theparkerfamily
The quick brown fox jumped over the good, but lazy Parker family.
| 13 Sep 13 | … just realized I’ve been watching Dora for the last 15 minutes. both kids are asleep. |
| 13 Sep 13 | … it’s disturbing how much of my personal nomenklatura comes from @ThatKevinSmith’s “Dogma.” |
| 7 Sep 13 | … #sparklet is the tallest person in her 4 to 5 year old gymnastics class, and she’s still only 3. |
| 2 Sep 13 | … actually, happiness is having a wife who says “we don’t have any food for dinner, let’s go to a brew pub.” |
| 2 Sep 13 | … happiness is going to a brew pub and listening to the waiter politely explain to another table why they don’t serve Miller Lite. |
| 30 Aug 13 | … first day of school, ever. #sparklet #emptynestsyndrome http://t.co/S0TgiIDFGj |
| 29 Aug 13 | … a stranger just said “hello” to me in the elevator. without any apparent agenda or sense of irony. #bewildered #alternateuniverse |
| 22 Aug 13 | … #sparklet. http://t.co/ZySodHYpi7 |
| 22 Aug 13 | … #mightyquinn. http://t.co/sLBpVj0fch |
| 18 Aug 13 | … “daddy, i hate coloring princesses. do we have anything else?” #ftw |
| 17 Aug 13 | … it shouldn’t take 42 minutes in @HomeDepot to figure out they don’t have a single thing you need. #FirstWorldProblems |
| 16 Aug 13 | … fatherhood is spending the entire @gracepotter concert thinking how much fun #sparklet would be having if she were here. |
| 16 Aug 13 | … @gracepotter charges The Rolling Stones royalties whenever she decides to play “Paint It Black.” |
| 16 Aug 13 | … if you’re going to block my view, I’d hope you’d dance better. #gracepotter |
| 16 Aug 13 | … @gracepotter made it through 9 songs before having to take off her 4 inch heals. #epic #grammyworthy |
| 16 Aug 13 | … I’ve never been ready to leave a concert after the “opening” act before. @Tromboneshorty #wickedmadskills |
| 15 Aug 13 | … sure y’all can hear from DC, but @tromboneshorty just ripped the lid off Wolf Trap. #nothard #butstill |
| 15 Aug 13 | … saw a girl at #GracePotter wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt. asked the police to escort her out. #somepeoplecantbetrusted |
| 15 Aug 13 | … commute from DC to the sticks to see @GracePotter took 22 minutes, and I saw two deer. win?!? win. |
| 27 Jul 13 | … finished Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy. #kindle http://t.co/QOGcgcZou2 |
| 23 Jul 13 | … god save the #king. http://t.co/OVYveAU49Q |
| 20 Jul 13 | … I first bought Liz Phair’s “Exile in Guyville” twenty years ago this month. #OfficiallyOldNow |
| 19 Jul 13 | … oh Framingham, oh Framingham / how lovely is thy masspike? |
| 17 Jul 13 | … my daughter sent me on my business trip with a coloring book, so I ‘d have something to do on the plane. thank you, #sparklet. |
| 15 Jul 13 | … i’m confused why Sam and Frodo haven’t gotten the love that Bert and Ernie have. does marriage equality not extend to hobbits? #racist |
| 13 Jul 13 | … spending saturday morning watching Gross Pointe Blank with my three year old. too soon? |
| 11 Jul 13 | … pro-tip to the guy at 6th and 24th: #fixies make you _less_ cool if you tip over waiting for the light to turn green. |
| 9 Jul 13 | … guessing I’m the only one feeling nostalgic for Janet Jackson’s “Love Will Never Do” video? #shewassohappythen #theysaiditwouldntlast |
| 7 Jul 13 | … in 124 days away #mightyquinn is walking, #sparklet’s going to school, we left the US, and spent 3+mo outside. http://t.co/VY0oFVuqzJ |
| 6 Jul 13 | … hast du etwas Zeit für mich dann singe ich ein Lied für dich von 99 Luftballons. |
| 4 Jul 13 | … my son just realized that we are out of beer. http://t.co/r4KUGgUvF8 |
| 30 Jun 13 | … I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie, I want to like this movie. |
| 28 Jun 13 | … I’ve decided that my liver has been badly behaved this week, and needs to be punished. |
| 28 Jun 13 | … “beer is more than just a breakfast drink.” |
| 27 Jun 13 | … finished The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. #kindle http://t.co/2QvbneeWR5 |
| 23 Jun 13 | … why do you build me up, buttercup, baby. #younevercallbabywhenyousayyouwill#butiloveyoustill |
| 19 Jun 13 | … finished Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. #kindle http://t.co/S5osLctV8Z |
| 19 Jun 13 | … finished The Devil in the Kitchen by Marco Pierre White. #kindle http://t.co/eXj4yVh0Lz |
| 19 Jun 13 | … it was as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. #nbafinals |
| 19 Jun 13 | … #$&% you, ray allen. |
| 18 Jun 13 | … turns out that I fish left handed, and i’m a little unsure why i’m discovering this at the age of 38. http://t.co/s3AFssr07I |
| 17 Jun 13 | … how typeface influences the way we read and think http://t.co/WOb0a5iA6g via @TheWeek |
| 14 Jun 13 | … feeling a little emo. #nokids |
| 13 Jun 13 | … my son kisses like he’s jabba the hut. #mightyquinn |
| 12 Jun 13 | … finished Just My Type: A Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield. #kindle |
| 9 Jun 13 | … the utterance that just earned me a parent of the year nomination: “rory, no more knives.” |
| 9 Jun 13 | … kids heal, bacon doesn’t un-burn. |
| 5 Jun 13 | … GoldenEye. greatest bond movie ever. discuss. |
| 4 Jun 13 | … have watched 1 hour and 13 minutes of a Coldplay concert on Palladia. don’t know whether to sing along or gnaw off my earlobes. |
| 2 Jun 13 | … finished “Ghost Train to the Eastern Star” by Paul Theroux. #kindle http://t.co/QIq1tS99X1 |
| 1 Jun 13 | … #wallflower #groupies. http://t.co/mFhVz08o4d |
| 1 Jun 13 | … just saw a neighbor walking their cockatoo to the farmers market. not sure I like how my neighborhood is trending. |
| 30 May 13 | … never share a milkshake with a toddler. it’s quite literally a race to the bottom. |
| 24 May 13 | … DCA to MIA to Costa #%£$ing Rica. |
| 15 May 13 | … #bostonceltics, in training. http://t.co/WV1sCmQVw7 |
| 14 May 13 | … was totally duped by Third Shift beer. shouldn’t they be required to disclose on the label that they’re a front for Miller/Coors? |
| 13 May 13 | … at DAR Hall, waiting for Anthony Bourdain to start. Based on the rest of the audience, I’m not sure this was such a good idea. |
| 4 May 13 | … to whomever gave my child the dancing Justin Bieber dog: I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I will find you. |
| 3 May 13 | … #spoilingourdinner. http://t.co/QXEhwITKCk |
| 2 May 13 | … finished Best American Science and Nature Writing 2011 by Mary Roach, Tim Folger. http://t.co/NLednGcQJf |
| 26 Apr 13 | … #keepmovingforward. |
| 23 Apr 13 | … “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” |
| 18 Apr 13 | … I am going to Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, ftw! http://t.co/NKWbpSjPO0 via @ticketsdotcom |
| 14 Apr 13 | … #Rubenesque. http://t.co/vUmkgFvE97 |
| 14 Apr 13 | … #reading. http://t.co/n1FZ1Cqmjs |
| 14 Apr 13 | … #family. http://t.co/xvtBpDgtG8 |
| 9 Apr 13 | … about ready to watch my first game of the 2013 #NCAA #MarchMadness. anybody know who’s playing? |
| 4 Apr 13 | … the dude abides. |
| 4 Apr 13 | … it turned out to be a good day. feel like i should go hide in a cave to make sure it stays that way. |
| 29 Mar 13 | … I hope the ’83 Wolfpack win tonight. |
| 27 Mar 13 | … reading #books. http://t.co/ailQaN7AQU |
| 27 Mar 13 | … fear the turtle, baby. #goterps |
| 25 Mar 13 | … finally, enough #snow for a #snowman. http://t.co/GkXOzQP4n7 |
| 25 Mar 13 | … Federal Gov’t closes when it doesn’t snow, stays open when it finally does. seriously. |
| 24 Mar 13 | … inspiring college students to use birth control since 2012 http://t.co/yWLaAuWrAc |
| 24 Mar 13 | … Plato’s Diner, College Park. #goterps http://t.co/PwbanSFY3P |
| 23 Mar 13 | … man, this has been a long winter. #ineverysenseoftheword |
| 23 Mar 13 | … #spring. http://t.co/cvY0y8qVwT |
| 23 Mar 13 | … #swing. http://t.co/kCImPoa17H |
| 23 Mar 13 | … #munch #munch. http://t.co/LM8RvuvAnL |
| 23 Mar 13 | … #divas. http://t.co/LevKHtqF41 |
| 23 Mar 13 | … never in my years have I seen a #usmnt World Cup qualifier look like this: http://t.co/lh3JW3YRgO |
| 20 Mar 13 | … “when your enemy’s making mistakes, don’t interrupt him.” |
| 18 Mar 13 | … finished Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power by Rachel Maddow. http://t.co/N0Li2CCn7A |
| 16 Mar 13 | … maryland #terps, ftw! I’d light my couch on fire if I wasn’t sitting on it. |
| 12 Mar 13 | … my son sounds exactly like one of the Nazgûl. |
| 11 Mar 13 | … walked by a venue at #sxsw and the band was covering “Wonderwall.” If this isn’t a cry for quality control, I don’t know what is. |
| 10 Mar 13 | … until I came to Austin, I didn’t realize how much hot pants annoyed me. #sxsw #sxswi |
| 10 Mar 13 | … I shouldn’t be allowed to pick my own sessions. #sxsw |
| 9 Mar 13 | … pretty sure I just drank beer, wine, tequila, and sake in the same night. #SXSW http://t.co/xlVK6xZFci |
| 8 Mar 13 | … presenter at #sxsw is showing windows media files and using IE7. wondering if I should walk out on principle. |
| 8 Mar 13 | … just saw a sign for “breakdance services.” #iloveaustin #sxsw |
| 6 Mar 13 | … 68 degrees and sunny. eating tex-mex. miss you guys. |
| 6 Mar 13 | … DCA –> SXSW. |
| 3 Mar 13 | … #vamosunited |
| 2 Mar 13 | … staring contest. http://t.co/sc5yObm1OF |
| 2 Mar 13 | … stirring coffee. http://t.co/7zgNpyepiX |
| 2 Mar 13 | … Herndon, it’s like a whole other country. |
| 26 Feb 13 | … most annoying: Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves or @AmericanAir putting me on hold for 50 mins to fix their mistake? discuss. |
| 23 Feb 13 | … speaking of, I just admonished #sparklet for her tone when play-talking to her imaginary mother on her fake cell phone. srsly?!? |
| 23 Feb 13 | … #sparklet has imaginary pets and gets surprisingly flustered if you try and hold the actual hand that’s holding the imaginary leash. |
| 17 Feb 13 | … watching Maryland spank Duke, with my family, on a three day weekend. if life gets better than this, I don’t know how I’d handle it. |
| 17 Feb 13 | … don’t you think it’s about time for Sam and Frodo to come out of the closet together? |
| 17 Feb 13 | … your officially old when you’re having after dinner drinks at 7:15. |
| 13 Feb 13 | … my child appears to be singing “silent night.” |
| 11 Feb 13 | … i haven’t taken my heavy winter coat out of storage in ~36 months. i’m starting to think @BowmanClimate might be on to something. |
| 8 Feb 13 | … #sparklet is singing along to Adele. I am the awesomest father of a three year old, ever. |
| 5 Feb 13 | … #mightyquinn just stood up by himself, realized he had no idea what the heck he was doing, and fell over. |
| 4 Feb 13 | … $&@?, that was more more exciting than it needed to be. |
| 21 Jan 13 | … ravens, ftw! |
| 19 Jan 13 | … it’s time for the proudest of Washingtonian traditions: getting out of town before the inauguration crowds ravage the city. |
| 10 Jan 13 | … I have a strange desire to find whoever pitched “Stars in Danger: High Dive” and punch them in the nose. |
| 1 Jan 13 | … pretty sure this is the first New Years that I’m hoping the next year will be *less* exciting than the one that came before. |
| 31 Dec 12 | … #happiness is watching your family in the kitchen dance along to “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. |
| 25 Dec 12 | … “after all, there’s only one more sleep til Christmas.” |
| 15 Dec 12 | … is it weird to have a favorite Home Alone movie? yeah, probably. |
| 14 Dec 12 | … fun with toilet paper. http://t.co/cc5hsgjO |
| 14 Dec 12 | … every year I go to the White House Christmas tree and every year I’m underwhelmed. #Grinch |
| 11 Dec 12 | … Romney, with gravy. http://t.co/IHsFUztP |
| 30 Nov 12 | … Chicago. http://t.co/GyKMmdlc |
| 25 Nov 12 | … home for the holidays. http://t.co/2zZiCd0h |
| 22 Nov 12 | … thankful. http://t.co/J7xTkIyQ |
| 22 Nov 12 | … feel like I should be live tweeting the Macy’s parade. my snark deserves a wider audience than my 3 year old. |
| 22 Nov 12 | … Bring It On is a musical now? cue sound of barrel bottom being scraped. |
| 20 Nov 12 | … just realized I haven’t been in an outlet mall in nearly two years. is this what it’s like to live in the suburbs? |
| 19 Nov 12 | … “who am I. why am I here? i’m not a politician.” |
| 18 Nov 12 | … the joy of mirrored ceilings. http://t.co/LDo4a0D0 |
| 17 Nov 12 | … synchronized sand scooping. http://t.co/zbVoeM0w |
| 17 Nov 12 | … puppets fear me. http://t.co/1RJxgtpF |
| 16 Nov 12 | … “Awesome. It’s like a pack of hairless Ewoks.” |
| 16 Nov 12 | … on the plane, I watched Step Up Revolution (oversexed teens grinding in Miami) to the #sparklet’s soundtrack from Annie. epic mash up. |
| 13 Nov 12 | … the blogging equivalent of the dreaded clip-show http://t.co/wgt5l7wF |
| 11 Nov 12 | … driving like a crazy toddler. http://t.co/Rz7qRbTH |
| 11 Nov 12 | … sleep is good. http://t.co/uuOhFkK3 |
| 10 Nov 12 | … fishing for alligators. http://t.co/2QbR8cXz |
| 10 Nov 12 | … eating good barbecue, awash in the glow from the Walmart parking lot. welcome to Texas. |
| 8 Nov 12 | … auntie kat. http://t.co/eqWWFLcn |
| 7 Nov 12 | … at the smithsonian castle. http://t.co/HR94f4cE |
| 7 Nov 12 | … I know I should be impressed that 1700 years ago Iranians made a wine horn that looks like a gazelle, but man I #hate ancient art. |
| 6 Nov 12 | … I don’t care that the polls haven’t closed, I don’t understand why they haven’t called DC yet. #election |
| 4 Nov 12 | … “I led you here, for I am Spartacus.” |
| 3 Nov 12 | … again. http://t.co/2y4snd9e |
| 2 Nov 12 | … cousins. http://t.co/gS0YLOip |
| 2 Nov 12 | … #done. http://t.co/GC4VFEj8 |
| 2 Nov 12 | … snack break. http://t.co/H96cKlx5 |
| 31 Oct 12 | … rei fairy princess. http://t.co/zUJ4whUw |
| 31 Oct 12 | … Yoda is not an Ewok. http://t.co/FMlowr2e |
| 30 Oct 12 | … camping in the basement. http://t.co/HP969cVI |
| 30 Oct 12 | … “you’ve had the power to go back all along.” |
| 28 Oct 12 | … #sparklet just knocked over a drink and said, “party foul.” #neverbeenprouder |
| 28 Oct 12 | … I’ll bet you the #steelers wish they had let their wives dress them this morning. #httr |
| 28 Oct 12 | … waiting for the storm. http://t.co/olUBO6iN |
| 28 Oct 12 | … ihop! http://t.co/b66cEPxF |
| 27 Oct 12 | … pumpkins! http://t.co/zCNgCtGI |
| 27 Oct 12 | … after “extremely loud and incredibly close” last night, watching “day after tomorrow” wasn’t quite the pick-me-up I had hoped. |
| 25 Oct 12 | … based on her height at age two, #Sparklet should end up to be 6 ft tall. i fear for her future boyfriends. |
| 17 Oct 12 | … oh, wait. I’ve been watching Harry Potter on ABC Family. What have you all been watching? #debates |
| 13 Oct 12 | … thank you #nats for distracting me from how sucky it is being a #redsox fan. well, up until the collapse, when you reminded me. #fb |
| 12 Oct 12 | … I think Kate Nash’s “Do Wah Doo” might just be the perfect pop song. Even if the video is a little odd. http://t.co/7vF62A1c |
| 7 Oct 12 | … sign on pizzeria says “welcome to steelers country” but they are closed Sundays. #PoorBusinessModel |
| 7 Oct 12 | … asleep. http://t.co/h1NKvUSL |
| 7 Oct 12 | … camping! http://t.co/6ZQR0Adr |
| 7 Oct 12 | … camping! http://t.co/SyPucEWM |
| 5 Oct 12 | … I think I killed them. http://t.co/WGLKKVzl |
| 5 Oct 12 | … swings. http://t.co/U3XzEqxb |
| 5 Oct 12 | … #kingofthemountain. http://t.co/4753ezjX |
| 5 Oct 12 | … first hike. http://t.co/o9SBiEQI |
| 4 Oct 12 | … my wife just mistook Yoda for an Ewok. divorce proceedings begin on Tuesday. #seewhatihavetoputupwith #starwars |
| 4 Oct 12 | … hiding from #Debate2012 tonight. someone let me know if Dewey defeats Truman. |
| 4 Oct 12 | … watching the last 90 minutes of #Olympics coverage, the “London Gold” clipshow. warning: NBC’s coverage does NOT get better with age. |
| 2 Oct 12 | … #nats win the division, #redsox are 24 games back in theirs. #upisdown #blackiswhite #dogsandcatslivingtogether #masshysteria |
| 1 Oct 12 | … Pocoyo might be the best show on tv right now, and it’s on NickJr. not sure what that says about the state of television. #fb |
| 29 Sep 12 | … manchester united, ftw! #coys |
| 28 Sep 12 | … nirvana is Friday night, wife, son, Mac and Cheese, and a daughter who loves the Muppet Movie. #fb |
| 26 Sep 12 | … I’ve been taxiing around Atlanta’s runways long enough that I’m pretty sure we’ve crossed into Alabama. #fb |
| 26 Sep 12 | … pretty sure I’m the only person who followed watching @BarackObama’s full speech to the UN with the latest episode of #AmericanChopper. |
| 24 Sep 12 | … are they really “friends” if they come to your house and teach your child the chicken dance? #fb |
| 23 Sep 12 | … so glad my wife is a tequila snob. #fb |