The quick brown fox jumped over the good, but lazy Parker family.
once upon a time, there was no steroid testing in baseball … but in 2003, the league and the players agreed to do a pilot testing program to discover if there was really a steroids problem.
turns out there was. (“Shocked! I am shocked to find gambling going on in this casino!”)
over a hundred players failed the supposedly confidential 2003 tests, and now two more names have been leaked from the list (bringing the tally to seven). and yet, the sanctimonious morons who cover this sport in the press are saying it is our duty to protect the rest.
it’s not our duty to protect idiots or cheaters. that’s their lawyer’s problem, not ours.
you see … in 2003, everybody in baseball knew the “random-in-name-only” tests were coming, and knew that the whole testing regimen would die an unceremonious death if there weren’t enough positive tests to justify further testing. so, it was in the dirty bums best interests to clean up just this once to pass their tests, and yet they still couldn’t stay off the juice long enough to protect their own long-term interests.
on the other hand, let’s think through this from the point of view of someone on this list: in the last six months, seven names have been leaked at a slow trickle, giving each perp the limelight-of-shame all to themselves for the few weeks that followed. given the choice between this spotlight, or being “outed” at the same time as 96 other players, I’m taking the latter … and banking that there is at least one person more famous on the list than I to distract the press and public.
we as a country, as a sport, and as a civilization have spent enough time being concerned about protecting the rights of the guilty in baseball. this is a sport, we’re not negotiating world peace.
how about we *out* these schmucks, and finally remove the cloud of suspicion from those innocent players who have done nothing except play clean ball next to a bunch of dirty teammates.
keeping the rest of these cheats anonymous isn’t helping them, it’s ruining everyone else.