Tag: Social Media
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archive: the year in tweets, 2012-2013
13 Sep 13 … just realized I’ve been watching Dora for the last 15 minutes. both kids are asleep. 13 Sep 13 … it’s disturbing how much of my personal nomenklatura comes from @ThatKevinSmith’s “Dogma.” 7 Sep 13 … #sparklet is the tallest person in her 4 to 5 year old gymnastics class, and she’s still only 3. 2 Sep 13 … actually, happiness is having a wife who says “we don’t have any food for dinner, let’s go to a brew pub.” 2 Sep 13 … happiness is going to a brew pub and listening to the waiter politely explain to another table why they don’t serve Miller Lite. 30 Aug 13 … first day of school, ever. #sparklet #emptynestsyndrome http://t.co/S0TgiIDFGj 29 Aug 13 … a stranger just said “hello” to me in the elevator. without any apparent agenda or sense of irony. #bewildered #alternateuniverse 22 Aug 13 … #sparklet. http://t.co/ZySodHYpi7 22 Aug 13 … #mightyquinn. http://t.co/sLBpVj0fch 18 Aug 13 … “daddy, i hate coloring princesses. do we have anything else?” #ftw 17 Aug 13 … it shouldn’t take 42 minutes in @HomeDepot to figure out they don’t have a single thing you need. #FirstWorldProblems 16 Aug 13 … fatherhood is spending the entire @gracepotter concert thinking how much fun #sparklet would be having if she were here. 16 Aug 13 … @gracepotter charges The Rolling Stones royalties whenever she decides to play “Paint It Black.” 16 Aug 13 … if you’re going to block my view, I’d hope you’d dance better. #gracepotter 16 Aug 13 … @gracepotter made it through 9 songs before having to take off her 4 inch heals. #epic #grammyworthy 16 Aug 13 … I’ve never been ready to leave a concert after the “opening” act before. @Tromboneshorty #wickedmadskills 15 Aug 13 … sure y’all can hear from DC, but @tromboneshorty just ripped the lid off Wolf Trap. #nothard #butstill 15 Aug 13 … saw a girl at #GracePotter wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt. asked the police to escort her out. #somepeoplecantbetrusted 15 Aug 13 … commute from DC to the sticks to see @GracePotter took 22 minutes, and I saw two deer. win?!? win. 27 Jul 13 … finished Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. #kindle http://t.co/QOGcgcZou2 23 Jul 13 … god save the #king. http://t.co/OVYveAU49Q 20 Jul 13 … I first bought Liz Phair’s “Exile in Guyville” twenty years ago this month. #OfficiallyOldNow 19 Jul 13 … oh Framingham, oh Framingham / how lovely is thy masspike? 17 Jul 13 … my daughter sent me on my business trip with a coloring book, so I ‘d have something to do on the plane. thank you, #sparklet. 15 Jul 13 … i’m confused why Sam and Frodo haven’t gotten the love that Bert and Ernie have. does marriage equality not extend to hobbits? #racist 13 Jul 13 … spending saturday morning watching Gross Pointe Blank with my three year old. too soon? 11 Jul 13 … pro-tip to the guy at 6th and 24th: #fixies make you _less_ cool if you tip over waiting for the light to turn green. 9 Jul 13 … guessing I’m the only one feeling nostalgic for Janet Jackson’s “Love Will Never Do” video? #shewassohappythen #theysaiditwouldntlast 7 Jul 13 … in 124 days away #mightyquinn is walking, #sparklet’s going to school, we left the US, and spent 3+mo outside. http://t.co/VY0oFVuqzJ 6 Jul 13 … hast du etwas Zeit für mich dann singe ich ein Lied für dich von 99 Luftballons. 4 Jul 13 … my son just realized that we are out of beer. http://t.co/r4KUGgUvF8 30 Jun 13 … I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie. 28 Jun 13 … I’ve decided that my liver has been badly behaved this week, and needs to be punished. 28 Jun 13 … “beer is more than just a breakfast drink.” 27 Jun 13 … finished The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. #kindle http://t.co/2QvbneeWR5 23 Jun 13 … why do you build me up, buttercup, baby. #younevercallbabywhenyousayyouwill#butiloveyoustill 19 Jun 13 … finished Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. #kindle http://t.co/S5osLctV8Z 19 Jun 13 … finished The Devil in the Kitchen by Marco Pierre White. #kindle http://t.co/eXj4yVh0Lz 19 Jun 13 … it was as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. #nbafinals 19 Jun 13 … #$&% you, ray allen. 18 Jun 13 … turns out that I fish left handed, and i’m a little unsure why i’m discovering this at the age of 38. http://t.co/s3AFssr07I 17 Jun 13 … how typeface influences the way we read and think http://t.co/WOb0a5iA6g via @TheWeek 14 Jun 13 … feeling a little emo. #nokids 13 Jun 13 … my son kisses like he’s jabba the hut. #mightyquinn 12 Jun 13 … finished Just My Type: A Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield. #kindle 9 Jun 13 … the utterance that just earned me a parent of the year nomination: “rory, no more knives.” 9 Jun 13 … kids heal, bacon doesn’t un-burn. 5 Jun 13 … GoldenEye. greatest bond movie ever. discuss. 4 Jun 13 … have watched 1 hour and 13 minutes of a Coldplay concert on Palladia. don’t know whether to sing along or gnaw off my earlobes. 2 Jun 13 … finished “Ghost Train to the Eastern Star” by Paul Theroux. #kindle http://t.co/QIq1tS99X1 1 Jun 13 … #wallflower #groupies. http://t.co/mFhVz08o4d 1 Jun 13 … just saw a neighbor walking their cockatoo to the farmers market. not sure I like how my neighborhood is trending. 30 May 13 … never share a milkshake with a toddler. it’s quite literally a race to the bottom. 24 May 13 … DCA to MIA to Costa #%£$ing Rica. 15 May 13 … #bostonceltics, in training. http://t.co/WV1sCmQVw7 14 May 13 … was totally duped by Third Shift beer. shouldn’t they be required to disclose on the label that they’re a front for Miller/Coors? 13 May 13 … at DAR Hall, waiting for Anthony Bourdain to start. Based on the rest of the audience, I’m not sure this was such a good idea. 4 May 13 … to whomever gave my child the dancing Justin Bieber dog: I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I will find you. 3 May 13 … #spoilingourdinner. http://t.co/QXEhwITKCk 2 May 13 … finished Best American Science and Nature Writing 2011 by Mary Roach, Tim Folger. http://t.co/NLednGcQJf 26 Apr 13 … #keepmovingforward. 23 Apr 13 … “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” 18 Apr 13 … I am going to Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, ftw! http://t.co/NKWbpSjPO0 via @ticketsdotcom 14 Apr 13 … #Rubenesque. http://t.co/vUmkgFvE97 14 Apr 13 … #reading. http://t.co/n1FZ1Cqmjs 14 Apr 13 … #family. http://t.co/xvtBpDgtG8 9 Apr 13 … about ready to watch my first game of the 2013 #NCAA #MarchMadness. anybody know who’s playing? 4 Apr 13 … the dude abides. 4 Apr 13 … it turned out to be a good day. feel like i should go hide in a cave to make sure it stays that way. 29 Mar 13 … I hope the ’83 Wolfpack win tonight. 27 Mar 13 … reading #books. http://t.co/ailQaN7AQU 27 Mar 13 … fear the turtle, baby. #goterps 25 Mar 13 … finally, enough #snow for a #snowman. http://t.co/GkXOzQP4n7 25 Mar 13 … Federal Gov’t closes when it doesn’t snow, stays open when it finally does. seriously. 24 Mar 13 … inspiring college students to use birth control since 2012 http://t.co/yWLaAuWrAc 24 Mar 13 … Plato’s Diner, College Park. #goterps http://t.co/PwbanSFY3P 23 Mar 13 … man, this has been a long winter. #ineverysenseoftheword 23 Mar 13 … #spring. http://t.co/cvY0y8qVwT 23 Mar 13 … #swing. http://t.co/kCImPoa17H 23 Mar 13 … #munch #munch. http://t.co/LM8RvuvAnL 23 Mar 13 … #divas. http://t.co/LevKHtqF41 23 Mar 13 … never in my years have I seen a #usmnt World Cup qualifier look like this: http://t.co/lh3JW3YRgO 20 Mar 13 … “when your enemy’s making mistakes, don’t interrupt him.” 18 Mar 13 … finished Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power by Rachel Maddow. http://t.co/N0Li2CCn7A 16 Mar 13 … maryland #terps, ftw! I’d light my couch on fire if I wasn’t sitting on it. 12 Mar 13 … my son sounds exactly like one of the Nazgûl. 11 Mar 13 … walked by a venue at #sxsw and the band was covering “Wonderwall.” If this isn’t a cry for quality control, I don’t know what is. 10 Mar 13 … until I came to Austin, I didn’t realize how much hot pants annoyed me. #sxsw #sxswi 10 Mar 13 … I shouldn’t be allowed to pick my own sessions. #sxsw 9 Mar 13 … pretty sure I just drank beer, wine, tequila, and sake in the same night. #SXSW http://t.co/xlVK6xZFci 8 Mar 13 … presenter at #sxsw is showing windows media files and using IE7. wondering if I should walk out on principle. 8 Mar 13 … just saw a sign for “breakdance services.” #iloveaustin #sxsw 6 Mar 13 … 68 degrees and sunny. eating tex-mex. miss you guys. 6 Mar 13 … DCA –> SXSW. 3 Mar 13 … #vamosunited 2 Mar 13 … staring contest. http://t.co/sc5yObm1OF 2 Mar 13 … stirring coffee. http://t.co/7zgNpyepiX 2 Mar 13 … Herndon, it’s like a whole other country. 26 Feb 13 … most annoying: Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves or @AmericanAir putting me on hold for 50 mins to fix their mistake? discuss. 23 Feb 13 … speaking of, I just admonished #sparklet for her tone when play-talking to her imaginary mother on her fake cell phone. srsly?!? 23 Feb 13 … #sparklet has imaginary pets and gets surprisingly flustered if you try and hold the actual hand that’s holding the imaginary leash. 17 Feb 13 … watching Maryland spank Duke, with my family, on a three day weekend. if life gets better than this, I don’t know how I’d handle it. 17 Feb 13 … don’t you think it’s about time for Sam and Frodo to come out of the closet together? 17 Feb 13 … your officially old when you’re having after dinner drinks at 7:15. 13 Feb 13 … my child appears to be singing “silent night.” 11 Feb 13 … i haven’t taken my heavy winter coat out of storage in ~36 months. i’m starting to think @BowmanClimate might be on to something. 8 Feb 13 … #sparklet is singing along to Adele. I am the awesomest father of a three year old, ever. 5 Feb 13 … #mightyquinn just stood up by himself, realized he had no idea what the heck he was doing, and fell over. 4 Feb 13 … $&@?, that was more more exciting than it needed to be. 21 Jan 13 … ravens, ftw! 19 Jan 13 … it’s time for the proudest of Washingtonian traditions: getting out of town before the inauguration crowds ravage the city. 10 Jan 13 … I have a strange desire to find whoever pitched “Stars in Danger: High Dive” and punch them in the nose. 1 Jan 13 … pretty sure this is the first New Years that I’m hoping the next year will be *less* exciting than the one that came before. 31 Dec 12 … #happiness is watching your family in the kitchen dance along to “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. 25 Dec 12 … “after all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas.” 15 Dec 12 … is it weird to have a favorite Home Alone movie? yeah, probably. 14 Dec 12 … fun with toilet paper. http://t.co/cc5hsgjO 14 Dec 12 … every year I go to the White House Christmas tree and every year I’m underwhelmed. #Grinch 11 Dec 12 … Romney, with gravy. http://t.co/IHsFUztP 30 Nov 12 … Chicago. http://t.co/GyKMmdlc 25 Nov 12 … home for the holidays. http://t.co/2zZiCd0h 22 Nov 12 … thankful. http://t.co/J7xTkIyQ 22 Nov 12 … feel like I should be live tweeting the Macy’s parade. my snark deserves a wider audience than my 3 year old. 22 Nov 12 … Bring It On is a musical now? cue sound of barrel bottom being scraped. 20 Nov 12 … just realized I haven’t been in an outlet mall in nearly two years. is this what it’s like to live in the suburbs? 19 Nov 12 … “who am I. why am I here? i’m not a politician.” 18 Nov 12 … the joy of mirrored ceilings. http://t.co/LDo4a0D0 17 Nov 12 … synchronized sand scooping. http://t.co/zbVoeM0w 17 Nov 12 … puppets fear me. http://t.co/1RJxgtpF 16 Nov 12 … “Awesome. It’s like a pack of hairless Ewoks.” 16 Nov 12 … on the plane, I watched Step Up Revolution (oversexed teens grinding in Miami) to the #sparklet’s soundtrack from Annie. epic mash up. 13 Nov 12 … the blogging equivalent of the dreaded clip-show http://t.co/wgt5l7wF 11 Nov 12 … driving like a crazy toddler. http://t.co/Rz7qRbTH 11 Nov 12 … sleep is good. http://t.co/uuOhFkK3 10 Nov 12 … fishing for alligators. http://t.co/2QbR8cXz 10 Nov 12 … eating good barbecue, awash in the glow from the Walmart parking lot. welcome to Texas. 8 Nov 12 … auntie kat. http://t.co/eqWWFLcn 7 Nov 12 … at the smithsonian castle. http://t.co/HR94f4cE 7 Nov 12 … I know I should be impressed that 1700 years ago Iranians made a wine horn that looks like a gazelle, but man I #hate ancient art. 6 Nov 12 … I don’t care that the polls haven’t closed, I don’t understand why they haven’t called DC yet. #election 4 Nov 12 … “I led you here, for I am Spartacus.” 3 Nov 12 … again. http://t.co/2y4snd9e 2 Nov 12 … cousins. http://t.co/gS0YLOip 2 Nov 12 … #done. http://t.co/GC4VFEj8 2 Nov 12 … snack break. http://t.co/H96cKlx5 31 Oct 12 … rei fairy princess. http://t.co/zUJ4whUw 31 Oct 12 … Yoda is not an Ewok. http://t.co/FMlowr2e 30 Oct 12 … camping in the basement. http://t.co/HP969cVI 30 Oct 12 … “you’ve had the power to go back all along.” 28 Oct 12 … #sparklet just knocked over a drink and said, “party foul.” #neverbeenprouder 28 Oct 12 … I’ll bet you the #steelers wish they had let their wives dress them this morning. #httr 28 Oct 12 … waiting for the storm. http://t.co/olUBO6iN 28 Oct 12 … ihop! http://t.co/b66cEPxF 27 Oct 12 … pumpkins! http://t.co/zCNgCtGI 27 Oct 12 … after “extremely loud and incredibly close” last night, watching “day after tomorrow” wasn’t quite the pick-me-up I had hoped. 25 Oct 12 … based on her height at age two, #Sparklet should end up to be 6 ft tall. i fear for her future boyfriends. 17 Oct 12 … oh, wait. I’ve been watching Harry Potter on ABC Family. What have you all been watching? #debates 13 Oct 12 … thank you #nats for distracting me from how sucky it is being a #redsox fan. well, up until the collapse, when you reminded me. #fb 12 Oct 12 … I think Kate Nash’s “Do Wah Doo” might just be the perfect pop song. Even if the video is a little odd. http://t.co/7vF62A1c 7 Oct 12 … sign on pizzeria says “welcome to steelers country” but they are closed Sundays. #PoorBusinessModel 7 Oct 12 … asleep. http://t.co/h1NKvUSL 7 Oct 12 … camping! http://t.co/6ZQR0Adr 7 Oct 12 … camping! http://t.co/SyPucEWM 5 Oct 12 … I think I killed them. http://t.co/WGLKKVzl 5 Oct 12 … swings. http://t.co/U3XzEqxb 5 Oct 12 … #kingofthemountain. http://t.co/4753ezjX 5 Oct 12 … first hike. http://t.co/o9SBiEQI 4 Oct 12 … my wife just mistook Yoda for an Ewok. divorce proceedings begin on Tuesday. #seewhatihavetoputupwith #starwars 4 Oct 12 … hiding from #Debate2012 tonight. someone let me know if Dewey defeats Truman. 4 Oct 12 … watching the last 90 minutes of #Olympics coverage, the “London Gold” clipshow. warning: NBC’s coverage does NOT get better with age. 2 Oct 12 … #nats win the division, #redsox are 24 games back in theirs. #upisdown #blackiswhite #dogsandcatslivingtogether #masshysteria 1 Oct 12 … Pocoyo might be the best show on tv right now, and it’s on NickJr. not sure what that says about the state of television. #fb 29 Sep 12 … manchester united, ftw! #coys 28 Sep 12 … nirvana is Friday night, wife, son, Mac and Cheese, and a daughter who loves the Muppet Movie. #fb 26 Sep 12 … I’ve been taxiing around Atlanta’s runways long enough that I’m pretty sure we’ve crossed into Alabama. #fb 26 Sep 12 … pretty sure I’m the only person who followed watching @BarackObama’s full speech to the UN with the latest episode of #AmericanChopper. 24 Sep 12 … are they really “friends” if they come to your house and teach your child the chicken dance? #fb 23 Sep 12 … so glad my wife is a tequila snob. #fb -
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archive: the year in tweets, 2011-2012
14 Sep 12 … someday my daughter will stop dancing in the kitchen, and that will make me sad. #fb 13 Sep 12 … #biggerontheinside. 12 Sep 12 … p.s. has NBC’s Animal Practice been canceled yet?!? #GodIHopeSo #Olympics 12 Sep 12 … damn, I didn’t miss NBC’s shoddy editing of the #Olympics. wonder if I can move out of the country before #Sochi2014. #TivoDelay 11 Sep 12 … #Sparklet just said she wants to watch the #Olympics. so proud. and so happy I still have 5 hours banked on ye ole TiVo. 11 Sep 12 … someone at NBC has a sense of humor. their Sports Network is showing Rocky IV. #DNC2012 #ICanSeeRomneyFromMyFrontPorch 7 Sep 12 … i don’t have a single meeting, call or conference on my calendar for today. #PinchMe #OhThankGod 26 Aug 12 … overheard: “you’re a silly meatball!” reply: “no, I’m a pain in the tuckus!” 25 Aug 12 … #chillaxed. http://t.co/N5WGzZrm 24 Aug 12 … winding down #keepdaddyfromworkday. http://t.co/lxrib8mo 24 Aug 12 … Greatest. Exhibit. Ever. #ArtOfVideoGames. http://t.co/7Wx8A0JI 24 Aug 12 … #NotImpressed. http://t.co/xnWE9g8a 24 Aug 12 … #alwaysthegentleman. http://t.co/7UzRsgIN 24 Aug 12 … start of #keepdaddyfromworkday, part two. http://t.co/KPd0rcvf 24 Aug 12 … end of #KeepDaddyFromWorkDay, part one. http://t.co/Fah9Kr0I 24 Aug 12 … #GoodEgg. http://t.co/Blg3s4zO 24 Aug 12 … Hirschorn. (#sp?) http://t.co/rzv5DSzo 24 Aug 12 … #Jump #Jump! http://t.co/seUA8J5Y 24 Aug 12 … #KidFriendly. http://t.co/YEpbj1J5 24 Aug 12 … #NoChildLeftBehind. http://t.co/ippKZXkM 24 Aug 12 … #NoExit. http://t.co/9RueQQc0 24 Aug 12 … #WheelsOnTheBus. http://t.co/XUPyZLLT 24 Aug 12 … #SharingIsCaring. http://t.co/8QBiCwDT 23 Aug 12 … #VamosUnited! http://t.co/LCegIcts 22 Aug 12 … saw a “bike lanes aren’t parking spaces” sign on a passing bike, and now want a “stop lights aren’t just for cars” sign for myself. #fb 21 Aug 12 … I’m cheesed that the #Nats are doing so well, mainly because it distracts me from the ^%?!$&* #RedSox. 18 Aug 12 … #COYS. 17 Aug 12 … I’m freaked out by all the “back to school” ads on tv, which is odd considering #Sparklet is 3 years away from kindergarten. #NotGood 14 Aug 12 … you know it’s going to be a terrible day when you wake up with “We Built This City” stuck in your head. #deargodwhyhaththouforsakenme 20 Jul 12 … overheard, this morning: “I have nipples. They’re under my shirt.” 6 Jul 12 … tonight, my daughter called me a “silly meatball.” sadly, I have no clue what that means. 28 May 12 … the baby updates are back in business. http://t.co/m4ipIvMR 9 Apr 12 … i’m 10 days late on the birth announcement, but it’s a boy! two weeks early but still 8 lbs, 12 oz and 21 in. http://t.co/wvz2yYi8 1 Apr 12 … I just finished The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins on Kindle. 31 Mar 12 … I just finished Whatever You Do, Don’t Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide by Peter Allison on Kindle. 24 Mar 12 … my 2 year old daughter sang Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” today. ask me now why i’ve banned childrens’ music from our house. ask me. 24 Mar 12 … i just finished reading My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler on Kindle — http://t.co/VLwH9QxL 21 Mar 12 … I just finished Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson on Kindle. 18 Mar 12 … I just finished A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson. 5 Mar 12 … jury duty. 4th time in 6 years, because I'm a DC resident. can I have a meaningful vote in Congress now, please? 25 Feb 12 … sparklet just dragged the kitchen trash can and a box of trash bags into the dining room, so she could “help” put a new liner in. 4 Feb 12 … found a sixer of hopslam for superbowl weekend. I’ve already lost feeling in my face in anticipation. 2 Feb 12 … my daughter is rockin’ out to Aerosmith. oh, God, why hath thou forsaken me!?! 16 Jan 12 … sparklet reviews my childhood worth of music — http://t.co/4ToqPc5Q 5 Jan 12 … normal neighbors ask for a cup of sugar. my neighbor asks for a cup of wiskey. i love this place. 4 Jan 12 … four straight hours of watching #StorageWars on tv. where did my life go wrong?!? 1 Jan 12 … I just finished Heat: An Amateur Cook in a Professional Kitchen by Bill Buford on my Kindle. 25 Dec 11 … just finished “Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue” by Charlie Pierce. http://t.co/y0YIGAzn #Kindle 18 Dec 11 … in new york for a little pre-holiday vacay. follow the excitement, we’re blogging live. http://t.co/VfZrzkw3 15 Nov 11 … it’s amazing what $12 of beer will do to your disposition. 29 Oct 11 … sparklet appears to be growing up (http://t.co/wgt9SHFP). 9 Oct 11 … #pregnant. (http://t.co/wgt9SHFP) 5 Oct 11 … drinking isn’t the same without @salsus and @dquerey 🙂 25 Sep 11 … sparklet is throwing balls at the head of my parent's dog while yelling, "Goal!" … i <3 this on so many levels. -
live(ish): olympic aftermath
as of the end of the closing ceremony, i was only about 50 hours behind in my olympics coverage — which, frankly, is a record. i’m typically still clearing through the last few days of events long after people have forgotten they even occurred.-
evancparker… p.s. has NBC’s Animal Practice been canceled yet?!? #GodIHopeSo #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker… damn, I didn’t miss NBC’s shoddy editing of the #Olympics. wonder if I can move out of the country before #Sochi2014. #TivoDelay
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evancparker… #Sparklet just said she wants to watch the #Olympics. so proud. and so happy I still have 5 hours banked on ye ole TiVo.
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evancparker… 9 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and holy crap this women’s boxing thing is for realz. #DidntGetTheMemo
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evancparker… still 16 hours of #Olympics coverage left on my tivo, and race walking looks like a scene from a Will Farrell movie.
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evancparker… 20 hours of #Olympics left, and I swear all of it is platform diving. ps. the divers’ towels are stupidly small. wtf?!?
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evancparker… 48 hours after the #Olympics concluded, and I’m not missing Ryan Seacrest at all. #Nope #NotEvenALittle #NuhUh
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evancparker… 31 hours of #Olympics left, but in case you forgot the gymnastics commentators are still #Harpies. #FireElfiSchlegel
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evancparker… 39 hours of #Olympics left. i’d lose my gourd as a handball goalie if getting scored on “just” 26 times was considered good. #Brutal
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evancparker … 42 hours of #Olympics left on TiVo, and my 2 y.o. (#Sparklet) wants to watch nothing but rhythmic gymnastics. #GodHelpMe
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live: closing ceremony
it’s not over — i’ve got 52 hours of coverage stacked up on my Tivo — but it’s close enough for government’s sake. or, olympics sake. oh, yes. the closing ceremonies.-
evancparker … the Olympic afterglow ends real quick when you realize we’ve been dumped into the last 90 days of a presidential election again.
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MartinCloake: Despite tonight, #olympics2012 have been great and restored my faith in Britain. I’ll treat tonight as a massive memory loss
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker … meh, I always liked the winter #Olympics better anyway.
11 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … is #kate on a date with #harry? #WTF #closingceremony
14 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … “when our time came, we did it right.” #HereHere #closingceremony #london2012
17 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … okay, I agree with the “wonderful city” bit. #london2012 #closingceremony #Olympics
19 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … pele. #DidntSeeThatComing #closingceremony #Olympics
23 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … #done. I’m now officially ready for #Rio2016. #closingceremony #Olympics
30 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “should I be following your tweets? what’s your name again?!?” #closingceremony #Olympics
35 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … still the best. cauldron. ever. #london2012 #closingceremony
36 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … wait, #Rio2016 ? #considerpants! #closingceremony #Olympics
40 mins ago Reply
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evancparker @oliviiadrrew @mynameiskels3y … I know ur parents, fwiw. 🙂
45 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “They’ve got something for everyone, so long as you’re old and white.” #closingceremony
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evancparker … #considerpants! #considerpants! #closingceremony
47 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … old white people #rock!!! #closingceremony #Olympics
49 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … just what I was thinking. #NeedsMoreFreddieMercury #closingceremony #Olympics
52 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … Monty Python = #awesome. Phil Collins = #awesomer. #closingceremony #Olympics (ht @mikedebonis)
58 mins ago Reply
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evancparker … how is it that #wonderwall is the bit that annoys me the least? #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … for a reunion, one of them should actually be singing, right? #SpiceGirls #closingceremony #Olympics
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evancparker … which spice is which?!? #WTF #closingceremony #Olympics #SpiceGirls
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evancparker … from my wife: “Did they just say #SpiceGirls? Time to drink.” #closingceremony #Olympics
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evancparker … awesome. #GlowInTheDarkBra #closingceremony #Olympics
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evancparker … from my wife: “Wait, she doesn’t have any pants on?!?” #considerpants #JessieJ #closingceremony #Olympics
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evancparker RT @texasinafrica: Jessie J, it’s time to #considerpants.
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evancparker … what better sentiment than #money #money #money for the #closingceremony. #Olympics #awesome
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evancparker … sure, Fatboy Slim in inflatable octopus. why not?!? #closingceremony #Olympics
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evancparker … Russell Brand as Wiily Wonka definitely makes as much sense as anything I’ve seen so far. #IAmTheWalrus #closingceremony #Olympics
1 hour ago Reply
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evancparker … is “Wish You Were Here” a nice sentiment, or a curse? #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MoElleithee: Can’t wait for the Austin Powers tribute in the closing ceremonies!
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … Annie Lennox? i’m guessing old, dead white people are the target audience of this #closingceremony. #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … now hoping for “Life on Mars.” #closingceremony @MarsCuriosity #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … hoping for “Anarchy in the UK.” #SexPistols #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @MoElleithee: Wow. So cool. It looks like they got George Michaels’ grandfather to sing at the closing ceremonies!
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “where did they find him!?!” #GeorgeMichael #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … wait, John Lennon was British? #closingceremony
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … dare I say #TeamUSA looks classy in all white? #WhereAreTheCowboyHats? #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … #MightyQuinn. http://t.co/szoMQyfU
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @texasinafrica: Many tweeps insisting that Stomp came from Brighton. Okay. But I find the idea of culture originating in Brighton a bit dubious.
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … my 4 mo. old (#MightyQuinn) just started bawling hysterically when One Direction took the stage. #MeToo #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “well, I have high hopes for Rio.” #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … @BBC_TopGear must have been ecstatic about the exploding Reliant Robin. #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … from my wife: “Brits are weird, Rory.” #closingceremony #Olympics
2 hours ago Reply
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live(ish): the final weekend
we’re getting close to the end — well, at least the rest of the world is. i’m already 40+ hours behind in my coverage, and my TiVo is starting to struggle under the weight of the 8-10 hour episodes that are backing up on the hard drive.the good news is that if i fast forward through any sport with mean, uninformed, or inane commentary then i should be caught up in no time.
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evancparker … sigh. #RhythmicGymnastics #Olympics #TivoDelay
3 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … doc rivers: “It’s okay now to cheer for LeBron.” #Never #Never #Never
4 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … just checked TiVo and I’m officially 52 hours behind in #Olympics coverage. #£?!$&@
4 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … strapping in for #closingceremony but NBC has 90 min clip show of #TeamUSA #Olympics gold?!? #NBCFAIL #FireRyanSeacrest
4 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … looking fwrd to #closingceremony after following @texasinafrica @Spooky23 @MartinCloake for last 2 hrs. #Cracktastic #Olympics
4 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … thank you, @kdtrey5 and @cp3. #SavedOurBacon #TeamUSA #Olympics
6 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … boy, #TeamUSA men’s bb sure kept things interesting today. holy “unnecessary drama” batman. #Olympics
6 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … which part of the modern pentathlon is, um, modern? fencing? #SoManyQuestions #Olympics
8 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … it’s much harder to live tweet the #Olympics when your daughter refuses to stop playing #MonkeyPreschoolLunchbox on the iPad.
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … if I ever have to watch another chest-thumping sprinter introduction at this #Olympics it will be too soon.
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … my 2 y.o. doesn’t like #SynchronizedSwimming. “They’re being CRAZY.” #DamnSkippy #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … think #TeamUSA women’s water polo and soccer should count as 13 (or 18) medals towards the medal count instead of just one. #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … OMG they are in teams now, throwing beach balls with their pelvises. #DoYouBelieveInMiracles #RhythmicGymnastics #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … it’s not a sport until you’re bathed in glitter and tossing a hula hoop around. #RhythmicGymnastics #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … feeling like it might be time to streamline some of the 243 rowing events. #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … anybody know a synchronized swimmer? have a super-intense, stepford wives level of crazy image in my head. #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … what type of person wakes up one day and says “I should try synchronized swimming?” #Stumped #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … does BMX make the #Olympics look bad, or the X Games look good? discuss.
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … women’s wrestling definitely more fun to watch than men’s but #StillNotFun. #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … I <3 hope solo, at least when she’s not shooting her mouth off. #Olympics #TivoDelay
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … the 2nd week of the #Olympics is when I always start falling behind the live coverage. just cleared USA v CCCP off my #TiVo.
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … tae kwon do? #MckaylaIsNotImpressed
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … life lesson: don’t mess with a female Swedish wrestler. #Olympics #TivoDelay
3 days ago Reply
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live: olympics, week two
i always start falling behind in the second week. intentions to watch 21+ hours of coverage a day, however good, start to wear thin in the face of other priorities — like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom.thank god i have two years until the winter games in Sochi to catch up.
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evancparker … um, you realize ur saying this on twitter, right? MT @MoElleithee: DAMN YOU INTERNET! Is there no place safe from Olympic spoilers?
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … could we stop referring to all female winners as “golden girls”? was anyone else watching tv in the 80s? #NotACompliment #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … um, BMX at the #Olympics? duuuude, tooootally didn’t see that coming.
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … I’d be less irked by Usain Bolt beating his chest (over and over) if he was winning the decathlon instead of just the 100m. #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … seriously, more horse jumping? is this an event, or a pain tolerance experiment for NBC’s three remaining viewers? #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … had no idea Lolo Jones has “haters.” fwiw, it’s cozy here under this rock. #TeamUSA #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … girls done good. #Gymnastics #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker RT @kbrick: Aly Raisman’s parents are as entertaining to watch as she is. #Olympics #London2012
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … gymnast kissing the vault? #Awesome. high jumpers taunting the crossbar? #Awesomer. #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … I’m 80 mins behind but will be there soon if I skip all the parts where the commentators are being #Harpies. #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … #TeamGB‘s Tweddle was stunning on the uneven bars. I literally gasped. #Amazing #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … can we talk about Grenada without mentioning the 1983 invasion? does a country exist if we haven’t invaded them? don’t answer that.
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … “interesting that Gabby Douglas choose to wear silver.” #FireAlTrautwig #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … just found out my youngest was the same exact weight as a regulation shotput when he was born. #BestWifeEver #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … are there quality badminton racquets, or do the national teams just pick up some from Kmart like the rest of us? #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … hammer throw is a real sport?!? I totally thought it was a Scottish drinking game. #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … I secretly love the steeplechase, and i’m pretty sure it’s because of Robbie the Reindeer. #TeamGB #BBC #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … i’ve officially OD’ed on beach volleyball. need to watch monk tipping, burka racing or anything on the Hallmark channel. #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … top medal sport for #Mexico in the history of the #Olympics? Diving. #HadNoClue #BoyTheyreGood
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … just took meds with #beer because no water was within reach. bad sign? yeah, bad sign.
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … now, more than ever, the answer is clear: #FireTimDaggett // #NBCFAIL #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … tired of these :30 cliffnote versions of track/field events. if that’s what I wanted I’d follow the #Olympics on Twitter. Oh, wait.
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … #TeamGB winning cycling medals is becoming about as exciting as watching China win diving medals. #Srsly #Again #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … if #TeamUSA men’s BB keeps surging in the 2nd half to win, think they could just do it in the 1st half and save us the drama? #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … un-#$%&@#-believable #NeverGiveUp #USAvCAN #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … rolling heart-attack #DrinkingHeavily #TeamUSA #USAvCAN #Olympics #TivoDelay
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … so, is Hope Solo going to blame Brandi Chastain if #TeamUSA loses? #Likely #USAvCAN #Olympics #TivoDelay
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … is it possible for BOTH France and S Korea to lose and be knocked out? #RootingForTheRefs #FRAvKOR #Olympics #TivoDelay
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … “the more you tweet, the worse you run.” definately true in my case. #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … how stoked would my 2 y.o. be if given a stick and told it’s okay to thwack the bejezzus out of a ball. #FieldHockey #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … thank god the Magna Carta wasn’t decided on penalty kicks. #GBRvKOR #TeamGB #Olympics #TivoDelay
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … i always freak when i see #TeamGB/#England tied in a knockout tourney match #BadJuju http://t.co/W5IIwR61 #Olympics #TivoDelay
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … not sure I’m following this #100m as rockstar meme. don’t see that bravado from the #10000m medalists. #Olympics
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker … judges should have to land the vault themselves before giving out a zero. watching them face-plant would be okay too. #Olympics
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker … in 2016, I think i’ll pass on NBC’s coverage of the #Olympics, and just follow @SamuelLJackson instead.
6 days ago Reply
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evancparker … NBC is so #%£?! short of events they lead off with 30 min Phelps flufferview re: his golf game? anything else happen today? #NBCFAIL
13 hours ago Reply
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live: three day weekend of awesomeness
i took today off from work — hypotetically because it was my flex day, mostly so sparklet and i could go for a bike ride, but secretly so that i could blow through a dozen hours of olympic coverage (relatively) undisturbed.giggedy-giggedy.
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evancparker … do you think real #Olympics athletes use frozen vegetables to ice down injuries? http://t.co/zziruPum
16 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … a freak foot injury and loving wife means I watched #TeamUSA women’s vball and w polo w/o interruption. #PlanningMoreInjuries #Olympics
16 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … is horse jumping really the best NBC can offer on a Sunday afternoon? #Doubtful #Olympics
19 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … synchronized swimming freaks me out. #StopSmiling #LessMakeup #Olympics
19 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … NBC finally gets something right (feature on #OlgaKorbut) but I can’t share the video ’cause they didn’t post it online. #NBCFAIL
20 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … I had completely forgotten about Derek Redmond in ’92 #Perseverance #Olympics http://t.co/megGFUU8
21 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … #holycrapandymurrayisgoingtowin. #Olympics #TeamGB
22 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … How do I get the job driving the remote control discus retrieval car at the #Olympics? http://t.co/tmWGL8mu #OMGthatisAwesome
22 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … jess ennis, mo farah, brad wiggins. it’s a good time to be a Brit. #AndyMurray #TeamGB #Olympics
23 hours ago Reply
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evancparker RT @davidconnell: Come on, Murray!! #Olympics
23 hours ago Reply
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evancparker … did NBC skip events 5 and 6 of the heptathlon? I watched 16+ hours of coverage today and I never saw it. #Sigh #Olympics
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … “once again, the Pryce is right.” #GROAN #100m #Olympics
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … winning one of 3 medals from Jamaica in the #100m would be progress, right? #Olympics #TivoDelay
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … the incredible shrinking long jump http://t.co/4qZZ8V3O #Olympics
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … Red Hot Chili Pipers is to Scotland as _____ is to the United States. Answer? Snookie. #NBCFAIL
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … “and the equestrian fans go wild!” wait, what?!? #Olympics #TivoDelay
1 day ago Reply
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evancparker … never so happy to see an American get silver. #MoFarah #10000m #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … double amputee qualifies (easily!) in the 400. http://t.co/99EG0yx3 #MindBlown #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … NBC airs four of the 7 heptathlon sports in just 12 minutes?!? think we’ll get more than 20 secs of the marathon? #Olympics #NBCFAIL
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … Ooo, trampoline. Double-bounce me! #sixseasonsandamovie #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … Lithuania looked really good this morning. who saw THAT coming? I mean, who besides the ’00-’04 #TeamUSA men’s Bb teams. #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … speaking of, do the Swiss have a rifle team or are they limited to competitive pole axe-ing? #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … #TeamUSA and the old Eastern Block are good at shooting things — who saw that coming? #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … Ledecky = swimming gladiator. #HolyCow #Olympics #TivoDelay
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … the #Olympics needs more people like Missy Franklin.
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … on he last lap of the 10,000 meters, Ethiopia’s Dibaba just took off like it was the pistol start of a 40. #Wow #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … track & field begins. bummed they moved the cauldron from center of stadium. would’ve made the “field” events interesting. #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … rapid fire pistol at the #Olympics?!? when do we get the Matrix-style two hands, two pistols event? #NotMakingThisUp
3 days ago Reply
live: olympics, week one
going back to work is, well, awkward.the first day back during the olympics is always the worst, facing a tivo still full from the weekend and another 16 hours that taped while you were away. the “good” news is that NBC’s coverage is just as hyperbolic and manic-depressive as ever.
time to catch up.
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evancparker … yesterday, #TeamUSA women win rowing and cycling medals, but get shafted to the post-midnight coverage? #Uncool #NBCFAIL #Olympics
2 days ago Reply
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evancparker … really, Tim. nothing that happens on the pommel horse tonight can be referred to as “catastrophic.” #Perspective #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … you’re never too young to get indoctrinated into the #Olympics http://t.co/uWiYpxH2
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … if NBC’s gymnastics commentators did beach volleyball too we’d be at Cuban missile crisis levels of histrionics right now. #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … dude, those speedos are creepy. don’t male divers need some sort of full body speed suit like the swimmers? #Olympics #TivoDelay
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … after 3rd night, sync diving is wearing thin. #BringBackCurling #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … root, root, root for the home team. #TeamGB #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … come on Bradley Wiggins #TeamGB! er, I meant, um, Tyler Phinney #TeamUSA obviously // #ImATraitor #TivoDelay #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … Kessy/Ross looked great last night, tho need a Ph D in “hand jive” to keep up with their post-point celebrations. #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker RT @nicolevins: The true star of the #olympics: @SamuelLJackson http://t.co/M49XpjyZ
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … how bad was the other team that you needed to be this obvious to throw a badminton match? http://t.co/PqjGbKvu #FacePalm #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … happy for Phelps, even if i’m exhausted by the thought of the next round of Subway commercials. #Olympics
3 days ago Reply
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evancparker … I fell asleep during the women’s floor exercise. did I miss anything? #WieberKilledIt #Olympics (ht @kbrick!)
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … note to American viewers: #tequila makes Al Trautwig almost bearable. still researching an antedote for Tim Daggett. #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … i love that 24 is considered “old” in gymnastics at the #Olympics. pretty sure that means I’m technically #dead.
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … did I just hear Al, Tim and Elfi actually defend a USA gymnast? #Harpies no more? #Olympics #FireAlTrautwig
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … here we go. try not to ruin this for me, Al. #FireAlTrautwig #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … breaking out the good tequila in honor of the Mexican #Olympics diving teams. #OlympicDrinkingTeam #DoingOurPart
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … nice to see #TeamUSA Men’s BB enjoy glad handing other team after the game. Kobe even signed some dude’s shoe. #Awesome
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … pretty sure I just watched #TeamUSA Men’s BB go on a 23-3 run with just our backups on the floor. #DoesntSeemFair #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … my 2 y.o. wants to go paddling at the #Olympics, but only when she’s “really big” because it “looks reeaaaally harrd.” #Yuppers
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … i love you Hope Solo, but get your head out of Brandi Chastain’s bottom and focus on the match at hand. #TheTruth #Olympics
4 days ago Reply
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evancparker … judo, then bed. that’s 20 #Olympics disciplines in 3 days. #SaveMeFromMyself
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … wow. if #spain‘s U23s had 1/10th the class of their senior team, it would have been a very different soccer match. #ESPvHON #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … can’t deal with men’s #Olympics gymnastics drama, so watching #ESPvHON tape. 10+ bookings not quite the calm i had in mind. #GradeSchool
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … am I horrible if I refuse to watch #Olympics men’s gymnastics team finals because I can’t deal with NBC’s commentators? #harpies
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … or, next to Al Trautwig MT @RobynOkrant: free Xanax for any spectator sitting next to the gymnasts’ parents. #OlympicImprovements
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … my wife (a swimmer) is irritated that a women’s water polo match lasts longer than 56 seconds. #Sigh. #Olympics
5 days ago Reply
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evancparker … the 1900 #Olympics featured a 200 m. “Obstacle” swim where you climbed over bars, swam under boats #BRINGITBACK http://t.co/bftQzgSz
5 days ago Reply
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To make things more dramatic/traumatic, I just realized next spring will make it 10 full years of blogging. (I started blogging the same month that I started dating my beloved wife, so a decade of blogging will clearly be the second most important anniversary celebrated that month.)
It’s stunningly hard to explain the number of things that have changed over the last ten years… and it’s hard to believe that I’m even the same person.
Speaking of, my kids are yelling at me, so I have to go.