some serious time talking about names, we have a couple new rules to add to the collection:

  • the “CEO” test — sure we want the baby to have a cute name worthy of babydom, but will it look rediculous on business cards in twenty years?  for some reason “Kaylee” comes to mind.
  • the “elementary school” test — will the child be able to spell her name by the start of school?  will the teacher be able to call her name without a phoenetic guidebook?  I think “Nevaeh” manages to fail both at once, as I can’t spell or say without serious assistance.
  • the “gift shop magnet” test — while personally i hate those personalized rainbow magnets you find in gift shops, I fervently believe sparklet should have the ability to find her name if she’s looking.  this means no bizzaro names (“Estrella”, “Willow”) and no bizzaro spellings (“Nataly”, “Madisyn”).
  • the “place in the family” test — if history (or the lady sparkler) is any indication, baby sparklet will be a force of nature … and likely the alpha dog of the household.  as a result, we can’t use any flowery names (“Lily”, “Emma”, “Ashley”) that are ultimately better suited for a second baby sparklet.

I think those are all the rules, though there are one or two corollaries we are also keeping in mind:  

  • there has got to be a workable nickname (all I ever wanted in life was a nickname);
  • have to watch those initials (“Isabella Constance Parker” would have the initials “I See Pee”);
  • there will be no gender ambiguity (“Chris”, “Taylor”);
  • and no stealing names from nieces/cousins (which is a shame, because I *love* the name “Natalie”);
  • our M.O.H. won’t let us name the baby after the cat (which is also a shame, because “Emily” is my favorite name ever).

aside from that, it’s open season.  let me know what you come up with … 

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Album: the lady sparkler, Sue and Jeremy (facebook)