it’s bad facebook meme week here, so i’ll be posting not one, not two, but three of the worst facebook memes i could come up with. try not to read with any sharp objects lying around.

I started writing this about a month ago, back when “25 Random Things” was still a meme on Facebook. Unfortunately, I’m no where near as interesting as I had originally thought, so it took forever to come up with a list that wasn’t tortuously dull to read through.

  1. I refuse on principle to have any regrets … you make the best decision you can with the information you have, and move on.
  2. When I wear a watch, I wear it on my “wrong” hand because that’s how my brother (left-handed) did/does it.
  3. In 5th grade, I won an award from Optimist International.
  4. I don’t remember anything that happened before seventh grade that isn’t a picture in a photo album.
  5. The first album I ever owned was The Police’s Synchronicity.
  6. I have the world’s worst taste in music (chick rock/chick pop) and place the blame squarely on my debbie gibson/shania twain-loving brother.
  7. I’ve been hit on by so many men that I’ve stopped counting, but I knew I was very, very straight ever since the first time I kissed Christine Holt in 9th grade (felt it in my knees).
  8. I named my future kids (three of them, all girls) back in high school and believe I still have a realistic shot of using the names.
  9. My 10th grade English teacher was awesome, and I often wonder what she’s up to.
  10. I can’t think of a single funny one-liner that I have said in the last two decades that wasn’t stolen from a movie.
  11. I was two classes away from being a Theatre major, but refused to take acting 101 and 102 on principle. I was a theatrical designer — did 35 light designs at nine different theaters before I graduated — and acting was “beneath” me.
  12. I’ve studied three different languages (Spanish, Arabic, Russian) for a total of twelve semesters, but sucked at all of them.
  13. If I could do College over again, I’d study Sociology.
  14. I occasionally worry that I will never reconcile my spirituality with the mess that is organized religion.
  15. I’m quite possibly the only person in the world to be turned on by women in colonial garb.
  16. I keep a list of every book I’ve read since 1997.
  17. I have incredible hair envy whenever I see a black man with short dreads (specifically Lenny Kravitz.)
  18. Up until five years ago, I had never been farther west than central Ohio.
  19. The most regularly trafficked part of my website exhibits paintings of Mary Magdalene through art history
  20. Even though i do it for a living, I hate technology, and refuse to buy the first generations of pretty much anything.
  21. I’m permanently concerned about being awkward in social situations, which (not surprisingly) usually makes me awkward in social situations.
  22. I’d give up every skill I have in my generalist (wide, not deep) skill set to be a virtuoso at any one thing, and it doesn’t matter a lick to me what that one thing would be.
  23. When I retire, I want to be a taxi cab driver in Washington, D.C.
  24. I don’t believe that Big Bird qualifies as a Muppet, and get angry when people make that argument … even though they are right.
  25. I have never been happier in my life than I am right now, and just about all of that is my wife’s fault.