Tag: Activities | Gymnastics

live: olympics, week two

August 5, 2012
i always start falling behind in the second week. intentions to watch 21+ hours of coverage a day, however good, start to wear thin in the face of other priorities — like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom.

thank god i have two years until the winter games in Sochi to catch up.
evancparker … um, you realize ur saying this on twitter, right? MT @MoElleithee: DAMN YOU INTERNET! Is there no place safe from Olympic spoilers?

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evancparker … could we stop referring to all female winners as “golden girls”? was anyone else watching tv in the 80s? #NotACompliment #Olympics

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evancparker … um, BMX at the #Olympics? duuuude, tooootally didn’t see that coming.

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evancparker … I’d be less irked by Usain Bolt beating his chest (over and over) if he was winning the decathlon instead of just the 100m. #Olympics

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evancparker … seriously, more horse jumping? is this an event, or a pain tolerance experiment for NBC’s three remaining viewers? #Olympics

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evancparker … had no idea Lolo Jones has “haters.” fwiw, it’s cozy here under this rock. #TeamUSA #Olympics

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evancparker … girls done good. #Gymnastics #Olympics

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evancparker RT @kbrick: Aly Raisman’s parents are as entertaining to watch as she is. #Olympics #London2012

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evancparker … gymnast kissing the vault? #Awesome. high jumpers taunting the crossbar? #Awesomer. #Olympics

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evancparker … I’m 80 mins behind but will be there soon if I skip all the parts where the commentators are being #Harpies. #Olympics

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evancparker … #TeamGB‘s Tweddle was stunning on the uneven bars. I literally gasped. #Amazing #Olympics

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evancparker … can we talk about Grenada without mentioning the 1983 invasion? does a country exist if we haven’t invaded them? don’t answer that.

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evancparker … “interesting that Gabby Douglas choose to wear silver.” #FireAlTrautwig #Olympics

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evancparker … just found out my youngest was the same exact weight as a regulation shotput when he was born. #BestWifeEver #Olympics

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evancparker … are there quality badminton racquets, or do the national teams just pick up some from Kmart like the rest of us? #Olympics

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evancparker … hammer throw is a real sport?!? I totally thought it was a Scottish drinking game. #Olympics

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evancparker … I secretly love the steeplechase, and i’m pretty sure it’s because of Robbie the Reindeer. #TeamGB #BBC #Olympics

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evancparker … i’ve officially OD’ed on beach volleyball. need to watch monk tipping, burka racing or anything on the Hallmark channel. #Olympics

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evancparker … top medal sport for #Mexico in the history of the #Olympics? Diving. #HadNoClue #BoyTheyreGood

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evancparker … just took meds with #beer because no water was within reach. bad sign? yeah, bad sign.

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evancparker … now, more than ever, the answer is clear: #FireTimDaggett // #NBCFAIL #Olympics

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evancparker … tired of these :30 cliffnote versions of track/field events. if that’s what I wanted I’d follow the #Olympics on Twitter. Oh, wait.

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evancparker … #TeamGB winning cycling medals is becoming about as exciting as watching China win diving medals. #Srsly #Again #Olympics

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evancparker … if #TeamUSA men’s BB keeps surging in the 2nd half to win, think they could just do it in the 1st half and save us the drama? #Olympics

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evancparker … un-#$%&@#-believable #NeverGiveUp #USAvCAN #Olympics

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evancparker … rolling heart-attack #DrinkingHeavily #TeamUSA #USAvCAN #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … so, is Hope Solo going to blame Brandi Chastain if #TeamUSA loses? #Likely #USAvCAN #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … is it possible for BOTH France and S Korea to lose and be knocked out? #RootingForTheRefs #FRAvKOR #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … “the more you tweet, the worse you run.” definately true in my case. #Olympics

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evancparker … how stoked would my 2 y.o. be if given a stick and told it’s okay to thwack the bejezzus out of a ball. #FieldHockey #Olympics

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evancparker … thank god the Magna Carta wasn’t decided on penalty kicks. #GBRvKOR #TeamGB #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … i always freak when i see #TeamGB/#England tied in a knockout tourney match #BadJuju http://t.co/W5IIwR61 #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … not sure I’m following this #100m as rockstar meme. don’t see that bravado from the #10000m medalists. #Olympics

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evancparker … judges should have to land the vault themselves before giving out a zero. watching them face-plant would be okay too. #Olympics

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evancparker … in 2016, I think i’ll pass on NBC’s coverage of the #Olympics, and just follow @SamuelLJackson instead.

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evancparker … NBC is so #%£?! short of events they lead off with 30 min Phelps flufferview re: his golf game? anything else happen today? #NBCFAIL

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live: olympics, week one

July 31, 2012
going back to work is, well, awkward.

the first day back during the olympics is always the worst, facing a tivo still full from the weekend and another 16 hours that taped while you were away. the “good” news is that NBC’s coverage is just as hyperbolic and manic-depressive as ever.

time to catch up.
evancparker … yesterday, #TeamUSA women win rowing and cycling medals, but get shafted to the post-midnight coverage? #Uncool #NBCFAIL #Olympics

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evancparker … really, Tim. nothing that happens on the pommel horse tonight can be referred to as “catastrophic.” #Perspective #Olympics

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evancparker … you’re never too young to get indoctrinated into the #Olympics http://t.co/uWiYpxH2

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evancparker … if NBC’s gymnastics commentators did beach volleyball too we’d be at Cuban missile crisis levels of histrionics right now. #Olympics

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evancparker … dude, those speedos are creepy. don’t male divers need some sort of full body speed suit like the swimmers? #Olympics #TivoDelay

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evancparker … after 3rd night, sync diving is wearing thin. #BringBackCurling #Olympics

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evancparker … root, root, root for the home team. #TeamGB #Olympics

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evancparker … come on Bradley Wiggins #TeamGB! er, I meant, um, Tyler Phinney #TeamUSA obviously // #ImATraitor #TivoDelay #Olympics

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evancparker … Kessy/Ross looked great last night, tho need a Ph D in “hand jive” to keep up with their post-point celebrations. #Olympics

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evancparker RT @nicolevins: The true star of the #olympics: @SamuelLJackson http://t.co/M49XpjyZ

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evancparker … how bad was the other team that you needed to be this obvious to throw a badminton match? http://t.co/PqjGbKvu #FacePalm #Olympics

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evancparker … happy for Phelps, even if i’m exhausted by the thought of the next round of Subway commercials. #Olympics

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evancparker … I fell asleep during the women’s floor exercise. did I miss anything? #WieberKilledIt #Olympics (ht @kbrick!)

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evancparker … note to American viewers: #tequila makes Al Trautwig almost bearable. still researching an antedote for Tim Daggett. #Olympics

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evancparker … i love that 24 is considered “old” in gymnastics at the #Olympics. pretty sure that means I’m technically #dead.

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evancparker … did I just hear Al, Tim and Elfi actually defend a USA gymnast? #Harpies no more? #Olympics #FireAlTrautwig

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evancparker … here we go. try not to ruin this for me, Al. #FireAlTrautwig #Olympics

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evancparker … breaking out the good tequila in honor of the Mexican #Olympics diving teams. #OlympicDrinkingTeam #DoingOurPart

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evancparker … nice to see #TeamUSA Men’s BB enjoy glad handing other team after the game. Kobe even signed some dude’s shoe. #Awesome

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evancparker … pretty sure I just watched #TeamUSA Men’s BB go on a 23-3 run with just our backups on the floor. #DoesntSeemFair #Olympics

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evancparker … my 2 y.o. wants to go paddling at the #Olympics, but only when she’s “really big” because it “looks reeaaaally harrd.” #Yuppers

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evancparker … i love you Hope Solo, but get your head out of Brandi Chastain’s bottom and focus on the match at hand. #TheTruth #Olympics

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evancparker … judo, then bed. that’s 20 #Olympics disciplines in 3 days. #SaveMeFromMyself

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evancparker … wow. if #spain‘s U23s had 1/10th the class of their senior team, it would have been a very different soccer match. #ESPvHON #Olympics

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evancparker … can’t deal with men’s #Olympics gymnastics drama, so watching #ESPvHON tape. 10+ bookings not quite the calm i had in mind. #GradeSchool

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evancparker … am I horrible if I refuse to watch #Olympics men’s gymnastics team finals because I can’t deal with NBC’s commentators? #harpies

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evancparker … or, next to Al Trautwig MT @RobynOkrant: free Xanax for any spectator sitting next to the gymnasts’ parents. #OlympicImprovements

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evancparker … my wife (a swimmer) is irritated that a women’s water polo match lasts longer than 56 seconds. #Sigh. #Olympics

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evancparker … the 1900 #Olympics featured a 200 m. “Obstacle” swim where you climbed over bars, swam under boats #BRINGITBACK http://t.co/bftQzgSz

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live: the first weekend

July 28, 2012
i’ve cleared my weekend.

well, other than you know having a toddler, having a new born, having a wife, probably having to work a little, but other than that i’m glued to the tube. and the computer. and the ipad. and the iphone.
evancparker … heartbroken watching Shin fence after being denied spot in final. 2nd straight night that an athlete is bigger than the #Olympics.

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evancparker @annettetorr … I do love @texasinafrica, but may question her taste in people to follow 😉

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evancparker … my wife is singing along to a @taylorswift13 album. taking it as a sign she won’t last two more weeks of me watching the #Olympics.

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evancparker … do you think they’d let me go down the canoe/kayak course in an innertube? #WithMyBeerCooler #OlympicLegacy #Olympics

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evancparker … my 2 year old is super excited about the Romanian women’s gymnastics team, jumping/flipping off the ottoman. #StartThemYoung #Olympics

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evancparker … just saw Today Show team race walking. considering a lawsuit to get those three minutes of my life back. #Olympics

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evancparker … trying to cram in some field hockey love (#TeamGB) but my 16 week old is finally falling asleep. #thankgod #savemefrommyself #olympics

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evancparker … @jordyn_wieber? awesome. NBC shoving mics in her face and looping thru “mistakes” tape? notsomuch. #Olympics #NBCFAIL #firealtrautwig

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evancparker … Al, it’s a bad sign when Tim Daggett tells you that you’re being overly dramatic. #FireAlTrautwig #Olympics

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evancparker … I’m trying to go easy on the #NBCFAIL meme, but if you’re going to delay on TV, keep it #%€?!? off http://t.co/2laXfLzq too. #Olympics

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evancparker … I’ve decided my #FireAlTrautwig campaign is too narrow and shortsighted. #FireTimDaggett #FireElfiSchlegel #Olympics

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evancparker RT @texasinafrica: Y’all my friend @evancparker is the only person I know who watches the Olympics in its entirety. He’ll be live tweeting it for a month.

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evancparker … why can’t all of @nbcolympics commentators be as good as the two covering swimming? #firealtrautwig #Olympics

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evancparker … amazing, I’ve never seen Americans synchronize anything well, much less diving. #greatstuff #olympics

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evancparker … Natalia Partyka is the best story from the #Olympics opening weekend (http://t.co/fyilWhie). Incredible event to watch.

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evancparker … watching women’s weightlifting is threatening my womanhood. #Olympics

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evancparker … if “regular” polo was as dirty as water polo, there would be a lot of dead horses. #Olympics

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evancparker … rowing at the #Olympics, the poster child of #firstworldproblems

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evancparker … looks like it was a lovely morning for a bike ride in London today. #Olympics #catsndogs

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evancparker … insert angst here about USA men’s basketball team in the 2nd quarter and not leading by 40+ yet. #Olympics

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evancparker … 15 #Olympics sports in 16 hours, and I’m #done. #firealtrautwig

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evancparker … watched #Olympics Sarajevo ’84 on 3 inch b&w tv, no cable, no Web, so (two decades ago) didn’t matter it wasn’t live. #NBCFAIL

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evancparker … day one, and I already want to throttle the #Olympics gymnastics commentators. #NBCFAIL

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evancparker … pretty sure ryan seacrest’s hair has its own personal laws of physics. #Olympics

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evancparker … wondering why the Aussie #Olympics beach volleyball team wears a shirt *under* their swimsuits. #doesntlookcomfortable

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evancparker … there seemed to be a lot of Angolan Handball Team fans in London today, or everybody just hates Russia. #Olympics

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evancparker … watching (and disturbingly enjoying) women’s handball, thereby proving I’m officially an #Olympics slut.

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evancparker … Sparklet just announced she wants to go to London and see the #Olympics. Me too, sweetie.

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evancparker … u.s. #olympics women’s volleyball lost a close third set, and listening to @NBCOlympics commentary you’d think they got sent home. #FAIL

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evancparker … Ooo, #Olympics women’s volleyball. #kidincandystore #neglectingmychildren

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evancparker … watching dressage, and if this really is a hobby for the Romneys then they’re more out of touch than I thought. #Olympics

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evancparker … try explaining archery to a two year-old sometime. #Olympics

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evancparker … feel horrible for Team #GBR. Worst. Uniforms. Ever. #Olympics

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evancparker … and, I had no idea that archery was, well, interesting. oh, and fencing. ping-pong notsomuch. #olympics

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evancparker … shooting, cycling, swimming, fencing, table tennis, basketball, soccer. #olympicjunkie

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evancparker … we’re live blogging the openning ceremonies @ http://t.co/gmK025vQ

8 days ago Reply
“daddy!”

March 4, 2012

i was running late to gymnastics class.

dropped off mommy and sparklet in front of the building, and then went to look for parking. about 15 minutes later, i found parking about 10 blocks away. needless to say, i arrived well after the class had begun.

i snuck in, turned around to put my stuff down, and by the time i turned around i had a baby girl’s face planted into my stomach. she had run the length of the room (with 10 kids and 20 parents watching) to say hello.

life is pretty good.

See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
“daddy!”
out: final gymnastics class

March 4, 2012

it was a great course, and sparklet had a lot of fun, but I’m glad it’s over — the instructor had a vocal tenor that could shatter bulletproof glass, which was made 1.2 million times worse because the classroom was actually a raquetball court. I may need therapy. the things we do for our daughter’s love…

See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
out: final gymnastics class
out: gymnastics with the talimos

January 29, 2012

See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
out: gymnastics
out: gymnastics

January 22, 2012

See Slideshow of the Photos on Flickr:
out: gymnastics
fire al trautwig

February 18, 2010

it’s winter olympics season at the sparkler household, and that means it’s time to get angry and the god-aweful commentary for olympic sports. here are some of my favorites:

for some, this morning started with agony and shock.

someone had fallen off the cross-country track.

these are biathlon fans. they know when to cheer … when the target is hit!

piercing insight there, friend.

spillane looks solid for the gold if he can stand up right here. spillane’s got it … america breaks through!

actually, spillane did *not* get it. in all the jingo-istic excitement, the commentator seems to have missed that a frenchman came in first.

in the previous three olympics, this man has left with nothing but the memories.

… nothing besides a gold medal.

we have a deep russian team. then, the americans. then, the russians … that’s your trilogy.

russians, americans, russians. yup, that’s three.

he’s a bit the germaphobe … always taking purell around with him. he doesn’t drink except for the occasional swig of cognac to cleanse his mouth of germs.

tmi. not quite to the clintonian/jacksonian/woodsian level, but seriously … he can sleep upside down in a hyperbolic chamber, and it’s none of my/our/your business.

i wish i could just blame NBC as a whole (and i may later) but each one of these linguistic “gems” was said by the same man … NBC olympic commentator al trautwig.

if the name sounds familiar, it should.

he is the same #*&%$ who brought you grotesquely over-wrought commentary for NBC’s gymnastics coverage in Beijing (including his 2008 pièce-de-résistance, lamenting “a catastrophe of epic proportions” when Alicia Sacramone fell on a floor routine).

seriously, NBC … you’ve paid $3.5 billion for the rights to cover the Olympics since 1999, so maybe it’s about time you read the founding principles of the Games:

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

i don’t think it’s much of an exaggeration to say that mr. trautwig’s over-wrought hyperboles are undermining the very games he’s covering.

exiling trautwig from gymnastics to cross-country/biathalon coverage (while quite the statement about his perceived worth) isn’t enough. the problem is, he doesn’t have the commentary skills to cover little league matches in the Parkersburg, West Virginia.

if he’s under a contract you can’t get out of, let me suggest you transfer him to KXGN in Glendive, Montana. as a parking attendant.
a surprise of epic proportions

August 29, 2008

i have to share… right now, if you google “nbc gymnastic commentators,” the search results feature my rant about the Olympic coverage from earlier this month as result #7. if you google “a disaster of epic proportions,” i’m result #5.

i don’t think i have ever been this cool in my life.
wait, the olympics aren’t over yet …

August 21, 2008

unlike the rest of the world, the Olympics aren’t wrapping up this weekend for the lady sparkler and I.

we’re only 200+ hours into the coverage, and have a solid 80 hours still to be watched on our tivo. (i know 200 hours sounds like a lot, but remember that one third of the coverage was commercials, and i swear another 20% was rowing or handball.)

from what i have heard, every one seems to think that the games were a solid “A+” for China, and so far I absolutely to agree.

unfortunately, i have started to hear some rumblings that the Olympics are starting to lose meaning. common talking points include:

the Olympics are from a more simplistic time — Since the 1972 Madrid crisis, national politics have mattered nearly as much as the sporting events themselves, and this year the games were held in China despite their miserable human rights record.

the Olympics promote rampant nationalism — there was an obsession about the total medal count (USA vs. China), an “our country is better than your country” measure if there ever was one. NBC’s coverage was pro-American to the point of being jingoistic (except for gymnastics, which was pro-Chinese once Al Trautwig finally shut up about the age of their women).

maybe there is some truth to this, but it seems to me that this is a bit simplistic. each of us watch the Olympics and take away exactly what we want to:

the internationalists see a great coming together of cultures to promote cooperation and understanding. the nationalists see a chance for us to prove our dominance in yet another arena. mommy-figure liberals see a reason to break out the kleenex box. daddy-figure conservatives see a reason to spend 2 weeks exploring the other 236 channels on their television.

george w. bush sees a chance to be relevant (and human) again.

sure, the coverage could be better. sure, the little sports (high jump, javelin, shooting) should get their due compared to the big sports (diving, beach volleyball, track). sure, tivo should be able to record all seven olympic channels at once and should be able to record more than 86 hours of coverage at once.

but, in the end, it’s been a kick-butt two weeks … even ignoring Michael Phelps (which a dark, hidden side of me was trying to do after medal five or so). i discovered a version of the Star Spangle Banner doesn’t sound like the British drinking song that it is. i discovered that the Chinese know how to party, and are freaky good at coordinated dance moves.

but, most poignantly, i discovered (finally) why every field hockey player i ever knew could crush me with their pinkie.