theparkerfamily.org

Tag: Long Reads

  • Wedding: “We went to Jared!”

    18k Gold 6mm Comfort-Fit Wedding Band*SIGH*

    I can’t even explain the horror of writing this post. They say confession is good for the soul … all I ask is you read through to the end before laughing hysterically. Basically, a funny thing happened on the way home from the cake place …

    After having our initial meeting at Lille a month ago, we forgot to actually place the order for the cake, and then they forgot what wanted when we called back 3 weeks after we were supposed to. So, today we had to shlep all the way back to Herndon, see “the guy”, redraw the cake and fork over a deposit.

    On the way back from “Cake, part 2: The Revenge of Fondant”, we realized that we had no idea what our ring-finger sizes were, and that the ignorance of such things was going to make wedding ring shopping online … well … suboptimal. Thusly, we decided to “swing by” one of the malls in Tyson’s Corner, pretend to be interested in buying our rings, get our fingers sized, and rush home to buy the rings online.

    Unfortunately for the mall theory, there was a bit of a traffic jam on Route 7 (the main road in to Tysons) and it just grinded to a halt after a while … directly in front of a Jared: the Galleria of Jewelry.

    With our souls already crushed by the traffic, we figured going into the store responsible for the most soul-sucking television commercials in nigh-on-a-decade (“He went to Jared!”) couldn’t kill what was already dead. Besides, if we want to bring down the evil empire, what better way to do so then by bring false hope to their sales associates and making them waste time sizing the fingers of future Blue Nile customers.

    Sadly, a very nice sales associate named Danielle helped us try on various rings. Even more sadly, they actually fit and looked rather nice. Even MORE sadly, they were reasonably priced, and The Lady Sparkler found the ring of her dreams.

    Wanting to save the last shred of my dignity, we took down the ring information and *promised* to come back to consummate the deal. I may not be able to stop the flood, but at least I can delay it a bit.

    UPDATE: When we went back the following weekend to actually place the order for the rings, our little helper Danielle was abjectly shocked to see us. I asked why she was so surprised, and she said that it was very rare for people to come back after being sized, and even more rare for a couple to ask for the person that helped them the first time. I handed her a credit card, completed the transaction and guiltily skulked away. I have become that which I had feared most…

    p.s. The first person who sees me walk by and says “He went to Jared!” will get slugged. Pow. Right in the kisser. (“To the moon, Alice. To the moon!”)

  • Wedding: Basics

    [Flowers]Well, there are certainly a lot of details left to finalized but — because we know you are waiting with baited breath — here are the broad brushstrokes of the wedding weekend.

    The wedding ceremony is scheduled for 11:00 am 10:30 am on Saturday, October 6th at Foundry United Methodist Church in Washington, DC. Foundry is located at 1500 16th Street NW, which is just north of Scott Circle at the corner of 16th and P Streets. We haven’t met with the Rev. Snyder to plan out the service yet — that starts in May — but we are very comfortable saying it will clock in well below an hour.

    The reception to follow will be held at 15 RIA, located in the Doubletree Hotel at 1515 Rhode Island Avenue NW. Take a look at our location, location, location (part 2) post, but the reception site is just two blocks south of the church. The reception will feature a mostly traditional brunch spread — eggs / bacon type breakfast — with a smattering of lunch items. They kick us out at 4pm.

    We have a block of hotel rooms at the Doubletree Hotel — see the hotel block details here — but there are also plenty of other hotels in the area if you prefer (see the original location, location, location post). For anyone who is thinking of driving to the wedding and / or the reception, there is plenty of parking available at the Doubletree Hotel for the whole day.

    Speaking of transportation, the closest metro stop is Dupont Circle, which is located at (essentially) 19th and P Streets … about three blocks west of the church. It’s a nice walk if it is sunny and you don’t have luggage. 16th Street is also a major thoroughfare for taxis, so it’s never hard finding one … coming or going.

    The final nugget of information for the day is about airports. Dulles Internation (IAD) and Baltimore-Washington Airport (BWI) are the farthest away — 30 miles — but will also be the cheapest. National Airport (DCA, or “Reagan” if you are Republican) is the closest — 5 miles — and is naturally a little more expensive. If you can find a good fare to National, absolutely take it. Otherwise, just make sure you factor ground transportation when you see that really great fare on sidestep.com (our favorite travel site).

    (Oh, the airports, metro stations and all other points of wedding interest are on our interactive google map of wedding weekend event locations if you haven’t made it there by now already…)

    We’ll give some more logistics suggestions as we get a little closer. Meanwhile, if you have any questions post us a comment or email us at [email address].

  • Travel: Vegas at Night, Las Vegas, Nevada

    Ah, Vegas.

    So, it’s a bit of a long story … but once upon a time, I worked for a progressive web consulting firm called the Carol | Trevelyan Strategy Group. We were a mission-driven organization, with nary a business degree among us. The type of company where people willing worked obscene hours for “the cause,” and where management was willing to go without a pay check in the lean months.

    Started in the early 1990s, CTSG created the first campaign web site (one of the California Senators) and by the end we had worked with just about every major progressive organization, cause and politician in U.S.

    Unfortunately, our luck started to run out when the non-profit technology industry started to consolidate in 2004. By the 17th of March 2005, we had been gobbled up by a soul-less, publically traded corporation called Kintera.

    Ironically, it turns out that our non-profit clients just weren’t willing to subsidize the cost of our doing business progressively … and we should all be honest that non-profits are just about the most ardent capitalists around when it comes to minimizing their budgetary spending.

    Anyway, we were in the planning stages of a company retreat when the St. Patricks Day massacre occured. For many, the purchse turned out to be little more than an excerize in pink-slip avoidance, so it was of little shock that something as expensive and touchy-feel as a staff retreat was cancelled.

    While the 2005 retreat was “lost,” a group of us are getting together in Vegas this weekend to make up for lost time and retreats. First step was meeting by the Bellagio fountains at midnight. How very “Ocean’s Eleven” of us.

    Explore the Photo Set:
    Vegas at Night, Las Vegas, Nevada

  • Wedding: Bridesmaids Dresses, oh my!

    Aloe

    Bordeaux

    Paprika

    Peacock

    Dark Red

    Aubergine

    So, dear reader, I am starting to get perilously out of my element, so please give me a wide berth as we discuss things … well, female.

    With most of the major decisions done (church, reception) or pending (rehearsal dinner) or at least started (wedding dress, band, photographer) The Lady Sparkler and her bridesmaids have turned attention to the bridesmaids’ dresses.

    My one request in this wedding journey was for bridesmaids’ dresses with large, taffeta “rear-end” bows. You know the ones that you see in the 80s wedding movies, where the bow sits right on the rump, and takes up the whole small of the back.

    Not surprisingly, the ideas was not warmly received. I believe that visionaries are never truly appreciated in their lifetimes.

    The Lady Sparkler and “the maids” have pretty much settled on Aria Bridesmaids as the place to get the dresses. Even my “groomsmaid” is on board … While I was pushing to put Chrissy the groomsmaid in a tuxedo, everybody else thought it would be more “traditional” for her to wear a dress.

    *Sigh.*

    The store they are looking at is online, let’s you pick a color, mails you a sample dress to try-on, and then makes all of the wedding’s dresses out of the same bolt of fabric so they match. All styles of dresses are in play (because they all use the same fabric) so everybody can buy the cut and style of dress that best suits them.

    Lots of the dresses have sashes, but no “rump” bows.

    The main focus (right now) is on color, because the color of the dresses is the next step to deciding the color of the flowers … which is the last, big, un-started project. The finalists are shown above. No word yet, but my money is on the Peacock or the Aubergine. Fabric swatches will be exchanged over Thanksgiving, so more info next month.

  • Wedding: Dueling Dinners


    Beacon Bar and Grill

    Local 16

    We have been scoping D.C. restaurants for the last month or two, working with a very patient, and gracious pair of friends (Sue and Jeremy) to find a couple rehearsal dinner spots that here located close to the church, that served good food, and had space for a private party.

    We are under this strange delusion that we might actually be able to walk from the rehearsal dinner, to the church, to the reception site (which doubles as the hotel) and back. Not sure it will happen, but that’s the goal.

    To make matters more interesting, my family has a strong background in dining (my father was a Chef for a number of years) and so mediocre food does not pass by an Parker unnoticed.

    Finally, D.C. isn’t exactly known for large spaces with plenty of private rooms for parties and events. Especially large spaces with private rooms that don’t look like the basement of the Hinkley Hilton.

    Anyway, what would be the point of the story if there was no happy ending? Probably to make you suffer as we have suffered, but fortunately that isn’t the case… Sue, Jeremy, The Lady Sparkler and I have two possibilities for rehearsal dinner spots that are looking promising.

    The first is the Beacon Bar & Grill, which is located at 1615 Rhode Island (the hotel/reception is one block west). BBG serves what it calls “Fresh Contemporary American Cuisine,” and (in some sort of incestuous irony) plucked its current executive Chef from 15 RIA (our receptions site) about a year ago.

    We took my parents her for a test dinner just this week (my mom was in town for her birthday) and the quality of the food and the service was just great. I had the pasta, and The Lady Sparkler had the fish. The place was a little empty for a Saturday night, but how many restaurants shut down in their first year of business anyway?!? (For the record, 25% in the first year. 60% within three years.)

    The other restaurant in the running is Local 16, a local, slow food, organic restaurant which is about four blocks up 16th street. We will give that a try in January.

  • Wedding: Done, aaaaand done (almost).

    So, our “come to Jesus” conversation work. Well, it worked if Jesus was a Capitalist and signed contracts for wedding reception locations (after he was done turning water into wine, I presume). Anyway, we have inked a deal for our reception, though no word on free heavenly booze as of yet.

    And the winner is…
    http://www.15ria.com/

    The reception will take place at 11:30 am on Saturday, October 6th, 2007. Eggs, bacon, made-to-order omelets, champagne, wine, bloody Marys … We are still negotiating loaves and fishes, but (while signing a reception contract is indeed miraculous) we aren’t expecting the second coming quite yet.

    We also finalized the paperwork for the Church, though I am honestly not sure what we are waiting on … let me check. This just in, we were waiting on me to say yes. Which I just did. So the contract for the Church will be turned in first thing in the morning.

    There IS one proviso. The church has this event called a “pre-Cana” weekend … which entails a group of soon-to-be-newlyweds getting together for a weekend of bonding, sharing their religion views and helpful tips on being married. This sounds like a wonderful experience for the more “expressive” portion of the Protestant religious spectrum, but sounds like cruel and unusual punishment for an Episcopalian. We are checking to see if what the refer to as “traditional wedding counseling” is available for those marrying more “inwardly focused” (ie. lily-livered) men.

    It also looks like we are just about set on a group rate for a block of hotel rooms. The reception location (15 RIA) is in the Hilton Doubletree, and it looks like we can have as many rooms as we want for $129 a night (which is a pretty fantastic rate for D.C.).

    T-minus 389 days and counting. Next up is the Photographer, Florist and … hmm … something else that will have to wait for another day.

  • Wedding: And now for something completely different …

    Bet you thought we forgot about updating the blog. Sadly, not the case. Instead, we did exactly what all couples with 18 months to plan a wedding do: we procrastinated for two and a half months … and then changed our minds.

    About a week ago — when it was 411 days and counting — The Lady Sparkler and I had what we like to refer to as a “come to Jesus” conversation. In it, she admitted that she had some doubts about Clifton, and would really like to think about an option (a “Plan B” if you will) within the DC city limits.

    I said, “Aww shucks sweetie pie, half the reason we had decided on Clifton was that you liked it so much … If that’s not the case, why don’t we start looking around for options in DC!” (For the record, that was pretty close to what I said … 30 minutes of “inconsequential minutia” has been edited for length.)

    The first lego in the “Plan B” construction was already in place. The Lady Sparkler is a member of the historic Foundry Methodist Church at 16th and P, and was keen to try and pull off a wedding there. In fact, Foundry is the home church of the minister that she was going to cajole into doing our service in Clifton, so it actually simplified a step.

    The church is stunning inside (and recently renovated!) Seating 450 of our closest friends, it has a soaring dome and some of the best stained glass in DC. It is also arguably the most progressive church in DC, which means we can get in and out without complaining about the sermon (which is apparently something noteworthy if you are a Democrat in Texas, or so I have heard.)

    We did a little research over the weekend, and the church was available … if only we could find some place to do an brunch — it’s remarkably hard to find breakfast places in DC, but that is another tale — with eggs & bacon nearby! (Stick with me, there is a happy ending.)

    Over the course of two days, The Lady Sparkler did some research, found a place half a block from the church, organized (& executed) a small drinking expedition to scout the location and then setup a meeting with the Director of Catering (and yours truly) for this past Thursday. BTW, someone in this story was once an event planner … you make the call.

    The restaurant — 15 RIA — is located at 1515 Rhode Island Avenue (where DO they get those crazy names?!?) It is a posh, trendy little place best known for its modern decor, great “Continental Cuisine” and it’s head chef … who was just plucked from The Greenbrier resort in White Sulfer Springs (the fancy resort with the underground Congress bunker).

    The reception space was beautiful (and recently renovated! see courtyard, indoor pictures on the right) and the menu was even better … French Toast with Warm Maple Syrup, Applewood Smoked Bacon and Sausage, Penne with Rock Shrimp and Tomato Pesto, fresh cooked Omelets and Eggs any style, etc. It turns out the place is actually the entire ground floor of a Hilton Doubletree hotel, which means in this scenario the church, hotel and reception place are literally right on top of each other.

    So, there we stand. It’s a pretty safe to say that this plan, formerly known as “Plan B,” is now the top choice and Clifton (whose church STILL won’t let us know if we can get married there in 2007) has now been relegated to the second tier.

    404 days to go, and we’ll keep you posted.

  • Wedding: Clifton, Virginia

    We spent the morning in Clifton, Virginia (map, two sites) looking at potential wedding and receptions sites. A friend of mine from work got married in the town, and absolutely loved it. It’s a tiny town (population: 185) about 25 miles west of Washington D.C. (about 15 miles south of Dulles Airport) with a very strong small-town America feel.


    IMG_0315.CR2
    Originally uploaded by evancparker.

    The only reception place we visited here was The Hermitage Inn, which seems to rule the town as far as weddings are concerned. Spent an hour talking to Serge, the French-speaking owner of the establishment, and was really impressed by the stunning decor and the strong brunch menu (still planning on a morning wedding so far).

    The prices seemed affordable (for Washington D.C. at least, where everything is relative) and they were clear for the two months (September, October 2007) that we are leaning towards. It’s definitely at the top of (what is currently) a very short, short list.


    IMG_0305.CR2
    Originally uploaded by evancparker.

    Immediately behind the Hermitage is the Clifton Presbyterian Church… and by “immediately behind,” I mean “shares parking lot with.”

    While neither of us are Presbyterian (Methodist and Episcopalian, respectively, but both seem to be AWOL in Clifton) it doesn’t really matter, because they are B.Y.O.P. (bring your own priest) to non-members.

    The church is under-construction (well, renovation actually) and have told the lady sparkler that they aren’t accepting reservations until September of 2006. This makes us a little nervous, because it would sorta suck to pick a reception place in Clifton, and then get married at Foundry United Methodist in D.C. We weren’t able to get in (again, the construction) but will swing by later in the process, assuming we are as infatuated with Clifton as we currently are.


    IMG_0308.CR2
    Originally uploaded by evancparker.

    There is one other church option in Clifton, called Clifton Primitive Baptist Church. The church has a strong cultural history. Built in 1869, it was the first African American church in Fairfax County. The church hasn’t had regular services there since 1957, but was renovated in the last couple of years for use in weddings and special occasions.

    It’s small (even by Clifton standards) with 1 aisle, 10 or 11 pews per side, seating 4 or 5 to a pew. By my math, that’s 80 to 110 rear ends, and not a whole lot of room for breathing and such. On the other hand, the lady sparkler and I are trying very hard to break the land-speed record of my best friend from W&M (Chrissy, with a svelte 22 minute wedding ceremony) so if we have to stack you all in like lumber, at least it will only be for a few minutes.

    The good news is that the church is (primatively) gorgeous, available for the whole day, and we don’t have to compete with a congregation for attention.

    One thing that is good the WHOLE way round is that all three locations are within an easy walking distance of each other. This means no limo (yay!) and no problems with parking. Not to mention, all three places are within 30 minutes of home and 15 minutes of a major (and cheap) airport. Finally, there are 25 hotels within 9 miles (Manassas, Centreville) of the town.

    We’ll keep you posted, but T-minus 524 days and things are looking pretty okay.

  • Happy Young Christians

    I left my car at Greenbelt metro last night (long story) and had to go retrieve it this evening. Friends dropped me off a couple blocks FROM Gallery Place to make the trip. I noticed some event just broke at the MCI Center, which sits atop of the metro station, and I started hustling toward the metro entrance, to get in before the crowd.

    As I approached, I realized that this wasn”t just a normal MCI Center event. This was something special. Jamming the sidewalk, and spilling over onto the street, were thousands of overweight suburban soccer moms, with feathered hair and “Property of Jesus XXXL” t-shirts. I was entering the Metro system with 10,000 happy Christian females.

    I skittered along the edges of the crowd, to see if I could get ahead. At the top of the escalator, there was a GROUP organizing around its leader. Instead of holding up a placard with the group”s name, or a colorful umbrella, this leader was holding up a Christian fish symbol stapled to a paint stirrer.

    I decided to take the stairs, deciding in my head that this would be quicker. Turns out that wasn”t exactly the case. After taking 5 minutes to get down 2 flights of stairs, I discovered what was holding up the group. One of the conference attendees, on metal crutches and with leg braces, had decided to bypass the elevator and the escalator in ORDER to take the stairs. It was definitely shaping up to be a long evening.

    At the entrance leading INTO the Metro platform, there were lines about 40-50 people deep coming out each of the 20 turnstiles. There were another couple hundred people at the station”s fare kiosks as well. Once again demonstrating my lack of respect for tourists, I skittered along the edge of room, and worked my way in behind a happy Christian mother and her happy Christian family trying to get through the turnstile.

    The youngest daughter”s fare card was returning the “stop, take this card to the station manager” error, that means there isn”t enough money on the card or the magnetic strip is dead. Her not-so-happy Christian mother pulled her out of the way, and pushed her elder daughter through instead. While the turnstile was still open FROM daughter number one, she than tried to push the 12 year old through. The doors closed on the little girl, boxing her in the stomach.

    After trying the errant card again, the mother turned to the girl, obviously disgusted at the inconvenience, pointed at the station manager kiosk (which is 50 feet away, on the other side of 10,000 happy Christian females) and told her to work it out with the station manager.

    The 12 year old (and I for that matter) looked at her like she was crazy, after which the mother (again, obviously disgusted that the girl can”t to anything for herself) snatched the bad card out of her hand, shoved the little girl through on her own card, and started barreling through the crowd at the station manager. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I can”t tell you what happened next. I went through the turnstile, and started wadding down to the platform.

    As you might expect, the platform was packed, and the train I needed didn”t SHOW for 18 minutes. When it did show, it was packed. Nothing really bad happened over the next 45 minutes… besides the previously disclosed overweight happy Christian soccer moms with feathered hair. And considering they were happy Christians, they did not seem particularly happy.

    Once in the parking lot at Greenbelt, I sprinted to my car, not wanting to get caught up in the exit queue. And it worked, sorta. I was number three in line (behind a white mini-van, and a red hummer, both with Jesus Fishes attached to their backsides) at the left most exit lane, when things started (or more correctly, continued) to go horribly awry.

    Turns out the White Mini-van didn”t have a SmartTrip card to use, and she was in a SmartTrip only lane. So she sat there. For a while. Finally, the attendant to the other lane abandoned his post to see what was up. Now, no one is going through either of the lanes. At this point, each exit lane was backed up with 15-20 cars.

    The attendant talked to the driver of the mini-van, and it turned out that she not only didn”t have a SmartTrip card, but she didn”t have any money at all. So, she got out of her car, and started filling out a “I don”t have money” form on the hood of her car. This, apparently, was the last straw for the happy Christian female in the Hummer.

    At this point, each of the lines were 30-40 cars deep, and the Hummer has about two feet on either side of her bumper to begin executing a three point turn. Now, where she is going, I had no clue. And for those of you who don”t know, Hummer”s can”t DO three point turns in four feet of space.

    Somewhere around point 29 in her three point turn, the happy Christian Hummer paused, and assessed the situation. Turns out, she knew exactly where she was going: there was about a 3 foot green embankment that leads back to the parking lot, and in turn to other exits FROM the station. Right as she was reving her engine for the onslaught, the previously stuck Mini-van got her stuff in gear, and finally proceeded through the exit.

    As you might guess, at this point, the Hummer is 90 degrees removed FROM the exit, and was blocking up the works so that neither she nor I can get out. For the record, the now 50 cards behind me couldn”t get out either. Over the next several minutes, the happy Christian Hummer executed another 29 point turn to get herself oriented properly once again. After fumbling with her SmartTrip card, she finally exited and let the rest of us do the same.

    I am not sure there is a moral to the story, except perhaps that overweight happy Christian soccer moms with feathered hair who derive happiness FROM evangelical Christian conferences don”t appear to be very successful in deriving said happiness. Maybe, just maybe, the need to fix something a little deeper?