Tag: Long Reads

  • i’m watching the world cup, and you can too

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    despite all the salivating about you’ve probably heard from soccer geeks recently about “tables” and “group stages”, watching the world cup over the next four weeks is a pretty simple affair.

    teams start by playing each of three teams, with the two best teams from each group advancing into a simple bracket tourney, not unlike the ncaa’s march madness.

    all you need is a team to follow, and here is a quick primer:

    who to follow

    if you are new to the non-american brand of football, you want to pick one that you can watch deep into the world cup. as much fun as it would be to root for some of these tiny up-start countries (new zealand springs to mind), you’ll be pretty bored once they get eliminated in the second week. so, you probably want to pick from the main contenders.

    Spain — currently the best team in europe, spain balances a beautiful brand of football with some physicality that is missing from other “pretty” teams. this team has a fanatical fan base, and some of the best attacking players in the game. they are also the bookie’s best bet to win the whole enchilada, so (hopefully) you’ll have a team to follow in weeks three and four.

    Argentina — has the best player on the planet (lionel messi), plan on starting three attacking forwards (most teams use two, some only one) and a coach who is desperately trying to translate his own brilliance as a player (see his goal of the century) into brilliance as a coach (and failing pretty miserably). but who knows … they could just as easily flame out in the group stages (they barely qualified) as they could win the whole thing, but either way the fireworks should be pretty spectacular.

    Brazil — normally, you’d never catch me pushing brazil (it’s the equivalent a new immigrant to the U.S. announcing they’re going to root for either the yankees or the patriots) but this team isn’t the same purvayors of “the beautiful game” that’s won the world cup five times. this brazil is much more blue collar, physical, jump-in-the-trenches then their predecessors, while still keeping the incredible individual skill for which they’re known. should be fun to watch.

    honorable mentions — everybody wants an african team to do well this world cup, but all six of them are facing a pretty steep up-hill battle. while hosts south africa will have ridiculously fun, pro-bafana bafana (their team’s nickname) crowds, they are the lowest ranked team ever to host the world cup and aren’t figured to make it out of the first round. côte d’ivoire had a great shot, but lost their star goal-scorer to injury. i have no idea which, if any, of the african nations will advance, but many people (myself included) will be rooting for the whole lot of them.

    teams you may think you want to follow, but really probably don’t

    United States — sure, there are dozens of reason to root for them. civic pride. names that you (might) have heard of. dozens of blogs saying “this is their year.” it’s not. i’m not sure it ever will be. expect one good game out of them, one mediocre game (where the result is closer than it should have been), and one shameful game (where they vomit on themselves). they’ll likely get to the sweet sixteen, but it almost certainly won’t be pretty, and they’ll break your heart eventually … they always do.

    England — see above, “united states”.

    Italy — while a fun, attacking team when they have to be, italy regularly lapses into putting all 11 men behind the ball when they are ahead (“parking a bus in front of goal” as it’s called) which makes them prone to stunningly dull results. that, coupled with the fact that the current coach seems to be infatuated with coupling “old” with “slow” and calling it a day, means italy isn’t a great team for newbies.

    Germany — about as fun to watch as a team of german accountants competing in the actuarial olympics. see also, “holland”.

    France — where to begin. they (a) cheated their way into the world cup with a dirty, dirty goal from a blatant hand ball, without which they would be back home underachieving, (b) the team they cheated out of the tournament was Ireland — who are much more fun to drink with — and (c) because of the way the group stage works out, rooting for france means rooting against south africa. oh, and if that’s not enough, remember that they’re french.

    kickoff on friday

    it all starts tomorrow morning at 9:30 am EST on ESPN. if you want to do some light reading before then, steven goff’s soccer insider blog is surprisingly readable for the lay people, and ESPN is desperately trying to hook the generic american sport fan on the Cup with their coverage at ESPN.com.

    as for me? i’ve followed the england national team for the last couple of decades, and am not going to stop just because that the united states is finally fielding teams that might actually win a game or two. it also doesn’t hurt that my club team (tottenham hotspur) has five players in the england squad, and it’s more fun to root for people you know.

    appalling, i know, but i’m okay with it … i have a feeling my ancestors were on the wrong side of the revolutionary way, anyway.

    PHOTO: Soccer-City-Stadium-outside-view by Shine 2010 – 2010 World Cup good news.

  • goodbye, iphone

    Well, it had to happen eventually.

    After 20 long months of AT&T suckage, i have finally taken my iPhone back to that great Daisy Hill Puppy Farm in the sky.

    While the death-throws of our relationship have been well documented, baby sparklet was the two-ton brick that finally broke the camel’s back.

    One afternoon in March, baby momma thought she was playing phone tag with me about some scheduling — she left me two voicemails and three text messages — but AT&T didn’t deliver any of them until it was too late to do any good.

    Turned out it was nothing important, but neither of us particularly wanted to discover what it felt like if it *had* been something more life-or-death.

    i got the HTC incredible — is one of the new-fangled google android phones. it has all the applications i used on the iphone, and has got some crazy social media integration (my address book entries link directly to their corresponding facebook and twitter accounts).

    but the think i love most about my new phone is that it rings when called, and voicemails don’t get lost for days on end. i know it’s crazy, but it’s kind of nice having a phone again.

    goodbye, foursquare

    speaking of saying goodbye, when the iphone died we kicked foursquare to the curb as well (foursquare was the location-based social media application that made her “mayor” of her favorite playground).

    in the end, it was just too darn competitive.

    while we thought it was fun to keep track of where we had been, foursquare is setup to be a game, and the person who checks in the most wins. this was cute and all, but we apparently live within blocks of the #1 foursquare user in D.C. — with an average of 20 check-ins per day — and so our mayorships were under constant threat.

    eventually, when I found myself making decisions on where to go based on where our mayorships were threatened, it struck me as the time to call it quits.

    instead, we’ve swapped over to Gowalla which is waaaaay more low key. there are no mayorships, just rewards for going places and trying new things.

    i’m saving up sparklet’s competitive streak for team sports.

  • awkward prom date

    i’m embarrassed to say, but i’m a chickfila mobile insider — which basically means i’m addicted enough to the deep fried chicken sandwich that they send me special offers to my mobile phone.

    this week they’re rolling out a new spicy chicken sandwich, and giving it away at special events in food courts across America — each decorated with all the fanfare of an awkward school dance.

    nancyfromwork and i went over during lunch and we were paralyzed by the throwback awkwardness.

    oh, and the sandwich was fine and all but — nothing can top the original.

  • your seat isn’t bolted to the floor

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    well, koons screwed up again … they had told us that our plates and registration would be mailed to us, only to find out that a “new” law (effective 2002) requires us to get the car inspected first.

    their incompetence doesn’t leave us with much time to dilly-dally — our temporary plates expire in two days — so i got to spend an otherwise glorious saturday afternoon at the dmv.

    favorite part: while i was waiting in the dmv office, a woman came in and started screaming at the guy behind the desk.

    woman: “i don’t understand why you won’t inspect my car!”

    manager: “ma’am, your seat isn’t bolted to the floor. whoever gets behind that wheel is going to get hurt as soon as they have to use the brakes. we can’t be liable for that.”

    woman: “brakes? but i don’t drive the car *that* often.”

    all of a sudden, the manager was *very* interested in helping me with my situation.

    turns out that hybrids don’t have most of the usual “stuff” that emits (catalytic converters, gas vapor recovery systems) so there isn’t a need to check to see if it’s working.

    the manager took as much time as he humanly possibly could explaining all this to me, glancing every couple of seconds to see if angry lady had left yet.

    then, he handed me an emissions sticker that doesn’t expire until 2017.

    woman: “2017?!? must be nice to not have to see these @#&%$ for that long.”

    or, you could just bolt your seat to the floor. whichever.

  • koons doesn’t seem to be taking the toyota recall very more seriously (updated!)

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    UPDATE: after some legalistic-sounding resistance (saying they were only obligated to fix the pedal, not do anything with the floor mats) they have agreed to get us the correct floor mats, and properly secure them. yay!

    we just bought at used 2008 prius from koons toyota in tysons, and have already had two vaguely disturbing experiences about the on-going “unintended acceleration” recall already.

    first, before we even bought the car, we asked them about the recall … and the salesperson said that, since our car didn’t have all-weather floor mats, it wasn’t subject to the recall.

    unfortunately for that claim, the next day we did a quick “check your VIN” search on the toyota recall site which reported that the car was not only subject to the recall, but that the remedy work hadn’t yet been completed.

    fine, no big deal — especially as the car was missing its floor mats when we test drove the car. no harm, no foul.

    we pushed the issue with koons, and they replied that it was just a misunderstanding, that the accelerator pedal recall on the 2008 Prius was “just issued late last week” and that they would certainly fix the issue before we came back to buy the car the following night.

    (according to Toyota, the 2004-2009 Prius was part of the November 2, 2009 announcement to address floor mat entrapment — but i’m not an expert in the nuances of the recall, so i’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.)

    the next night, we went back, asked if they had done the work. they replied they had.

    we asked for documentation, in case there were questions if we ever tried to resell the car. they said that they couldn’t print it out that night because the service department was closed, but that we could pick it up the following week.

    we asked if they had found the car’s floor mats. they replied they had.

    fine. great. we bought the car, joined the cult of the hypermiling prius, and were happy.

    fast forward to yesterday, when we got around to taking up the paper, temporary, “we respect your car” floor mats up from the floor.

    first, i noticed that the floor mats were the wrong color, and has wear that was entirely impossible for a two year old car (worn all the way through the carpet to the rubber backing) so were obviously from an older model year.

    (koons seemingly grabbed some other floor mats they had lying around, and tossed them into our car. that’s borderline scummy in my book, but not out-of-line for what i’d expect from a used car dealership — even for a car with the “certified pre-owned” label.)

    but then i noticed that the floor mats were unsecured — which is what led to the recall in the first place.

    (did i mention we have a 6 month-old child?)

    now, either of these situations alone — saying our car wasn’t subject to the recall vs. “fixing it” with incorrect, unsecured floor mats — and i’m thinking it’s just a bad day at the car dealership.

    put the two together, and koons doesn’t seem to be taking the toyota recall very seriously.

    now i’m nervous that maybe they didn’t even replace the accelerator pedal — i mean, heck, how the would i know if the work was done or not? — and am more than a little nervous asking for the documentation that the recall work was done.

    so, i’ve sent emails to one of koon’s managers and to our sales consultant — haven’t heard back yet — and we’re going back into koons on monday for some light repairs the agreed to make during our test drive.

    with any luck, they’ll have our floor mats waiting for us. i hope to god that they aren’t going to give us any grief — give us our proper floor mats, and actually secure them this time.

    until then, we’re removed the floor mats and are again using the (now oddly ironic) temporary “we respect your car” paper mats.

    we’ll see what happens — and report back once we hear back from them.

    based on what i’ve seen so far, i’m not particularly optimistic.

    UPDATE: after some legalistic-sounding resistance (saying they were only obligated to fix the pedal, not do anything with the floor mats) they have agreed to get us the correct floor mats, and properly secure them. yay!

  • our new prius overlord

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    it’s no secret that the jetta has been wearing out its welcome, so this past weekend we started doing some old fashioned car shopping.

    part of our thinking in selling the jetta now, is to unload it while it might still have some value … so we trucked up to CarMax, where the jetta was appraised for whopping $1,200 more than any independent car-value-resource would give for the car if it was in *excellent* condition.

    bear in mind why were were selling the car in the first place — transmission, bushings, air conditioner all failing — and that we’ve done ~$8,000 worth of work on the car in the last 24k miles.

    so, armed with a ridiculously overvalued appraisal — and one that’s set to expire in 7 days — we went shopping as quickly as our little legs would carry us.

    while we needed a car that wouldn’t die in the next week and a half, we wanted some more room in the back seat (even if it meant giving up some space in the trunk) and we liked the idea of a hatchback (for ease of access and maximum flexibility).

    once we started looking around, we quickly tossed a ton of models due to fuel economy / street parking concerns (including the mazda5, any SUVs, and all minivans) and then ruled out dozens more with headroom issues (including the hyundai elantra touring which we otherwise loved).

    and then there was the prius.

    we test drove a brand-spaking new 2010 prius on sunday afternoon, but it was a little toooo space-age-y for us, and a *lot* too expensive for the features we wanted.

    we liked the headroom, and all the space in the back seat, and the fact that it was a hatchback. and the fuel economy wasn’t bad either.

    of course, we didn’t much like the seemingly incessant “unintended acceleration” recalls washing over the Toyota product line. or the fact that there is a de facto “prestige” tax, not unlike when you buy anything that everyone else seems to want (ie. something from Apple).

    but, it turns out that prius batteries don’t degrade with age, so there is actually a market for used priuses (priusus? prii?) — who knew?!?

    we found a couple from 2008 that looked more like a car (and less like a spaceship), that had all the right bells and whistles — bluetooth/hands-free phone interface and satellite navigation to eliminate any lingering need for my iphone while driving, and the lady sparkler wanted leather seats that are easy(er) to de-babyify.

    there was still, however, the matter of the recall.

    unfortunately, the dealer denied (at first) that the 2008 priusesus cars-we-were-looking-at were subject to the recall (for accelerator pedals getting stuck on improperly installed floor mats). when we pushed the issue, and pointed to their own website, they “discovered” we were right, and quickly replaced both the floor mats and the accelerator pedal.

    and so, we now welcome our new prius overlord.

    it’s hard not to feel like we’re joining some kind of cult (likely because i think that’s exactly what we’re doing).

    i’ve already been honked at / passed angrily / verbally abused because i was “hypermiling” (maximizing gas mileage by making fuel-conserving adjustments to one’s driving techniques) by pulling out of a stoplight without the level of lunacy Virginians deem proper for the streets of their Commonwealth.

    it almost makes me proud.

  • the jetta is dead, long live the jetta

    with us running out of space in the back seat, the volkswagon jetta is running out of time … which means it’s about time to update the automotive c.v. once again:

    • 1978 Oldsmobile Delta Eighty-Eight (burgundy) — a big hunk of classic detroit metal that regularly seated eight for late tuesday night college trips to the beach. mostly totaled when it had an untimely meeting with a 12 point buck on the highway one sunday afternoon. the survived, the car not-so-much.
    • 1994 Dodge Spirit (maroon) — a graduation gift from college from my parents (above, right) the little spirit-that-could survived ridiculously long commutes up and down both sides of I-95. effectively totaled with the transmission, steering and a/c all collapsed at the exact same time, after almost a decade of service.
    • 2000 Mazda 626 (silver) — the first car i ever bought with my own money. sexy. looked like a jaguar from the sides (above, left). my ownership was tragically cut short when i met/married the lady sparkler, and it became ridiculously clear that we only needed one car between us.
    • 2001 Volkswagon Jetta (silver) — the car that killed my beloved mazda. the good: it was newer, had less miles, and was fully paid off. oh, and *fun* to drive. the bad? made soon after VW exported their manufacturing to nafta mexico, and a complete lemon in every sense of the word.

    so, what’s next? a car that works would be nice …

    right now, the jetta’s transmission is failing, the front bushings/suspension is creaking, the air conditioner only works at highway speeds, knobs are falling off the dashboard, both wing mirrors have broken off/are held on by duct tape, the stereo occasionally stops working for days-on-end, one of the fold-out cup-holders doesn’t fold out anymore, and we’ve done ~$8,000 worth of work on the car in the last 24k miles.

    outside of that, the lady sparkler wants a car where i can sit farther from the airbag in the steering wheel (because the seat is jacked forward to make room for the big child seat in the small back seat).

    personally, i’d like something with better gas mileage, so i feel less guilty about driving to work everyday — i stopped bicycle commuting not long after the lady sparkler got preggers — a guilt made worse by working for one of the planet’s largest conservation organizations.

    oh, and we’d both like a car that we don’t have to panic/worry/gnash-our-teeth about over the next, say, 6-8 years.

    the excitement starts tomorrow.

  • uncle paul, pt. 2

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    we’re back in the district after a trip to new hampshire for my godfather’s funeral — an event that i still haven’t fully figured out how to talk about, which explains all the photo-only posts (sans commentary) last week.

    part of my problem was that everyone had a favorite childhood story to share — and as i’ve mentioned once or twice before, the arrival of baby sparklet has temporarily destroyed any sense of a long-term memory that i might have had.

    over the last week, a bunch of snippets have popped into my head … an inevitable turn at the helm of his boat, riding on the back of his motorcycle (and leaning away from the turn because i was scared we were going to flip), seeing the inside of a movie projection booth for the first time, working his radio or in his workshop, and stopping for ice cream on the way home even though we both knew we we’re supposed to.

    but the thread from those childhood memories — and all those created since — is a quiet feeling that i was at the center of the universe.

    this weekend was also the first time most of my new england family got to meet baby sparklet, so there was a little bubble of “new baby” around the lady sparkler and i that even grief had a hard time pushing through.

    one simply can’t understate the medicinal effects of baby.

    sparklet was a little “emo” on the flight home, but this was to be expected given how crazy her schedule had become while away from home.

    and, after being held by different family members every ten minutes for three days, she was more than a little put-out today that she had only mommy and daddy (and aunt melissa for a bit) to bask in her unflinching glory.

    i have a feeling that all this will add up to our nanny simply *loving* us tomorrow.

    See All the Photos on Flickr:
    picnics, washington, dc
  • william and mary’s new griffin mascot is really a pant-less eagle

    after more than two decades battling with our own consciousnesses, college of william and mary students and alumni have a mascot to call our own … an eagle that has misplaced its pants.

    back in the 1980s, the school realized that the then current moniker (the “indians”) wasn’t going to cut the social mustard anymore, even if one of our original mandates was as a school to educate those who had the alleged misfortune of being born non-european.

    at the time, the school boldly chose to drop the nickname, but curiously insisted on keeping an obvious indian-derivative (the “tribe”) in its place, and then fought tooth-and-nail to keep an indian feather on the school logo (a fight they eventually lost).

    (note to school: that last part about the tribe and the feather might have tarnished some of the nobleness of the re-logoing effort.)

    anyway, a multi-year lack of identity ensued, which included a couple of dark years where we had an asexual amorphous green blob as our mascot.

    but then … the same branding geniuses that sacrificed a beloved president to appease out-of-state christian fundamentalists came up with an *even better* way to market the school:

    instead of coming up with a new mascot that matches the “tribe” nickname (or, you know, changing our nickname to something that matches our new mascot) the college of william and mary now has the very worst of both worlds …

    … we’re a tribe of eagles that have misplaced our pants.

    in due fairness to the administration, the creature is apparently a mythical Griffin, “a mascot that unites strength and intelligence, recalls our royal origins and speaks to our deep roots in American history.”

    unfortunately, that still doesn’t explain to me what happened to the dude’s pants.

  • humanity, pt 1

    there are times where i’ve been sad to be a human being, and watching the uneducated, partisan response to the health care bill is near the top.

    it’s hard to imagine what’s bad/unconstitutional about:

    • New health insurance subsidies would be provided to families of four making up to $88,000 annually, or 400 percent of the federal poverty level.
    • Health insurance exchanges would be created to make it easier for small businesses, the self-employed and the unemployed to pool resources and purchase less expensive coverage.
    • Total out-of-pocket expenses would be limited, and insurance companies would be prevented from denying coverage for pre-existing conditions.
    • Insurers would be barred from canceling coverage for sick people, as well as charging higher premiums based on a person’s gender or medical history.
    • Insurers would be required to provide coverage for non-dependent children up to age 26.
    • The Medicare prescription drug “doughnut hole” would be closed by 2020.
    • A 40 percent tax would be imposed on insurance companies providing “Cadillac” health plans valued at more than $10,200 for individuals and $27,500 for families. The tax would kick in starting in 2018.
    • The Medicare tax would be imposed on investment income for individuals making over $200,000 and couples making over $250,000.
    • The federal government would assist states by picking up 100 percent of the costs of expanded Medicaid coverage between 2014 and 2016, and 90 percent starting in 2020.
    • Individuals would be required to purchase coverage or face a fine of up to $695 or 2.5 percent of income, whichever is greater, starting in 2016. The plan includes a hardship exemption for poorer Americans.
    • Companies with more than 50 employees would be required to pay a fee of $2,000 per worker if the company does not provide coverage and any of that company’s workers receives federal health care subsidies. The first 30 workers would be subtracted from the payment calculation.
    • States could choose whether to ban abortion coverage in plans offered in the health insurance exchanges.
    • Illegal immigrants would not be allowed to buy health insurance in the health insurance exchanges.

    Is it the mandates to have insurance that is so evil? I’m mandated to subsidize people who don’t have insurance now, through higher premiums and higher taxes. Seems like this is something “anti-everything” white people would be crawling all over themselves to support.

    Crazy.

    Source: Bill Summary from CNN; Photos by Matt Dunn, from City Paper.