Author: evancparker

not that we were particularly in the running for “parents of the year” so far, but our application was burnished this week when we successfully went the whole weekend without killing our daughter.

not for lack of trying, mind you.

the weekend started with sparklet rolling through the lady sparkler’s hands, off the impromptu changing table, and onto the (fortunately well carpeted) floor. daddy took it a step further by tossing sparklet into the air — and directly into a low-hanging door frame.

not to be out done, baby sparklet taught herself how to open a dresser drawer, and then close it on her hand.

fortunately, sparklet barely noticed all the varied attempts on her life, and mommy has been formally introduced to the “no blood, no foul” rule.

or is it “that which does not kill you makes you stronger?”

Well, turns out the doctor was right and sparklet hadn’t seen the worst of her virus, yet. (It took four days of vomiting on daddy to get to that point.)

Things are finally looking up, but sparklet has developed a quirk in the last week that we hope don’t develop into a permanent asterisk at the end of her current title of “best baby ever.”

Namely, she’s begun to see naps as a parent-sponsored means of torture. We can’t even lay her on he back without screams of bloody murder and looks of abject betrayal.

To combat this new development, we’ve had to resort to Karl Rove-ian levels of subterfuge … including long, long walks around the neighborhood in the morning and deviously timed car trips in the afternoon.

Before swimming yesterday, we spent 45 minutes in the parking lot of Sonic, because sparklet finally fell asleep and we we’re paralyzed with fear that twitching a solitary muscle would cause her to wake up.

Things could be worse, obviously — our child could actually BE karl rove.