The quick brown fox jumped over the good, but lazy Parker family.
the week started off with a baby center email comparing her to the size of a cantelope, which marked a sharpe departure from salad vegetables (peppers, onions) into the “melon” arena.
even tho we knew the melons were coming eventually, it unfortunately served as another reminder of my grotesque weight at birth
(10 lbs, 8 oz) (10 lbs, 10 oz … sorry Mom) which I am sure the lady sparkler has been tying hard to push out of her consiousness.
there was some good “size” news at the end of the week, during the lady sparkler’s cnow-weekly checkup. for the first time ever, the doctor described sparklet as “normal” sized, instead of the usual (and vaguely menacing sounding) “above average.”
the doctor also seemed pretty cheesed about how the baby was oriented — head down, booty at 10 o’clock, and feets jammed nicely into the opposing rib cage.
no word yet if baby momma is equally cheesed, especially about the “feet in the ribs” part.
abs(): Argument #1 ($num) must be of type int|float, string given