theparkerfamily.org

Tag: Long Reads

  • nbc’s gymnastics commentators: a disaster of epic proportions

    just finished up the olympic women’s gymnastics team all-a-round competition … and we are *done* with the manic-depressive rantings that spew from nbc’s gymnastics commentators.

    update: for 2012’s NBC gymnastics coverage — live commentary is here, or follow on twitter.

    some snapshots:

    • when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine, it was a “a catastrophe of epic proportions.”
    • when an men’s gymnast fell off the apparatus: “High bar 101, grab the bar.”
    • apparently, japan and romania’s women “don’t show the proper respect for the olympics” by enjoying themselves on the gym floor, and they would be ultimately unsuccessful because they were “unfocused” (romania went on to medal).
    • they won’t shut up about the age of the chinese gymnasts, saying at least three times that “nothing more need be said” about the controversy (if they would only *heed* this themselves).
    • when the chinese started their final routine: “Pick your measure of pressure and multiply it by one point three billion.”

    really, people. they weren’t negotiating a peace treaty. they weren’t transporting nuclear waste. this is a sport. frankly, Sacramone going to have all sorts of undeserved shrink bills even without your drama queen commentary. (we still love you, alicia…)

    turns out that we aren’t the only haters. their are tons of nasty commentary about NBC’s lousy commentary.

    anyway, we’re using the mute button from here on out.

  • We Love D.C.

    Well, it’s been exactly one year since we moved to D.C. proper, after a combined 20 years of living around the periphery (well, I did 2 years in Glover Park, but that hardly counts). so, in the spirit of the new(ish) local blog We Love DC, the lady sparkler and I spent a walk through the neighborhood recounting why we love this place.

    National Zoo
    Denizens of Mount Pleasant refer to the Zoo as their “backyard” and in a lot of ways it is. I know more about the Prairie Dogs than I do some of my friends. Free summer concerts on lion hill, winter solace because the tourists stay away, spring babies, and the best fall foliage in the city.

    Free Stuff
    It’s easy to take this for granted, but we are reminded everytime we leave the city … everything in D.C. is free. From concerts, to movies on the mall, to museums, to monuments. The first time the lady sparkler and I went to NYC together, we just couldn’t shut up about the $18, $25, $30 tickets to see anything of culture. No wonder they are so grumpy up there.

    Kennedy Center
    Truely the greatest “monument” in D.C., the Kennedy Center presents an amazing array of theatre, music and culture to the city. Sure, we should give a shout out to the Woolly Mammoth, Arena, Signature and Shakespeare Theatres too, but the top class productions in D.C. are good enough to rival those of other major cities around the world.

    Food
    A decade ago, “food” would certainly not make an area top list, but D.C. is now home to quite a few decent restaurants. Maybe they aren’t the most daring menus on the planet, but the food is top-shelf and the service is legitimately okay. Going out, we have had as many great meals as we do mediocre, and that’s a step in the right direction.

    Urban Parks
    It’s hard to believe in a city, but we really have trees and parks all over the place. Rock Creek is enormous, and just about every intersection of the big avenues has a park of some kind. Large and small, these parks are one of the reasons DC-ites are out and about so much.

    RFK Stadium
    While a source of scorn for a lot of people who just don’t get it (D.C. United’s owners to name a few), RFK Stadium is the last great municipal stadium in use in the country, and one of the truest places to watch a ballgame in the country. No doubt: we will cry if it ever gets torn down.

    Meridian Hill / Malcolm X Park
    Parisian fountains in the middle of the District … who can argue with that? Almost by definition, spring starts in the city when the park’s fountains are turned on, and it plays host to everything from picnics to drum circles. The best news, is that ten years ago it wasn’t save to think about entering the park. Now? Oasis in the city.

    Mount Pleasant
    I loved Mount Pleasant before I even knew what it was. I got lost here in the late 90s and again in 2005, both times thinking it was the most beautiful neighborhood in the world. I’m here for the amazing. She is here for the farmer’s market. It’s a win, win.

    Now, the one reason we hate this place: no one stays here … in the last 4 months, we’ve lost a handful of our closest friends to Seattle, Boston and now Mississippi. Mississippi?!? When you start losing people to the deep south, you have to wonder how great your city actually is … but why we hate D.C. (politics, interns) is a posting for another day.

  • david, i love you!

    [Photo]
    ECPA20080629_1532, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    oh, my … where to begin.

    you’d think in washington, d.c. the hotest ticket in town would be some kind of political event, or maybe that tiger woods golf tourney happening out in bethesda next weekend.

    but with approval ratings in the toilet (congress is at 19%, the president at 29%) and tiger on his back with a bum knee … the hottest ticket in the district this summer (hands down) is the visit of super-fantastic-megariffic-star david “bend it like” beckham to our small corner of the footballing world.

    his trip to d.c. last year was a circus … and one which the lady sparkler and i opted to watch on the telly instead of braving the soccer-mom driven mania. this year was sure to be no different and — through a couple of tickets t.l.s. scored from work — we got to see it up close and personal.

    i’m not exactly a stranger to the beguiling charm of the english flavour of football (or “footy” as the lady sparkler has taken to calling it…) but the national obsession with the chiseled greatness that is mr. beckham has me more than a little puzzled.

    sure, i can understand 12 year-old girls screaming … and MAYBE we can extend that to their 40 year-old moms. but, the place was packed with 25-35 year old men with mint-edition beckham branded l.a. galaxy unis … shouting out adulation, and snapping pics. and remember, this is d.c. — it’s not exactly a home game for a team from los angeles.

    i’m a 25-35 year old male and, while i am not so ego-tastic to speak for a whole decade of humans, i must say that i remember far more lows in “the david’s” career (thrown out of 1998 World Cup, lackluster showing in 2002 and 2006 Cups, flipping off fans at Euro 2000, benchings by two of the greatest coaches of this age) than i remember his highs.

    so while i respect david for his 100+ appearances for the national team, and for his collection of early club championships — that’s enough for me to hope he does well in the States, but not enough to drop $70 on an spanking new beckham jersey and scream at him like a little girl.

    speaking of which, the funniest moment of the day was shortly after we arrived with some of the lady sparkler’s co-workers … we were poking fun of the whole scene, when someone from two rows back, right behind out heads, shouted “DAVID, I LOVE YOU!”

    unfortunately, we just *lost* it.

    oh, right. the game. d.c. crushed them. beckham looked miserable (as a proper brit should, playing footy .. during the summer .. in 98-degree weather .. in an american swamp).

  • homeless world cup

    [Photo]
    0628081034c.jpg, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    lately, i’ve been looking for something (really, pretty much *anything*) to redeem my faith in the larger human race. but, this morning, i’m glad i got out of bed …

    now, the great thing about sports is the (near) universal appreciation of the stories behind the competition … so long as you know where to look.

    for every $15-million slugger that dopes his way to the home run record, there is a $600,000 baller for the Celtics who overcomes homelessness on the way to win a NBA championship. for every perfectly-formed sprinter turned out by the u.s. track and field machine, there is a 41 year-old South African dissident who overcomes two shattered knees to break a world record at the World Pacific Games.

    never has this been more apparent, that this morning when we went to the u.s.a. trials for the homeless world cup (which is exactly what it sounds like: a (soccer) world cup where all the competitors are homeless).

    the tournament was started in 2001 by some activists for the homeless as a way to inspire the homeless to make positive life changes, and some 70% of past participants have gotten off the streets for good.

    the u.s. team is being selected this weekend, with a tournament down by the old convention center. city teams from across the u.s. are participating (atlanta, charlotte, minneapolis, new york, the district, austin, etc) with the the best players from each squad being selected for the trip to Melbourne.

    there weren’t many people in the crowd for the games we watched, but it was still an incredible experience. the talent and skill were way beyond what we were expecting, and it was pretty easy to see that the competitors were having the time of their life.

    if any of this is sounding interesting, the story of 6 participants in the 2006 Homeless World Cup has been turned into a documentary called kicking it (in theatres now). we’ll be there later this week …

  • the apocalypse

    [Photo]
    IMG_3515.CR2, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    i’ve been ruminating about this blog post for about two weeks now, which accounts for my recent lull in blog activity. and while it seems rude to start a global panic, i think we need to come to terms with the fact that the world is ending. like, tomorrow.

    just listening to npr this morning — my adoring wife’s daily ritual — makes a case for the pending apocalypse that’s at least as good as the case for increasing domestic oil production.

    let’s run through the major topics addressed as i refused to get out of bed this morning, hoping the world wouldn’t notice my absence … we’ve got:

    • flooding in the midwest
    • drought in the south, panhandle (drier than the Dust Bowl of 1930s)
    • fires engulfing california (two months earlier than usual)
    • earthquakes in china (69,000 dead)
    • cyclones in myanmar (138,000 dead or missing)
    • plants on European mountain ranges are moving up the mountain, searching for “higher ground”

    … and, lest we forget, people are killing each other in iraq, afghanistan, israel/palestine, and (it seems) most of sub-saharan africa and south asia — not to mention drug wars in central and south america.

    add this to what you and i already know:

    • gas prices are through the roof
    • home values are in the toilet
    • food staple costs are up 30% in the last year
    • the stock market has slid back to where it was in July of 1999
    • consumer confidence index is the third lowest since it began in 1952
    • presidential approval rating is at 28% (worst sans truman and nixon)
    • a whopping 14% believe our country is moving in the right direction (lowest ever)

    …and what al gore (the guy who invented the interweb) has told us:

    • the 11 warmest years on record have all been in the last 13 years
    • the number of Category 4 and 5 hurricanes has almost doubled in the last 30 years
    • the flow of ice from glaciers in Greenland has more than doubled over the past decade

    … and we’ve pretty well slept with the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and possibly tried to steal their girlfriends. we’ve got conquest, war and famine all sorts of angry. turns out there is even a good, old fashioned plague (locusts in massachusetts) which, in other news, can’t be a good omen for the democratic party.

    i was talking to a friend of mine about this “crazy like a fox” idea at lunch today, and it turns out that i am not the only one stockpiling water, duck tape and plastic sheeting. both abcnews and the associated press have come to similar conclusions … and both in the last month.

    now, looking at my own reaction — and running through what i remember of the five stages of grief — i have either skipped three stages (straight to depression) or am still in denial. actually, considering i have blacklisted all sources of news from my daily existence (npr, bbc, washington post, even those metro tabloids) i think i’m clearly in “kathleen harris running for public office”-level denial.

    that leaves anger (which’ll be easy!), bargaining, depression (that’s easy too!) and then acceptance. of course, all four together might be hard to get through by the time we turn into nothingness, like, tomorrow.

    p.s. if you are planning on being raptured, now would be a good time.

  • banner no. 17

    [Photo]
    Wow, it’s been 22 years since the last Championship, originally uploaded by Pink Knitter.
    well, it’s a good time to be a sports fan in boston.

    the red sox have won twice in four years. the patriots blew their chance to be a perfect 19-0. (oh, btw, i like all teams in new england *except* for the patriots.) the revolution lost their fourth major league soccer title game in six years. (oh, the revs … *hate* the revs, too.) and, the boston celtics just won their first championship in 22 years.

    now, i don’t want to say that the culture of new england has changed … but it has, so i guess that phrase was an empty blogging device.

    my father and i talked after the celtics won game four, in los angeles, to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the best of 7 series.

    if this was 2001 — with the red sox in an 80+ year drought and the celtics in a 15 year skid — new englanders would be talking in hushed tones about how the lakers were a great team who were the odds on favorites to come back and win, especially knowing *our* (ie. new england’s) luck.

    but, you throw three super bowl rings and two world series trophies into the mix, and these crazy yanks get down right cocky.

    talking to my father that night, he guaranteed — OUTLOUD! — that the celtics were going to win the championship, and odds-on it was going to happen in five games. needless to say, given my comparative old age and experience, i was looking for any piece of wood available to knock on.

    sure enough … my boy was right. he wiffed on the number of games — it was six not five — but a championship none-the-less.

    and all was well in beantown. again.

  • our long national nightmare is over

    [Photo]
    Day 55 – Barack Obama Mural in Houston Texas (Houston Graffiti Art), originally uploaded by Marco From Houston.
    well, i don’t even know where to begin on this one…

    now, we weren’t exacty backing hillary in this horse race (tho admittedly we’d have voted for her as the nominee) but, as late april turned to mid may turned to early june, our patience with hillary’s mathematical chances to secure the nomination started to wear a bit thin.

    once it became clear that the her only chance for nomination rested on convincing superdelagates to vote against their constituencies, i (for one) started to flip out … ’cause overruling the populace isn’t something *we* do, that’s something the opposition does.

    now, i’ll give hillary mad props for toning down her rhetoric as this dragged on … but the notion that her supporters would threaten to boycott the general election (bad form) or vote for McCain (worse) because of how “poorly” they/hillary were treated?!?

    ick.

    the view from here was that hillary was giving just as much as she was getting … and not necessarily in that order. actually, our “insider” circles were *rife* with tales of hillary supporters linguistically kneecapping fellow party members with threats of reprisals if they took the “wrong” side and she pulled off the win in extr innings.

    it is the very peak of sad that, at the time we should all be celebrating *whichever* pioneering nominee came out on top, we are instead debating recriminations and writing bitter blog posts.

    sigh.

  • too much free time. more playoffs, please.

    [Photo]
    Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics, originally uploaded by Paul Keleher.
    so, my father is a lockdown celtics fan.

    now, i often say that i don’t remember anything before 7th grade (which is sad, yet still true) but, due to my father’s Boston brand of religion, some of my best childhood memories involve the celtics, including:

    1. my father sneaking us into the old Garden, and then sweet-talking the staff after we got caught. the parquet playing floor wasn’t down because of a Boston Bruins game, but those Championship banners were sure up in those rafters.
    2. watching the Celtics win Game 7 of the ’84 finals against Los Angeles, giving them Championship #15. To this day, I still hate that whole squad of Lakers, especially Kurt Rambis. (sorry, Nadav…)
    3. “havlicek stole the ball!” actually, that wasn’t a childhoold memory (because I was born almost 20 years, to the day, later) but CBS used to play it over and over anytime the Celtics made the playoffs … to the theme from “Terms of Endearment,” no less.

    of course, with said favorite memories, came some of my least-favorite childhood memories, too:

    1. waking up after the ’88 division series loss to the Pistons, realizing that the Celtics just weren’t the “Celtics” anymore. (which would have been revealed a year earlier if not for a last second gaff by the Pistons.)
    2. len bias.

    i was seventeen when Larry Bird retired, and the Celtics launched a 15-year “forgettable” streak. over that span, they had only three winning seasons, three playoff series, and just two players named to an All-Star team. last year, they lost 58 games and won just 24.

    but, everything change this summer, when Celtic GM danny ainge — who was in contention for “worst GM ever” until that point, which is saying something considering recent Celtic history — pulled of the steal of a lifetime by snagging Kevin Garnett from Minnesota.

    now, i watched the Celtic’s new “big three” during the regular season, but i knew they were going to choke … so didn’t get too attached. in fact, i was more optimistic about the Red Sox’ chances in 2004 … and they were facing down 86 years of history, not a pedestrian 20.

    however, once the Celtics made the playoffs, we started watching. and watching. and watching.

    and yes, that was “we” — as in the lady sparkler’s been watching, too. and she’s been screaming at the television when Ray Allen bricks another three. and she’s been twitching non-stop during every road game waiting for the choke to come. and she’s been wondering how Paul Pierce became the team hero when Kevin Garnett has him beat in every major stat category except assists.

    at this point, the lady sparkler and I are guessing that we have seen 15 of the 20 playoff games so far, for 50+ hours of basketball. there has been a game just about every other day since the end of April. which brings us to why I am blogging about this today … there hasn’t been a game for four days. and won’t be one until the finals start this Thursday.

    basically, we are in withdrawal.

    All day Sunday, i felt like i was missing something … and it didn’t go away until I realized that I would have been watching Game 7 had they not clinched two days earlier. today, i felt like i needed to do something when i got home. but no. it was just an even number of days since the last game.

    and so we wait.

    and it sucks. and i can’t imagine what it’s like for someone (like my father) who’s been around for all the rest of the 16 championships, 20 conference titles and 26 divisional titles, and has had to wait 20 years for the next glimmer of hope … because the anticipation is just *killing* me.

  • Sports Night at the “Juice Box”

    [Photo]
    ECPA20080524_1332, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    We’re in Houston for Memorial Day/the lady sparkler’s Birthday, and spent last night with Nadine and Nadav at Minute Maid Park. (the lady sparkler’s parents had a prior engagement to see Pink Martini.) Great park, great game … which Houston won 4-3 by gunning down the tying run at home plate, with the bases loaded, for the final out.

    Speaking of sports, i just read a story out of Washington State where a senior softball player in her final game blew her ACL after hitting a home run, and was carried around the bases by the opposing team. Incredible. I cried like a baby.

    Speaking of crying like a baby, the only other time i’ve gotten misty during SportsCenter was a segment about an autistic teen who scored 20 points off the bench in the first and only basketball game of his high school career. (turns out that segment was nominated for an Emmy, so i wasn’t the only one bawling, fwiw.)

    (p.s. insert your “evan/girl” or “the lady sparkler/pants” jokes in the comments.)

    Explore the Photo Set:
    Astros v Phillies, Minute Maid Park, Houston, Texas

  • i seem to have misplaced the hot water heater

    [Photo]
    ECPA20080522_1319, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    your not going to believe this, but we can’t find our hot water heater. you would think this would be something that would be hard to miss, especially in a 700 sq. ft. apartment, but it appears that we are “special” people.

    last summer when we moved in, our building inspector came in and showed us around the place. he talked us through the a/c, the furnace, the annoying glass-top stove, etc. about half way through, he said “oh, it looks like you guys have communal hot water, so there must be a building-wide water heater down in the basement.”

    we didn’t think anything else about it.

    … until yesterday. for reason’s too boring to explain, I was emailing with some people from the condo board (more on that later) and asked how the communal hot water worked.

    they said there was no communal hot water.

    so, i just came home and started looking around for where a hot water heater might be stashed. looked in the closets. looked in the laundry. looked through a this weird, tiny little 9″ x 9″ access hatch located behind our refrigerator (actually, it was too small to look, so i stuck a camera through and took the picture above.)

    nothing. not just that, but i honestly don’t know what to do next.

    in other news, the reason i was emailing with the condo board members was because they saw fit to elected / appoint me to the board three days ago. a board member was itching to get off — he had moved out of the building and is now renting his place out — and i was a warm body who didn’t know better to say no.

    the funny punchline to this is that they asked me to be the treasurer. now, for those of you who don’t know a thing about me … i’ve never been paid to manage a budget, haven’t taken a math class since 1991, and had a legitimate shot of being a triple Theater / Russian / Geology major. (notice the one thing in common? no math.)

    anyway, i agreed to serve on the board, but politely turned down the treasurer position, saying that we would be open to a “gross negligence” lawsuit if i said yes. volunteered to be secretary, or internal communications specialist, or streak through the hallways naked … basically anything that didn’t involve math.

    *sigh*