theparkerfamily

Quisque sed purus consequat, gravida velit eu, pharetra ex.

archive: the year in tweets, 2012-2013

Saturday, 14 September 2013

13 Sep 13 … just realized I’ve been watching Dora for the last 15 minutes. both kids are asleep.
13 Sep 13 … it’s disturbing how much of my personal nomenklatura comes from @ThatKevinSmith’s “Dogma.”
7 Sep 13 … #sparklet is the tallest person in her 4 to 5 year old gymnastics class, and she’s still only 3.
2 Sep 13 … actually, happiness is having a wife who says “we don’t have any food for dinner, let’s go to a brew pub.”
2 Sep 13 … happiness is going to a brew pub and listening to the waiter politely explain to another table why they don’t serve Miller Lite.
30 Aug 13 … first day of school, ever. #sparklet #emptynestsyndrome http://t.co/S0TgiIDFGj
29 Aug 13 … a stranger just said “hello” to me in the elevator. without any apparent agenda or sense of irony. #bewildered #alternateuniverse
22 Aug 13 … #sparklet. http://t.co/ZySodHYpi7
22 Aug 13 … #mightyquinn. http://t.co/sLBpVj0fch
18 Aug 13 … “daddy, i hate coloring princesses. do we have anything else?” #ftw
17 Aug 13 … it shouldn’t take 42 minutes in @HomeDepot to figure out they don’t have a single thing you need. #FirstWorldProblems
16 Aug 13 … fatherhood is spending the entire @gracepotter concert thinking how much fun #sparklet would be having if she were here.
16 Aug 13 … @gracepotter charges The Rolling Stones royalties whenever she decides to play “Paint It Black.”
16 Aug 13 … if you’re going to block my view, I’d hope you’d dance better. #gracepotter
16 Aug 13 … @gracepotter made it through 9 songs before having to take off her 4 inch heals. #epic #grammyworthy
16 Aug 13 … I’ve never been ready to leave a concert after the “opening” act before. @Tromboneshorty #wickedmadskills
15 Aug 13 … sure y’all can hear from DC, but @tromboneshorty just ripped the lid off Wolf Trap. #nothard #butstill
15 Aug 13 … saw a girl at #GracePotter wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt. asked the police to escort her out. #somepeoplecantbetrusted
15 Aug 13 … commute from DC to the sticks to see @GracePotter took 22 minutes, and I saw two deer. win?!? win.
27 Jul 13 … finished Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. #kindle http://t.co/QOGcgcZou2
23 Jul 13 … god save the #king. http://t.co/OVYveAU49Q
20 Jul 13 … I first bought Liz Phair’s “Exile in Guyville” twenty years ago this month. #OfficiallyOldNow
19 Jul 13 … oh Framingham, oh Framingham / how lovely is thy masspike?
17 Jul 13 … my daughter sent me on my business trip with a coloring book, so I ‘d have something to do on the plane. thank you, #sparklet.
15 Jul 13 … i’m confused why Sam and Frodo haven’t gotten the love that Bert and Ernie have. does marriage equality not extend to hobbits? #racist
13 Jul 13 … spending saturday morning watching Gross Pointe Blank with my three year old. too soon?
11 Jul 13 … pro-tip to the guy at 6th and 24th: #fixies make you _less_ cool if you tip over waiting for the light to turn green.
9 Jul 13 … guessing I’m the only one feeling nostalgic for Janet Jackson’s “Love Will Never Do” video? #shewassohappythen #theysaiditwouldntlast
7 Jul 13 … in 124 days away #mightyquinn is walking, #sparklet’s going to school, we left the US, and spent 3+mo outside. http://t.co/VY0oFVuqzJ
6 Jul 13 … hast du etwas Zeit für mich dann singe ich ein Lied für dich von 99 Luftballons.
4 Jul 13 … my son just realized that we are out of beer. http://t.co/r4KUGgUvF8
30 Jun 13 … I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie.
28 Jun 13 … I’ve decided that my liver has been badly behaved this week, and needs to be punished.
28 Jun 13 … “beer is more than just a breakfast drink.”
27 Jun 13 … finished The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. #kindle http://t.co/2QvbneeWR5
23 Jun 13 … why do you build me up, buttercup, baby. #younevercallbabywhenyousayyouwill#butiloveyoustill
19 Jun 13 … finished Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. #kindle http://t.co/S5osLctV8Z
19 Jun 13 … finished The Devil in the Kitchen by Marco Pierre White. #kindle http://t.co/eXj4yVh0Lz
19 Jun 13 … it was as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. #nbafinals
19 Jun 13 … #$&% you, ray allen.
18 Jun 13 … turns out that I fish left handed, and i’m a little unsure why i’m discovering this at the age of 38. http://t.co/s3AFssr07I
17 Jun 13 … how typeface influences the way we read and think http://t.co/WOb0a5iA6g via @TheWeek
14 Jun 13 … feeling a little emo. #nokids
13 Jun 13 … my son kisses like he’s jabba the hut. #mightyquinn
12 Jun 13 … finished Just My Type: A Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield. #kindle
9 Jun 13 … the utterance that just earned me a parent of the year nomination: “rory, no more knives.”
9 Jun 13 … kids heal, bacon doesn’t un-burn.
5 Jun 13 … GoldenEye. greatest bond movie ever. discuss.
4 Jun 13 … have watched 1 hour and 13 minutes of a Coldplay concert on Palladia. don’t know whether to sing along or gnaw off my earlobes.
2 Jun 13 … finished “Ghost Train to the Eastern Star” by Paul Theroux. #kindle http://t.co/QIq1tS99X1
1 Jun 13 … #wallflower #groupies. http://t.co/mFhVz08o4d
1 Jun 13 … just saw a neighbor walking their cockatoo to the farmers market. not sure I like how my neighborhood is trending.
30 May 13 … never share a milkshake with a toddler. it’s quite literally a race to the bottom.
24 May 13 … DCA to MIA to Costa #%£$ing Rica.
15 May 13 … #bostonceltics, in training. http://t.co/WV1sCmQVw7
14 May 13 … was totally duped by Third Shift beer. shouldn’t they be required to disclose on the label that they’re a front for Miller/Coors?
13 May 13 … at DAR Hall, waiting for Anthony Bourdain to start. Based on the rest of the audience, I’m not sure this was such a good idea.
4 May 13 … to whomever gave my child the dancing Justin Bieber dog: I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I will find you.
3 May 13 … #spoilingourdinner. http://t.co/QXEhwITKCk
2 May 13 … finished Best American Science and Nature Writing 2011 by Mary Roach, Tim Folger. http://t.co/NLednGcQJf
26 Apr 13 … #keepmovingforward.
23 Apr 13 … “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.”
18 Apr 13 … I am going to Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, ftw! http://t.co/NKWbpSjPO0 via @ticketsdotcom
14 Apr 13 … #Rubenesque. http://t.co/vUmkgFvE97
14 Apr 13 … #reading. http://t.co/n1FZ1Cqmjs
14 Apr 13 … #family. http://t.co/xvtBpDgtG8
9 Apr 13 … about ready to watch my first game of the 2013 #NCAA #MarchMadness. anybody know who’s playing?
4 Apr 13 … the dude abides.
4 Apr 13 … it turned out to be a good day. feel like i should go hide in a cave to make sure it stays that way.
29 Mar 13 … I hope the ’83 Wolfpack win tonight.
27 Mar 13 … reading #books. http://t.co/ailQaN7AQU
27 Mar 13 … fear the turtle, baby. #goterps
25 Mar 13 … finally, enough #snow for a #snowman. http://t.co/GkXOzQP4n7
25 Mar 13 … Federal Gov’t closes when it doesn’t snow, stays open when it finally does. seriously.
24 Mar 13 … inspiring college students to use birth control since 2012 http://t.co/yWLaAuWrAc
24 Mar 13 … Plato’s Diner, College Park. #goterps http://t.co/PwbanSFY3P
23 Mar 13 … man, this has been a long winter. #ineverysenseoftheword
23 Mar 13 … #spring. http://t.co/cvY0y8qVwT
23 Mar 13 … #swing. http://t.co/kCImPoa17H
23 Mar 13 … #munch #munch. http://t.co/LM8RvuvAnL
23 Mar 13 … #divas. http://t.co/LevKHtqF41
23 Mar 13 … never in my years have I seen a #usmnt World Cup qualifier look like this: http://t.co/lh3JW3YRgO
20 Mar 13 … “when your enemy’s making mistakes, don’t interrupt him.”
18 Mar 13 … finished Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power by Rachel Maddow. http://t.co/N0Li2CCn7A
16 Mar 13 … maryland #terps, ftw! I’d light my couch on fire if I wasn’t sitting on it.
12 Mar 13 … my son sounds exactly like one of the Nazgûl.
11 Mar 13 … walked by a venue at #sxsw and the band was covering “Wonderwall.” If this isn’t a cry for quality control, I don’t know what is.
10 Mar 13 … until I came to Austin, I didn’t realize how much hot pants annoyed me. #sxsw #sxswi
10 Mar 13 … I shouldn’t be allowed to pick my own sessions. #sxsw
9 Mar 13 … pretty sure I just drank beer, wine, tequila, and sake in the same night. #SXSW http://t.co/xlVK6xZFci
8 Mar 13 … presenter at #sxsw is showing windows media files and using IE7. wondering if I should walk out on principle.
8 Mar 13 … just saw a sign for “breakdance services.” #iloveaustin #sxsw
6 Mar 13 … 68 degrees and sunny. eating tex-mex. miss you guys.
6 Mar 13 … DCA –> SXSW.
3 Mar 13 … #vamosunited
2 Mar 13 … staring contest. http://t.co/sc5yObm1OF
2 Mar 13 … stirring coffee. http://t.co/7zgNpyepiX
2 Mar 13 … Herndon, it’s like a whole other country.
26 Feb 13 … most annoying: Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves or @AmericanAir putting me on hold for 50 mins to fix their mistake? discuss.
23 Feb 13 … speaking of, I just admonished #sparklet for her tone when play-talking to her imaginary mother on her fake cell phone. srsly?!?
23 Feb 13 … #sparklet has imaginary pets and gets surprisingly flustered if you try and hold the actual hand that’s holding the imaginary leash.
17 Feb 13 … watching Maryland spank Duke, with my family, on a three day weekend. if life gets better than this, I don’t know how I’d handle it.
17 Feb 13 … don’t you think it’s about time for Sam and Frodo to come out of the closet together?
17 Feb 13 … your officially old when you’re having after dinner drinks at 7:15.
13 Feb 13 … my child appears to be singing “silent night.”
11 Feb 13 … i haven’t taken my heavy winter coat out of storage in ~36 months. i’m starting to think @BowmanClimate might be on to something.
8 Feb 13 … #sparklet is singing along to Adele. I am the awesomest father of a three year old, ever.
5 Feb 13 … #mightyquinn just stood up by himself, realized he had no idea what the heck he was doing, and fell over.
4 Feb 13 … $&@?, that was more more exciting than it needed to be.
21 Jan 13 … ravens, ftw!
19 Jan 13 … it’s time for the proudest of Washingtonian traditions: getting out of town before the inauguration crowds ravage the city.
10 Jan 13 … I have a strange desire to find whoever pitched “Stars in Danger: High Dive” and punch them in the nose.
1 Jan 13 … pretty sure this is the first New Years that I’m hoping the next year will be *less* exciting than the one that came before.
31 Dec 12 … #happiness is watching your family in the kitchen dance along to “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues.
25 Dec 12 … “after all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas.”
15 Dec 12 … is it weird to have a favorite Home Alone movie? yeah, probably.
14 Dec 12 … fun with toilet paper. http://t.co/cc5hsgjO
14 Dec 12 … every year I go to the White House Christmas tree and every year I’m underwhelmed. #Grinch
11 Dec 12 … Romney, with gravy. http://t.co/IHsFUztP
30 Nov 12 … Chicago. http://t.co/GyKMmdlc
25 Nov 12 … home for the holidays. http://t.co/2zZiCd0h
22 Nov 12 … thankful. http://t.co/J7xTkIyQ
22 Nov 12 … feel like I should be live tweeting the Macy’s parade. my snark deserves a wider audience than my 3 year old.
22 Nov 12 … Bring It On is a musical now? cue sound of barrel bottom being scraped.
20 Nov 12 … just realized I haven’t been in an outlet mall in nearly two years. is this what it’s like to live in the suburbs?
19 Nov 12 … “who am I. why am I here? i’m not a politician.”
18 Nov 12 … the joy of mirrored ceilings. http://t.co/LDo4a0D0
17 Nov 12 … synchronized sand scooping. http://t.co/zbVoeM0w
17 Nov 12 … puppets fear me. http://t.co/1RJxgtpF
16 Nov 12 … “Awesome. It’s like a pack of hairless Ewoks.”
16 Nov 12 … on the plane, I watched Step Up Revolution (oversexed teens grinding in Miami) to the #sparklet’s soundtrack from Annie. epic mash up.
13 Nov 12 … the blogging equivalent of the dreaded clip-show http://t.co/wgt5l7wF
11 Nov 12 … driving like a crazy toddler. http://t.co/Rz7qRbTH
11 Nov 12 … sleep is good. http://t.co/uuOhFkK3
10 Nov 12 … fishing for alligators. http://t.co/2QbR8cXz
10 Nov 12 … eating good barbecue, awash in the glow from the Walmart parking lot. welcome to Texas.
8 Nov 12 … auntie kat. http://t.co/eqWWFLcn
7 Nov 12 … at the smithsonian castle. http://t.co/HR94f4cE
7 Nov 12 … I know I should be impressed that 1700 years ago Iranians made a wine horn that looks like a gazelle, but man I #hate ancient art.
6 Nov 12 … I don’t care that the polls haven’t closed, I don’t understand why they haven’t called DC yet. #election
4 Nov 12 … “I led you here, for I am Spartacus.”
3 Nov 12 … again. http://t.co/2y4snd9e
2 Nov 12 … cousins. http://t.co/gS0YLOip
2 Nov 12 … #done. http://t.co/GC4VFEj8
2 Nov 12 … snack break. http://t.co/H96cKlx5
31 Oct 12 … rei fairy princess. http://t.co/zUJ4whUw
31 Oct 12 … Yoda is not an Ewok. http://t.co/FMlowr2e
30 Oct 12 … camping in the basement. http://t.co/HP969cVI
30 Oct 12 … “you’ve had the power to go back all along.”
28 Oct 12 … #sparklet just knocked over a drink and said, “party foul.” #neverbeenprouder
28 Oct 12 … I’ll bet you the #steelers wish they had let their wives dress them this morning. #httr
28 Oct 12 … waiting for the storm. http://t.co/olUBO6iN
28 Oct 12 … ihop! http://t.co/b66cEPxF
27 Oct 12 … pumpkins! http://t.co/zCNgCtGI
27 Oct 12 … after “extremely loud and incredibly close” last night, watching “day after tomorrow” wasn’t quite the pick-me-up I had hoped.
25 Oct 12 … based on her height at age two, #Sparklet should end up to be 6 ft tall. i fear for her future boyfriends.
17 Oct 12 … oh, wait. I’ve been watching Harry Potter on ABC Family. What have you all been watching? #debates
13 Oct 12 … thank you #nats for distracting me from how sucky it is being a #redsox fan. well, up until the collapse, when you reminded me. #fb
12 Oct 12 … I think Kate Nash’s “Do Wah Doo” might just be the perfect pop song. Even if the video is a little odd. http://t.co/7vF62A1c
7 Oct 12 … sign on pizzeria says “welcome to steelers country” but they are closed Sundays. #PoorBusinessModel
7 Oct 12 … asleep. http://t.co/h1NKvUSL
7 Oct 12 … camping! http://t.co/6ZQR0Adr
7 Oct 12 … camping! http://t.co/SyPucEWM
5 Oct 12 … I think I killed them. http://t.co/WGLKKVzl
5 Oct 12 … swings. http://t.co/U3XzEqxb
5 Oct 12 … #kingofthemountain. http://t.co/4753ezjX
5 Oct 12 … first hike. http://t.co/o9SBiEQI
4 Oct 12 … my wife just mistook Yoda for an Ewok. divorce proceedings begin on Tuesday. #seewhatihavetoputupwith #starwars
4 Oct 12 … hiding from #Debate2012 tonight. someone let me know if Dewey defeats Truman.
4 Oct 12 … watching the last 90 minutes of #Olympics coverage, the “London Gold” clipshow. warning: NBC’s coverage does NOT get better with age.
2 Oct 12 … #nats win the division, #redsox are 24 games back in theirs. #upisdown #blackiswhite #dogsandcatslivingtogether #masshysteria
1 Oct 12 … Pocoyo might be the best show on tv right now, and it’s on NickJr. not sure what that says about the state of television. #fb
29 Sep 12 … manchester united, ftw! #coys
28 Sep 12 … nirvana is Friday night, wife, son, Mac and Cheese, and a daughter who loves the Muppet Movie. #fb
26 Sep 12 … I’ve been taxiing around Atlanta’s runways long enough that I’m pretty sure we’ve crossed into Alabama. #fb
26 Sep 12 … pretty sure I’m the only person who followed watching @BarackObama’s full speech to the UN with the latest episode of #AmericanChopper.
24 Sep 12 … are they really “friends” if they come to your house and teach your child the chicken dance? #fb
23 Sep 12 … so glad my wife is a tequila snob. #fb