theparkerfamily.org

  • valentine’s day @ ben’s chili bowl

    it’s valentines day, which means another celebration of our love by dining at … ben’s chili bowl.

    nothing sounds more romantic than chili, mustard and onions, but it turns out that the first thing the lady sparkler and i ever did together (outside of work) was go to ben’s for a half smoke.

    bridesmaid Mel was there too, and we went on (what we thought) was a random weekend back in February 2004. now, we actually weren’t dating them (that didn’t happen for another three months) and it was shear coincidence that we picked February 14th, but we’ve now it’s become a tradition …

    we’ve made it to ben’s four out of the last six Valentine’s Days. only missing 2005 because we didn’t realize the significance, and 2007 because the lady sparkler was stuck in Saudi Arabia.

    love blooms in the heart of D.C.

  • preview: scotland

    trip
    i don’t even know where to begin …

    ever since we got back from our honeymoon, the lady sparkler has been planning her next trip. then australia fell into our laps, and (once she got back) she began planning her next trip.

    to be fair, she was actually more monitoring the currency markets than planning, per say. screw civil liberties, what really got my beloved’s blood boiling was when bush pushed the dollar sink into the commode.

    so, when the bottom fell out of the european currencies last summer, the joy on her face was palpable. london. paris. wherever.

    now, conveniently, my parents have always wanted to go to scotland (my grandmother was a clan donald lass) and with their 45th anniversary coming up this year and the exchange rate going our way for once, it’s was looking like this could be the year.

    never one to pass up a chance to leverage synergies, the lady sparkler suggested that the two should become one. (never argue with a wife who *wants* to travel with her in-laws…)

    and so it will be, the last week of this coming April.

    we’ll start out with a couple days in Edinburgh (The Castle, Holyrood Park) before renting a car — more wrong side of the road driving! — and heading into the hills. we’ll do a driving tour of Glen Coe (where the noble Donalds were massacred by the dastardly Campbells while they slept).

    we’ll take a drive west passing by Loch Ness (Expedition Center, Urquhart Castle) which has fascinated my father and I ever since our first trip to Busch Gardens Europe. finally, we’ll swing through the Isle of Sky — including Armadale Castle, the ancestral home of Clan Donald — before heading back in London for the trip home.

    now, London is where things get interesting. we have just about 48 hours to do the whole city, including St Paul’s Cathedral, Tower of London, London Bridge, Kensington Palace, Hyde Park, Buckingham Gates, the Sherlock Holmes Museum and Parliment. and a partridge in a Pear tree.

    oh, and I want to see White Hart Lane (home of Tottenham Hotspur) before the 100+ year old stadium gets torn down next year, and replaced by a 60,000-seat monstrosity.

    so, my mother gets the isle of sky, my father gets loch ness, i get london, and my beloved gets … Paris?

    as if the british isles weren’t enough, my beloved and I “gave each other” two days in Paris for Christmas this past year (and then gave it to ourselves again for Valentine’s Day once we realized how much it cost).

    so, besides the *VERY* palpable guilt of traveling in such horrid economic climates, life is feeling pretty good.

  • dear mr. alex rodriguez, sir …

    arodpursei have to confess, that up until this moment, i’ve hated you. i’ve hated you as long as i can remember. heck, before i knew you … i hated the idea of you.

    a bloated contract from the yankees that signifies everything wrong with modern baseball. a personality uniquely unsuited to (and unappreciative of) the public spotlight. a track record of behavior on (and off) the feild that is awkward at best, or painfully embarrassing at worst.

    but, with this week’s revelations about your steroids use you have a chance to turn a new leaf, and the respect of an entire nation of baseball fans.

    in short, it’s up to you to save baseball.

    baseball needs *you* to come out of this latest round of steroid rumors better than you went in. the public can’t handle ten years of continual reminders of the steroids era as you bat your way towards the top of the home run list.

    we need you to hit this one out of the park for us. the key? a good, thoughtful, honest response from you.

    first off, let’s see what you don’t do … let’s look at how everyone else took their turn at the steroids plate. barry bonds lied (that didn’t work out so well). roger clemens denied (and is still digging his grave). mark mcgwire refused to talk (good luck with your next 10 years in new york if you choose that path). rafael palmeiro’s “i didn’t know what i was being injected with” defense has proven to be less then effective as well.

    so, let’s try something different … like, being honest.

    yes, you used steroids, but it was only one season (right?) way back in 2003. since then, you’ve been the most tested athlete on the planet, so people will be reasonably receptive to the notion that you aren’t still using.

    so, let’s get a head of this thing and say:

    • i did it. i was stupid. i used in 2003, but realized that using is a betrayal of the game and an offense to my fans. i saw all the big boys using around the league, and gave into the excuse that i needed to keep up … i have wanted to be the best for as long as i remember, but steroids just aren’t the way to do it.
    • with a steroid test on my record, i know that i have a lot to prove to get into the hall of fame, but i am committed to working everyday for the next ten years to earn my way back in.
    • i believe that my record can stand without the 2003 season, which is why i am voluntarily returning back to the league the (now tainted) awards i got that season, including the MVP trophy, and the award for being the best hitter in baseball. those awards are not a reflection on who i am, so i don’t want them a part of my resume, or sitting on my mantle.
    • yes, the tests that “outed” me were supposed to be confidential, and yes i am the only one out of the 104 who has been identified, but there is absolutely no reason to breach that confidentiality by releasing the rest of the names. two wrongs do not make a right, and i will take this round on my shoulders.

    • players and owners need to rededicate themselves to testing. our fans are rightly skeptical each time they hear another steroid denial, and we need to test early and often, to prove everyday that we deserve their respect.

    i know that’s a lot to say, but you have the chance to quite literally shift the landscape of baseball with just one press conference.

    please, mr. rodriguez … as the biggest figure in baseball, and the idol of everybody this side of boston, so you are uniquely positioned to save baseball from the steroids era.

    and, who knows, if you do this right … you may just earn your way back into the hall of fame at the same time.

    sincerely,
    baseball nation

  • photos: national arboretum, washington, dc

    [Photo]
    ECPA20090208_7740, originally uploaded by [ecpark].
    Explore the Photo Set:
    National Arboretum, Washington, DC

  • more signs my wife could well be a boy …

    i don’t know exactly what happened, but in the space of about 45 minutes, the lady sparkler became a guitar hero aficionado.

    and i’m pretty sure it’s fostermom adventure’s fault.

    our beloved M.O.H. (maid of honor) was in town this weekend, and apparently has a bit of a guitar hero addiction. (the last time she was here, she was reportedly up into the wee hours of the morning playing…)

    so we broke out the game for a fun, family activity … when all of a sudden, sparkler stopped sucking.

    literally, up until this very second, my beloved was content to play one song (hit me with your best shot) and do her little butt-waggle in front of the telly, ignoring her single digit scores, and then pronouncing she was “done” with our silly little game.

    now, she greats me in the morning with statement’s like “can we play guitar hero tonight?”

    what happened? seriously, no clue. one minute she sucked, the next she is breathing down my neck, looking for signs of weakness.

    damn, i’m a lucky man. i think.

  • dma 2009: revolution or evolution

    Presentation today with the fine people at Planit, an agency out of Baltimore. All my slides are mixed into the main presentation, but they are the case studies around registration form testing, landing page to donation form conversion, social media (flickr, facebook widgets) and lifecycle emails.

  • the darker side of the inauguration

    we had a lot of time to think about the inauguration on our way out of the mall … it took us over an hour to go two blocks, and then another couple to get back to civilization (or lunch, at least).

    ironically, the thing that stuck with me — more than the speech, the people, the hope — was the complete lack of respect the people on the mall had for the President until around 12:03 pm.

    living in my own little world, I’d never really thought it through … sure, he had bad approval numbers, sure my hippie-prog friends had little respect for his policies on, well, anything.

    but he was still President, right? i have always firmly believe that you have to respect the office, even if you believe the occupant doesn’t respect the office himself.

    there is a basic level of civility that is needed to maintain ourselves as a nation, and violating that civility doesn’t no good in our efforts to establish a new tone of mutual respect in the nation’s Capitol.

    now, don’t get me wrong … i didn’t hear anything that wasn’t shouted at Clinton eight years ago, but that’s not the point.

    it’s very difficult to take the high road on an inclusive society, when we are exclusive ourselves. in the same way, we can’t fight intolerance with intolerance, regardless of how intolerant we feel the last eight years have been.

    i already have conservative friends predicting assassinations, preaching the apocalypse, and plotting out their future lives in foreign countries — which is ironic because the best place for conservatives right now is probably France.

    by being intolerant ourselves, we not only excuse this type of behavior, we encourage it. now, i’m about as opposed to neo-cons as anyone, but even I was able to give Bush the benefit of the doubt for his first two years in office.

    if we really are going to bring change in Washington, it can’t just trickle down from the top. this started as a grassroots movement, and that’s the only way real change is going to succeed.

  • ben affleck likes having his picture taken, and other life lessons

    we scored some tickets to the “google ball” through the lady sparkler’s work — she actually asked *whether* i wanted to go (crazy lady!).

    it wasn’t a ball as such (no obamas, so no dead swan dress) but was instead billing itself as a sort of pre-/post-ball party for the other (more official) balls.

    the space was gorgeous. big enough to be spectacular, but small enough to be (surprisingly) intimate. and, to be fair, i didn’t even know the space existed (it’s in the old IRS building at the corner of 15th and Constitution).

    we heard rumors that fancy-pants people would be there, but assumed they would be all roped off in some back room. it was great enough to have an excuse to dress up, but … i mean, JOHN PODESTA was there. and *WOLF BLITZER*!!!

    anyway, the conversations were progressing along nicely, when the lady sparkler suggested our little group take a lap around the place. in a back room, the lady sparkler spotted ben affleck, and then it was all over …

    i felt safe in my relationship, because i knew that she was only talking to him to get matt damon’s phone number … but it turned out that she wanted a picture, too.

    she negotiated her way up to him, and tugged on his shoulder. i have no idea who he was talking to (someone later told me it was his brother Casey) but he barely broke (conversation) stride as he turned around, looked dashing for the picture, and went back about his business … not at all disturbed to be accosted by my wife.

    john cusack, on the other hand, turned out to be a bit of an #$%. my beloved slid in for the kill, and he started negotiating with her about whether he would take the picture or not … i finally just took it, and think the expression is, well, perfect.

    we actually ran into good friends shortly afterwards who gave us their tickets to a real, official ball (dead swann dress included). we headed over not too much later, but it turns out that the obama’s were gone even before we had the tickets in our hands.

    still, one heck of an evening … especially riding home on the metro in our prom attire, with not a single raised eyebrow.

    damn, i love DC.

  • live: the obama inauguration

    [Photo]
    ECPA20090120_1727, originally uploaded by [ecpark].

    again, i tried to live blog, but there was little chance with the telecom issues down on the mall. we’ve got an inaugural ball tonight (not one that he’s going to) so more thoughts later. here we go:

    5:12 am we’re up: go, go, go, go!
    5:35 am people are so … happy. I am sleep deprived, but “people” are awake, sunny and happy.
    5:44 am green line, Columbia heights station to l’ephant. trains are crowded, but not slammed.
    6:15 am tons of people backed up getting out of l’efant. saw man with “bush is a punk assed chump” bumper sticker on his back. nice.
    6:22 am in silver ticket screening line. line “starts” at third and independance. we’re on independance, a little before sixth.
    6:43 am 20 ft closer.
    7:10 am another surge. now we are *halfway* to fifth.
    7:24 am cops need to chill with the sirens. we’ve heard it before. hundreds of times. all this morning.
    7:32 am saw James carville, walking *away* from the Capitol. he did NOT look amused.
    7:41 am it’s getting markedly colder… just dipped below 20 degrees.
    8:12 am through the gates! onto the mall! storm the reflecting pool!
    8:33 am so, we went up to the front section, but all the spotsleft were obstructed views. picked a spot a little farther back, but with good view of the Capitol/jumbotron.
    9:12 am people have started singing (good) but first up is “if I had a hammer” … (bad)
    9:18 am “this little light of mine…”
    9:35 am “American Pie…” dear god.
    9:48 am people are booing Gingrich. we’re with a nasty, petty bunch.
    10:08 am Muhammad Ali just walked in … “Ali! Ali! Ali!”
    10:24 am john cusack? john cusack!
    10:41 am biggest ovation so far for ted Kennedy, tho ho-ho dean wasn’t too far behind.
    10:48 am huge jeers for liberman (youch!, but a great, warm reception for colin Powell. I guess the US took his side in that whole Bush/Powell divorce thing.
    10:51 am hova! hova! encore, do you want more …
    10:59 am well michelle’s dress makes up for that election night shag rug disaster.
    11:01 am bush is smiling so much he looks vaguely unbalanced.
    11:12 am bush one ain’t looking too good. didn’t realize he was hobbling so much. he needs to get health tips from jimbo carter, who looks like he could build a house, today, single-handedly.
    11:15 am can’t wait to see how hilary is announced. mrs. clinton? secstate elect? oh right, senator… (oops!)
    11:20 am catcalls for the bush twins. easy boys, this one’s taken!
    11:29 am try as I may, I can never get my hair to look like Lynn Chaney’s.
    11:35 am dick Chaney looks even meaner in a wheelchair. looks like old man potter from “it’s a wonderful life”
    11:42 am di-fi not looking so good, either. she’s hobbling more than bush one.
    11:52 am ick. not enchanted by that convocation. gene Robinson’s at the concert was 10 times better, and way more appropriate. too Jesus-ified doran official state event.
    11:55 am sing it areatha! first time Obama has smiled was at the end there.
    12:00 pm that whole “you may now be seated” thing is getting old for the odd million or so of us stuck back here in the fields.
    12:02 pm damn, yoyo and yitzak’s fingers look *cold*.
    12:07 pm I think I like Obama *more* for flubbing the oath.
    12:28 pm  great speech. hit all the right notes. little bummed his first words were “I’m humbled by the task ahead” as opposed to being humbled by the moment, his surroundings, the warm reception, his colleagues, etc. more thoughts later.
    12:34 pm it’s begun to snow 🙂
    12:43 pm me and my two million closest friends have decided to leave, starting riiiight about … now.
    1:14 pm we made it one whole block!
    1:28 pm there is something creepy/apocalyptic about “evacuating” the mall through an interstate highway tunnel. don’t get me wrong, it was a brilliant idea … but still creepy.
    2:18 pm well, we walked up the 395 tunnel (goes under the mall, following what would be third street) up to N street, and across to Scott Circle … where I just ordered a beer and a hamburger. god bless America.
    Explore the Photo Set:
    The Obama Inauguration, Washinton, DC

  • inauguration tickets

    n5409143_32670501_3448i’ve got a nice pair of inauguration tickets in my hand, courtesy of the immortal jojo, who will *easily* go down as the very best middle sister in the history of the sparkler family.

    we headed over to Capitol Hill today, a little after lunch, to pick up said tickets from jojo’s member (who is super cool himself, and someone i worked with a lot back in the days of comrade bernie sanders).

    we got there a little after 2pm, thinking it would be an easy in-and-out before they shut down around three … but instead, we walked straight into the fourth circle of hell.

    the metro platform was backed up, with an easy hundred people waiting to just get *out* of the turnstiles.

    it only got worse when we got topside.

    there are probably three entrances to each of the three house buildings, so a total of nine different paths to get to your tickets. when we arrived, each of the lines had hundreds (if not thousands) already lined up.

    i was surprised, but then i started doing the math … 435 members of the house (times) two-hundred tickets per member (equals) approximately 87,000 tickets.

    factor in that (a) everybody had to be present to pick up the tickets, (b) they only allowed one day to pick up the tickets, and (c) there was only six hours in which to distribute them …

    a little more math reveals that the powers that be thought *each* door/security queue/metal detector could move just about 2,000 people *every* hour.

    i’m sad to say they were wildly, and stoopidly optimistic.

    now, there is a happy ending … because we lucked out. i worked in said house office building for four years and i knew it had a back door … and thought to check to see if there was a line there.

    we also lucked out, because the throngs were so bad at the front (it went up and down the length of the building twice) that they decided to open the back door (where we were looking) at the exact moment we arrived.

    we were (maybe) fifty or sixty people back from the door when it opened.

    after that, it was all gravy.

    we just had to find our room, the lady sparkler had to pretend she was her sister (we had an old passport for ID that it turned out we didn’t have to use) and i had to smile, nod, and say “duude” a lot (trying to pass myself off as a left coaster).

    it wasn’t until we walked out the front that we realized how incredibly fortunate we were. there was an easy two thousand people waiting to get in just that *one* entrance.

    i would love to know how late those offices had to stay open tonight. my guess was that there was a line well past dark.

    first the bus yesterday, now the tickets today. let’s see if the luck holds through tomorrow …