the five rules of baby names

we have our favorites, but are very much in the “exploratory” stage of the naming process … and we are still adding as many names to the list as we are removing.

before last week, we had only discussed one rule of baby naming: 

• the “last name” test —  each first name has a last name, and it’s got to match.  with a last name like “Parker,” that means the first name needs be something from the same Anglo school … and while “Mariella” is a beautiful name, “Mariella Parker” is just crazy.

originally, the lady sparkler and i thought that one rule would guide us home, but now that we have spent some serious time talking about names, we have a couple new rules to add to the collection:

• the “CEO” test — sure we want the baby to have a cute name worthy of babydom, but will it look rediculous on business cards in twenty years?  for some reason “Kaylee” comes to mind.
• the “elementary school” test — will the child be able to spell her name by the start of school?  will the teacher be able to call her name without a phoenetic guidebook?  I think “Nevaeh” manages to fail both at once, as I can’t spell or say without serious assistance.
• the “gift shop magnet” test — while personally i hate those personalized rainbow magnets you find in gift shops, I fervently believe sparklet should have the ability to find her name if she’s looking.  this means no bizzaro names (“Estrella”, “Willow”) and no bizzaro spellings (“Nataly”, “Madisyn”).
• the “place in the family” test — if history (or the lady sparkler) is any indication, baby sparklet will be a force of nature … and likely the alpha dog of the household.  as a result, we can’t use any flowery names (“Lily”, “Emma”, “Ashley”) that are ultimately better suited for a second baby sparklet.

I think those are all the rules, though there are one or two corollaries we are also keeping in mind:  

• there has got to be a workable nickname (all I ever wanted in life was a nickname);
• have to watch those initials (“Isabella Constance Parker” would have the initials “I See Pee”);
• there will be no gender ambiguity (“Chris”, “Taylor”);
• and no stealing names from nieces/cousins (which is a shame, because I *love* the name “Natalie”);
• our M.O.H. won’t let us name the baby after the cat (which is also a shame, because “Emily” is my favorite name ever).

aside from that, it’s open season.  let me know what you come up with …